Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Goodbye Ugly Deck Structure

So, my BIL was down to visit his folks recently and stopped by our house to see our progress.  I remember both BIL's being very impressed with the quality of home we found in the small town 225 miles away we were retiring too.  Both BIL's are handy and can build.

I mentioned to BIL 2 how much I dislike the ugly metal structure over the deck.  The past owners would prop it up in the middle of the deck with three 2 x 4's and strap an enormous tarp on and have parties, I guess.  Well we were not digging it.  It is an eyesore and cuts into our view when we look out of window and look out over our yard from the back patio.  Plus, we are getting our patio screened in someday and won't use/need the huge tarp over the entire deck. 

Well, BIL2 wheels start turning and he is thinking it could use this structure to make a carport.  He only has single car garage and it is full.  He and DH both remark how much money they past owners spent on all this metal.  Well, we tell BIL2, if you want it - feel free to come and get it.  So, he took this week off work and is going to go get it!  whooopieeeeeeee!  More before and after photos!

So, here it is with the horrid metal structure and here it is without.  DH and I LOVE the uncluttered look without and will have better view of our back yard and the sky between our oak trees and the flag.  So much better. 





Monday, July 30, 2018

More Remodeling Waiting

Kitchen and laundry floor installed, molding put back.  Installer was working injured, so he will come back next week and do quarter round.  Rather than try to patch the kick plates with vinyl, we decided to paint them white and do white quarter round.  I painted kick plates and exchanged quarter round.  MIL and FIL will let him in next week.  We just say we travel for work, or are at work.  We do not tell people we don't live here full time.
 
Electrician booked and quoted. While I was waiting for him Friday, I painted refrigerator door and some touch up trim from the old ruined wood floor removal.  Here is fridge before, during and after.
 
We picked out sink and counter tops.  My kitchen is going to be gorgeous, I am so  excited.  I have never gotten to pick out and do my own choices.   Also, I have done ALL the painting on this entire house and am proud to say it.  Took me over a year doing 2 weekends a month.  It was brutal.
 
Made a pie for bathroom contractor and took to him, he let us pick tomatoes!  His son mows our grass.  Here is the post on our bathroom they did.  https://rightsizeandrethink.blogspot.com/2018/04/before-and-after.html
 
We went out to eat lunch with my sister and last night went out with in laws to nice steak dinner.  Yesterday was DH and my anniversary.   I told DH I am fasting today.   He thinks I am kidding.





Back to the city to work. 

Friday, July 27, 2018

Coaxing

I have been thinking about what retirement will be like.  Not the money, or the schedule or the to-do lists, or the relaxation or the clothes or the time...but what will my state of mind be? 

The other day I was waiting for my Aunt to pick me up.  I went to a ball game to see my cousin's son play ball.  I knew I went downstairs early, but I wanted to be out waiting plenty of time, because I knew we were cutting it close to be there at start of game.  A man also staying in the extended stay started chatting...all I can say about him is that he is good at coaxing.  Anyone who gets to know me has to be a little bit patient.  I am not an unfriendly person...I am just not great at small talk.  I don't really care about it.  So, I don't really do it too much.  When the man asked me my name, I told him and mentioned my husband's name...because he had seen us together and I wanted him to get to know my DH too.  DH and I both have very diff approaches to friends...more on this later.  The man's name is Bill, which is funny because DH and I know 2 other very talkative Bill's.

Thursday, July 26, 2018

Recipe

I am not crazy about zucchini or yellow squash - to be more accurate - I have never liked the versions I have had a restaurants.  They always overcook it.  Hate the yucky limp mushy texture.  So, when I married DH, he explained how much better it was grilled just al dente, with some salt and pepper and nice grill marks, a little drizzle of olive oil or balsamic vinegar.  Yum.  Well, I can't really grill at hotel, but I have been making this recipe a couple years and we just love it.  It is light enough for summer.

