Thursday, May 24, 2018

Needs

Yesterday I talked about learning what our individual needs are.  If we don't really know what they are, we could end up using substances or behaviors to make us happy.
The list of all the possibilities given to me as a participant in a nutritional/diet plan are these:  (All:)  Personal time, give/do for others, recognition, movement, sleep, approval/acceptance, order and closure, time alone, territory (physical space all their own), financial security, being with people, competition, learning something new, anticipation, music, project, physical contact with others, variety of experiences, structured time, unstructured time, one on one attention, group relationships, empathy, humor, spirituality.
I am sure there are others.  I never really had the insight to figure these out for myself as a young adult.  Now that I am older I have explored these so I can better meet them.  I used to rely on substances, superficial experiences, short term pleasure (shopping, eating, spending money) to have pleasure.  Now I am not as interested in immediate gratification, but better able to see the big picture and delay for goals and more fulfilling lifestyle.
Last evening I fulfilled several needs and navigated a small obstacle with my DH.  My girlfriend T and I were going to take a full mattress and springs we are purging to my dear grandmother's apartment about 25 miles away, then take her set back to T's house.  I was giving my set to T, but my DGM had needed another mattress that was not as thick so she could more easily climb in and out of bed.  So, I gave my set to DGM and DGM set to T.  Well my DH informs me that it all will not fit in our SUV, but it will fit in my small truck, diagonally.  Well, I was not keen on the idea of driving down the interstate with mattresses catywompas, so I stalled and consider renting a truck.  DH suggests 2 options 1)  that DGM at 99 years old "use a step" or 2)  "that she just buy a new set".  He knows little of the elderly and their ways.  Neither option would be optimal.  I felt it was up to me to fix this and just leave him out of it.  My girlfriend T (who is my hero) borrowed her husband's full size truck and we get it all secured in the back of it, laying flat where we would be more certain it would not catch any air.
DH taught me how to use the motorcycle straps (I had been needing to know this for a few years) and viola - I helped others, we got rid of a bed, my DGM has a mattress set that is newer and at least 4 inches shorter and T got her new-to-her bed (including the frame and mattress pad) - and heck, I even threw in 2 new pillows, and we are all happy.  And T and I learned how to use the bike straps, just in case we ever want to trailer our bikes. 
I could have had DH help me more from the start on this, but sometimes I just leave him out of things when I know he will get frustrated and want to take the easy way out - usu involves 1)  doing nothing, 2)  throwing money at it or 3)  getting someone else to do it.  I want to learn more of direct cheapest way and doing it myself.  T and I considered wrestling 2 full size mattresses and springs from my house, to DGM apartment and then to T's house and up her stairs our wed workout.  I was only slightly less tired than my Tues night hot yoga!  I also took DGM my 2 working lamps to replace 2 of hers that were unreliable.  The first thing she said was "'those are a lot smaller!".  When I relayed this to DH, I told him it reminded me of something he would say.  Funny how DGM is blind until it comes to lamps that are much smaller.  They were slightly smaller and her other two dysfunctional lamps were supposed to be the same height, but one was like 3 inches taller.  WTH?

2 comments:

  1. I know the mattress situation is all settled, but your grandmother does not need to maneuver steps to get in and out of bed.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes, the less manuevering the better for sure! I will check in with her tomorrow and see how she has been sleeping!

    ReplyDelete