ZUCCHINNI AND YELLOW SQUASH SOUP
2 T olive oil
1 T butter
1 yellow onion, chopped
1 T minced fresh garlic
4 t chopped fresh rosemary
3 lbs. diced green & yellow summer squash
8 c chicken stock
salt and pepper
Parmesan cheese
Heat olive oil and butter in a large heavy soup pot, then add onion and saute about 5 minutes, or until onion is translucent.  Add garlic and rosemary and cook 3-5 minutes more.  Add chicken stock and simmer 10 minutes.  Then add the chopped squash, season to taste with salt and pepper, turn heat to low and simmer for 30 minutes, until squash is soft and the flavors are blended.  Use an immersion blender or a food processor to puree the soup.  When mixture is pureed, simmer the soup for an additional 20 minutes, or until the soup is reduced by one-fourth and slightly thickened.  Garnish with grated Parmesan on top.
Can easily forego the cheese to be dairy free (me) or use vegetable stock if you have vegetarian friends (like some of mine).  I also enjoy adding a pinch of crushed red pepper for some heat.
I hope you try it and enjoy.  I cannot credit the source, I got in on the internet.

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Feast

We have had 2 fire alarms at the hotel since Saturday.  Sat morning someone burned some popcorn badly enough to fill our entire floor with smoke.  I grabbed the dogs and my purse and ran outside, DH following.  Then Monday night at 12:30am it happened again.  It just lasted a few seconds and stopped, so we did not leave the room.  I think the one on Saturday gave some of the kids on exchange working the summer at an amusement park the idea...I hope it does not become a repeat thing.  We are growing weary of the hotel, we have made it through 1/3 of our stay.

I enjoyed a great hot yoga class last night.  My girlfriend brought me even more homegrown tomatoes!  So, after yoga I had my usual smoothie and I also had a beautiful hearty perfectly ripend tomato and some of my refrigerator pickles I make every summer that remind me of my mom.  She cut hers much thinner and peeled the cucumbers and added onion.  I did not have onion Sunday when I made mine, I just peal a strips spaced about 1/2 inch apart and cut them thick.  Then I usu add salt and pepper and a pinch of celery salt and sugar and AC vinegar and water.  Sunday I did not have celery salt, but added splash of balsamic vinegar and lemon pepper seasoning, and splash of Cajun seasoning.  This is great summer food, easy to make in our tiny extended stay kitchenette.

Look at my cute doggy wanting a bite of my veggies!


Have a wonderful Wednesday.  This is my Thursday, as I am taking Friday off to oversee the finishing of kitchen floor at RH and I am leaving Thurs right after work.  DH is going to bring our suburban and park it at RH in his shop.  We have decided the extra belongings we had stored in it - we will not need and if he needs suits/shirts/ties for work - it will not be until Sept and he will have enough notice, that he can just bring some up one a trip beforehand. 

So, I will have tiny bit of unpacking to do Friday or Sat and few light chores, but I am mostly planning to relax at RH and tidy up, do a little cleaning after kitchen floors are done.  And I finally get to put down my rug I have had rolled up for 4 years - not wanting to trample on it with all our moving stuff in...Can't wait!

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Summer Food

Is there anything better?  This is a  large bag of tomatoes my work friend, B, brought me.  I will blog about B later.  He is quite a character.  He was born in Midwest, east of here and grew up in California.  Got so he did not feel he belonged there any longer...different ideology, sick of the taxes/expense, outgrew his friends, burnout career (sounds familiar) and wanted a change.   Picked out Midwest states to consider, sold his walnut orchard and moved east to the Midwest.  He bought a large piece of land out in the boonies an hour away from the city he and I work in.  Then, bought some more land...he now has 200 acres.  He lives alone with his 5 dogs.  He grows trees, chickens, ducks, apples and this year quite the garden.  More on B, I am sure - he is very entertaining.  My husband is so fond of him, that when I suggest dinners or visits out to his land, DH is all for it!

Last on Friday he brought me zucchini, yellow squash, heirloom tomatoes, sweet corn and cucumbers.  Today more today more tomatoes.  DH and I have really tried to focus on vegetables in the last week, we were getting a little sluggish and yucky feeling from the stress of the sale, move, closing and hotel adjustments.  His numbers at the doctor even showed our backslide into fast food.  So, for about a week we have eaten much veggies and  can already feel a difference. 

So, we are reveling in these yummies treats and enjoying our seasonal eating.  Tonight I am going to hot yoga and cannot wait.  Was so sick last week I did not go and I really miss it. 
Have a wonderful Tuesday. 

2 Corinthians 9:10  ESV
He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness.

Monday, July 23, 2018

It's Shark Week

After all the news of last week, then we watched both Jaws movies this weekend and bunch of stuff on sharks...now I have seas, lakes and water on my brain...My mom used to read me this when I was little.  Have a great Monday!

Wynken, Blynken, and Nod (Dutch Lullaby)
by Eugene Field (1850-1895)
Wynken, Blynken, and Nod one night
Sailed off in a wooden shoe---
Sailed on a river of crystal light,
Into a sea of dew.
"Where are you going, and what do you wish?"
The old moon asked the three.
"We have come to fish for the herring fish
That live in this beautiful sea;
Nets of silver and gold have we!"
Said Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.
The old moon laughed and sang a song,
As they rocked in the wooden shoe,
And the wind that sped them all night long
Ruffled the waves of dew.
The little stars were the herring fish
That lived in that beautiful sea---
"Now cast your nets wherever you wish---
Never afeard are we";
So cried the stars to the fishermen three:
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.
All night long their nets they threw
To the stars in the twinkling foam---
Then down from the skies came the wooden shoe,
Bringing the fishermen home;
'T was all so pretty a sail it seemed
As if it could not be,
And some folks thought 't was a dream they 'd dreamed
Of sailing that beautiful sea---
But I shall name you the fishermen three:
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.
Wynken and Blynken are two little eyes,
And Nod is a little head,
And the wooden shoe that sailed the skies
Is a wee one's trundle-bed.
So shut your eyes while mother sings
Of wonderful sights that be,
And you shall see the beautiful things
As you rock in the misty sea,
Where the old shoe rocked the fishermen three:
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.

Saturday, July 21, 2018

If Someone Told You to Jump of a Bridge...

My dad instilled in me the instinct to be aware, question what the herd is doing.  I used to hear this quote a lot, especially as a teenager.  "if someone told you to jump of a bridge, would you?".  I ask questions...it might stem from my anxiety/slight OCD, but I think mostly because I grew up on a very busy lake and rode horses all over the countryside at a young age.  On the airplane I watch the safety demonstration, I use safety glasses, I participate in the fire escape exercise, I never ride my motorcycle without a helmet, I always wear my seatbelt in a car.  If I am in a boat (especially enclosed), I am going to wear a lifejacket.  Even if the people around me are not, I would at least have one in my lap.  Now I wonder if the life jackets not only would not help,  they may impede one getting out and under away from the canopy.  I know I have taken risks and made bad judgments.  I truly feel that but for the grace of my higher power (I choose to call God), there go I.

My husband and I have kayaks.  I have only gone out in it a couple of times, on non moving water.  I told my husband a couple of weeks ago that when we take our first trip on a river, I will be wearing lifejacket and a helmet.  I am a strong swimmer.  But I am not 20 anymore. 

There is much talk about the storm coming "out of nowhere" or whether it was pretty clear it was coming well before the boats left shore.  I know someone whose wife was delivering CPR to some of the victims.  I know many friends who have ridden these duck boats (I have not).  I am not crazy about going out on my lake from childhood anymore...just too busy and choppy.  I am too nervous and I have worked too many claims (more about that some future blog).  But people do it all the time, all summer.  Now we have learned 9 of these victims were from one family.  So sad.  Really makes me ponder.

It is so sad those people were out on the lake during a storm.  I have ridden my motorcycle in a couple of storms, maybe someday I will blog about it...but today, my thoughts, my prayers and my heart are going out to all those people on vacation, trying to show their fsmily a fun time.  Some question the decency of bystanders filming it.   Anticipate all the lawsuits...but this event serves as a reminder how precious life is, how powerful nature is and how we gotta take care of each other and pay attention.

Friday, July 20, 2018

Blue

Google Garrett Matthias 5 year old in Iowa.  I wish I had met this little guy.  I like him so much.  He can teach me so much about life.  He lived his 5 years to the fullest.  RIP little Garrett, may you be a superhero in heaven, because you certainly were on earth.

I see some pretty images on other blogs.  I am going to work on this.  I did change my layout slightly and added a picture.  It makes me happy.  Maybe more people will visit me.

My heart goes out to the people involved in Branson Missouri when the duck boat sank.  17 people lost their lives, including children.  So sad.  Hug your loved ones.

Thursday, July 19, 2018

Under the Weather

At least we had a bit of scattered rain and a break in the 90's temps.  For 2 days.  Today, supposed to be back in high 90's.  It occurred to me I could be having allergies.  My throat hurts, my eyes itch for over a week now  I did not realize how soon ragweed blooms.  Another sign that summer is waning.  I looked it up.  Ragweed pollen is low, but it is starting...

I know that milkweed blooms and thistle is past its prime.  It is obvious due to the bright colors and fragrance.  Once the thistle starts to dry out, you will notice the birds.  I hear them before I see them.  The gold finches.  They love the thistle.  I am seeing them, but not as much as normal because we are not in our house in the city any longer and I have not been walking as much.  Plus I walk later, due to the heat.

Well there you have it.  I am grateful for the seasons.  Before we know it, we will be freezing again!
P.S.  Update since I wrote this - after last 3 days I know I am sick with a cold.  I am sure I got it from the hotel.  So many germs.  DH had it first and now I have it.  I missed work Tuesday, despite needing the money to pay off my NYC trip I charged.  So, I cancelled all my Friday afternoon plans and now I will work all day Friday to get in my 40 hours.  But today I am even worse.  I feel a little bit guilty about bringing my germs to work with me, but it is a conundrum.  I wish all employees had at least a few days of sick days that they could stay home and not worry about their shrinking pay check.  Last night I took a short walk after work, my stomach is still upset and I thought that would help that a little and make my sleepy.  Between my stomach and my head cold I can barely breathe.  Night sweats, body aches last night.  Good times.  But I went to bed pretty early and slept decent.  So, here's to getting through Thursday.

Anyone else get a cold this summer?  Then I have the full blown ragweed to look forward to!  Lucky me!

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Summer is Waning?

The other evening we were sitting outside our house (our only home now thank goodness).  We were listening to the cicadas and watching the flag not move.  No breeze.  Just stifling heat and I was wishing for the summer heat lightening and clouds.  It seems like at both our city and our country place, we have seen lots of clouds this year, but we are in the grip of a weird spotty drought.  Areas close by have received regular rain this year, but not the immed vicinity. 

The next morning (Sunday), we were again sitting at our picnic table drinking coffee.  Right now, my favorite times to be outside are first thing in the morming (I wish I was early enough riser to say sunrise) and sunset - it is just too hot.  Has been over 95 degrees a lot - since May!  The cicadas seem to have diff sound in the early versus late in the afternoon.  They are loud.  They remind me of summer so much.  More so of the last part of summer, as I have aged and noticed subtle seasonal things more.  I remember being a kid and coming to visit my grandparents in the city and I remember going to bed when it was still light outside and having such a hard time sleeping because of all the sounds.  At our rural home, we did not have all the sounds of traffic, other people outside, etc.  I remember wanting to go out and play with the kids I could hear outside while I lay there and tried to sleep in the city.  I remember the window being open and a fan in it.  I hardly remember not having AC as a child.  So, did my grandmother and grandfather not have AC?  Maybe they just had a window unit?  I cannot remember.  I can't ask my mom, but I can ask what my aunts remember.
I also remark about how soon the sunset times accelerate as soon as summer solstice comes and goes.  I hate doing that!  Feel like I need to be grateful for everyday and not wish it by.  But I noticed last night it was pitch black at 9:10pm.

For everything there is a season,
 and a time for every matter under heaven:
 a time to be born,
 and a time to die;
 a time to plant,
 and a time to pluck up what is planted;
 a time to kill,
 and a time to heal;
 a time to break down,
 and a time to build up;
 a time to weep,
 and a time to laugh;
 a time to mourn,
 and a time to dance;
 a time to throw away stones,
 and a time to gather stones together;
 a time to embrace,
 and a time to refrain from embracing;
 a time to seek,
 and a time to lose;
 a time to keep,
 and a time to throw away;
 a time to tear,
 and a time to sew;
 a time to keep silence,
 and a time to speak;
 a time to love,
 and a time to hate;
 a time for war,
 and a time for peace.
 [Ecclesiastes 3:1-18; NRSV]

Anyway, those moments also serve as my stop and smell the roses consciousness this past weekend.  DH and I lingered and took our time getting the house shut down and all our tasks we do before we leave to drive back to the city.  It was nice.  We hated coming back.  Not much longer though, just over 2 months.  It was cloudy and cooler last night, so we took a walk.  I really enjoyed it.  I love being outside as much as I can.  Always have.

What makes you think of summer?  Do you have cicadas where you are?  What makes you thinking of seasons passing?  Summer waning?

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Update

I called 877 number set up by bankruptcy trustee and actually got a live person who was able to find my inlaws policies and update me on status!  After this going on for 9 years we have learned that both prepaid policies were acquired by a 3rd party insurance carrier and considered "paid in full".  Isn't that great news?  I could not wait to call my mother in law and let her know.  She was very happy. 
 
"Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake."
~Victor Hugo
 
I am staying in bed at hotel today.   Summer cold.  DH had it last week.   Oh well, our bodies tells us when to slow down.   Today is it.  At least we finally got a larger room!  We spent 2 hours moving down from 4th floor to 2nd, larger room.  We were very satisfied as we ate stir fry veggies last night.  The stove in this room works!
 
Have you ever stayed in extended stay?  What healthy meals can you make in small area?  Any ideas?

Monday, July 16, 2018

Let's discuss death some more, shall we?

So late Friday I got a private message that a friend from high school had suddenly lost her husband.  He was 55 and died suddently and unexpectedly.  Either heat stroke or heart attack.  So horrible.  They have 2 children.  His funeral is tomorrow, but it is 1)  3 hours, 2)  during a weekday and 3)  I can't afford to miss work and 4)  we have a deadline at work.  So, I am not driving down.  Several of my classmates will represent our class and support her.

Over the weekend, completely coincidentally, my in-laws-wanted to discuss their arrangements.  They had 2 sons (out of 3) and DIL present.  So we discussed.  I am getting ready to email our state attorney general and I will give you the backstory of why...

In the late 80's or early 90's my PIL purchased 2 prepaid funeral packages and paid several thousand dollars.  My MIL methodically for several years wrote checks and kept check stubs and notes and eventually received confirmation that they had paid both packages in full.  15-20 years go by and in late 2009 they receive notice from another state that 3 companies selling such "policies" were in bankruptcy and if my PIL wanted to make a claim, they had to do so my January 23, 2010.  I suggested they send their forms provided by the special receiver (trustee) via certified mail.  They did so.

We have heard nothing.  I am now going to follow up and see what information I can get, if any.  I am going to call the number set up by the trustee in the other state and I am also going to contact the state attorney general office in the state where PIL purchased their packages.  They live in a 3rd state.  Are you keeping up?  Confused?  So are we.

Saturday, July 14, 2018

Serious Family Meetings

So, having a great weekend at RH, except for the heat...and drought.  I have watered well, hope my small trees will be ok.

This weekend one of my BILs was also down, visited his folks.  We got on subject of funerals.   It is one of those conversations that are difficult but necessary.   I have become accustomed to discussing openly.  Some people have harder time.  Some people avoid.  Some joke.

How do you handle it?

Friday, July 13, 2018

Naval Gazing

SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is ... . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is.......going all the way.
At age 35 success is . . ..having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . going all the way.
At age 70 success is . . ..having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . ... not peeing in your pants.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD , "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jer 29:11

I have a little nagging thought this morning.  I was with a family member last night, family going through some hard times.  Some fracturing in the family.  Many in the family trying to deal with it head on, some trying to approach at a side angle.  Which is correct?  Maybe my other side of the family tendency all along, to not talk about everything, sometimes don't say anything...is that correct?  Why do I always feel the need to tell my feelings, side, perspective...maybe I should just shut up and listen.  Once something is said, can't be unsaid.  Where did this come from in me?  How do I admire and accept unconditional love if I don't have that as a value too?  Maybe it is some part of my desire to avoid conflict.  Do I walk away too easily...Self actualization starting here?  Maybe this is something I need to delve into...hmmmmmm.  Deep thoughts for Friday the 13th.  OK.  I am done thinking for today.  Hope you have a great Friday!

Thursday, July 12, 2018

Thoughtful Thursday

Thinking of my DGM today, today is the anniversary of my father's death.  I know it is hard on her and on my brother and my dad's widow.  So for all of them I pause and say a prayer for peace and happy memories.  As for myself, I just try not to think to much on it and also pray for happy memories. 

I am going to have to search for NYC airline tickets soon and get those locked down.  Then DH and I will literally concentrate on paying off our 2 credit cards and putting a couple of his paychecks aside for Oct and Nov (we don't get his pension until end of Oct and SS until end of Nov).  He is not worried, I am a little.  We should get a check for his unused sick time and a check returning our money in escrow from city house.  Maybe even some from retirement house.  It is really hot and we need rain in the Midwest.  I am usually ready for fall by the end of June.  While I am at it, I can add patience to my list of prayers!  LOL. 

I have not done it for a while, but my stop and smell the roses lately is just lounging in our meat locker cold hotel room and just accepting...don't focus on the unfortunate part of this experience and we have been enjoying fruit and salads/smoothies, cool meals.  I especially enjoy relaxing after my late but still hot walks I am now doing at 8pm.  I am loving the long days still, but noticed that last night it was pitch black at 9:15.  Tonight I am having a relative help me with my flights search (my internet is bad at hotel), so I will enjoy a visit with her after work. 

What are you doing to take care of yourself?  Hope you have a moment to relax today.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matt 11:28-30

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

More Heat

First, I just want to say my DH and I are so happy the soccer kids and their coach were rescued!  So much bravery.  I am humbled and grateful for soldiers and civil servants who take risks everyday to help other people.

I keep thinking that I should be adapting to life in the Extended Stay and be able to sleep, but in practice...not so much.  Was up several times last night, mostly because of the limited space trying to sleep.  I usu sleep really good after sweating so much in hot yoga.  We are used to a  queen.  When we prepaid back in March for our hotel, we asked for a queen or double bed.  They never explained no queen, only double beds - as in full size.  But some rooms have 2 beds, which we would be ok with.  We also asked for 1st floor for ease in walking the dogs and wifi. 

We got none of these things!  We are on the 4th floor next to fire escape stairs where doors are always slamming.  We have a single full bed and the wifi is non existent.  After getting moved in, we asked for a week about getting a queen bed moved into our room - no one ever got back to us - it seems no one there knows much of anything, they all refer to the "manager".  So, when i finally spoke to the one manager, he said no queens exist.  OK, what about a 2 bed room - well, they are all taken and no way to know when one is available till the people leave.  Then, 2 days ago, they offered us a 2 bed room - but just on the 3rd floor.  DH said he wanted to wait to move all our stuff when a 2 bed room is on 1st or maybe 2nd floor.  Uggggghhhhh.  I will just continue to enjoy the air cranked wayyyyyyy down and very cool room.

Supposed to be 98 and 99 through Monday.  Tues high 80s.  We are going to RH this weekend to relax and spread out, do some cleaning and laundry.  We will enjoy taking our smaller car rather than our ginormous older SUV.  We have taken the SUV every trip to RH for the past year and a half.  It costs nearly $100 to fill it up with gas versus $40 for the car.  So, that is nice.  All we have left to move to RH (4hours away) is what we are currently using in hotel.  So, that is a nice thought.
Stay cool and enjoy your Wednesday!

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Heat Wave

It is really hot here, and dry.  We are in a heat wave...over 97 for 2 days and likely for sev more, even hotter more like 99 and 100.  Going to hot yoga tonight,  my tummy really off, it will help me sleep.

DH is sort of having sore throat, a bit puny so we may just have smoothies this evening.  I got some salad stuff, a cooked Turkey breast, fresh and frozen veggies, fruit we can have here easily in our room.   Smoothies are easy and welcome in this heat.

Hope you are staying cool!

Monday, July 9, 2018

My Brother

I realize I missed my brother's  bday. So, I guess my brother must be about 21 or 22 now.  I felt sad, but not regret exactly.  I don't regret being honest with my father and step mom about things I observed which caused me to establish a boundary that essentially omitted them from my life.  So, when my dad passed away in 2014, any chance to get to know my half brother passed with him, I think.  My dad at least tried in the beginning, it bothered him that we did not spend holidays together, at first.  But then we were not included in vacations or family photos either...so I guess my dad either just gave up or got angry with me for my confrontational, blunt way of speaking of it.  I just feel like I need to talk about things...not just stuff them - that makes me sick, physically sick.  But that is the way of my dad and his family of origin - don't talk about it!   

I used to be a master manipulator and control freak.  And I used words as a sword and a shield.  I realized that just made me feel bad.  My sould searching and personal experiences have lead me to conclude that manipulation and control is the very last thing I want to do today.  This has caused me to be a little more aloof, but I know that is best for my stability and serenity.  I now do not have to share every feeling or opinion I have.  I just look to my intentions and pause.  Sometimes, I succeed and sometimes, I don't!  lol

Funny thing that happened about 2 months ago...I realized via FB that one of my best friends from high school, her daughter goes to same college she and I went to years ago, in same city my dad (and his shiny new family) lived in.  I flipped through couple photos of her lovely daughter, whom I could not fathom she was in college...lo and behold, friends daughter is friends with my half brother's girlfriend.  How crazy is that, out of 20,000 students!  I recognized his girlfriend from perusing his FB - on yeah, BTW, I am not friends with my brother, lol.  Anyway, my girlfriend was so shocked, she called her daughter to ask about brother's girlfriend.  Her daughter told her that my brother essentially told his girlfriend not to hang out with the single girls in friend's daughter's group.  This type of jealous possessiveness tells me that my brother is a chip off the old block.  Well, good luck with that! 

I don't know why people in relationships want to control each other...it will never work out in the long run.  Girls will resent it and either leave or sabotage (speaking from my own personal experience) and women that control their man essentially emasculates them.  Neither is optimal.  But I really do wish him the best.  He is very young, after all.  My dad, with all his flaws, was clearly the better parent because he instilled work ethic and consequences.  My step mother always let her kids do whatever they wanted.  Some of the lessons my dad wanted to relay to my brother, I saw my step mother undermine him consistently.

I had to do a lot of soul searching and even some therapy related to my need to please my dad which competed with the just as powerful need to be independent.  But I finally was able to gain some perspective over time and distance and that is, that my dad was a great dad when I will a little kid and needed him the most...and that is a lot more than many people can say.  So, I finally learned to see him for what he is (limited) and forgave him and tried to convey peace and healing when he got sick and died.  I have no regrets there.  I also have no regrets about having nothing to do with my step mother - I do have conflicting feelings about my brother...so I just leave it at than and continue to ponder it and pray about it. 

Sunday, July 8, 2018

Put My Finger on Something

So I am reading a book about rituals (Getting Back to Happy by Marc and Angel Chernof) and realized that often when I dont want to do something I do it after work so I am more likely to do it, rather than do it on days I am home (weekends, holidays).  I will just have to schedule workouts and coffee with friends to get me out if the house.

I also realized I do few of these things...keep visual calendar,  chart money/savings,  and have photos of my house on my work computer).  I got off career track 12 years ago.  Now my job is a means to an end.  When it gets to me I look at photos of my husband,  my dogs, our bikes/trips and our house we have been working on 4 years.

We are getting lots of rest in this small hotel room, but we need it!  Today,  slept in then we are going to friends house to see their renovation work.  Have a wonderful Sunday!

Saturday, July 7, 2018

I'm Back!

Back to city.  To RH to oversee new kitchen/utility room floors and plumber.  Did laundry.  Expensive here at hotel.  Golf today.  Was in the 80s fir nice respite,  was great being outside.  Sunday...then back to work. While I was at RH, I got some painting (porch ceilings and rear exterior wall), some shrubs trimmed and watered.  Have a great Sat night!

Monday, July 2, 2018

First Weekend in Extended Stay

We are pretty much accustomed to the noises and limited space and limitations of the extended stay hotel.  But, we are sleeping fine and managing to get our meals taken care of and the dogs are adjusting and doing fine.  There are many things that i appreciate such as the limited space to take care of, we are on the southeast corner (cooler than west side) and we can crake the AC and keep it really cool and we are paying for the electric or cable!  haha.  I also noticed that we cannot hear the fireworks in the neighboring housing additions very much which is good for the dogs.
We went out with friends Friday evening who all have June birthdays.  It was good to see our friends we had not seen in a while.  I ended up going to watch BIL band.  We were not going to go this time, since it was so hot and it was outside.  Then DH heard a rumor that one of my favorite singers was going to show up at this small dive venue.  DH told me to go and he was going to hotel to be sure dogs were ok.  Since it was in the opposite side of the city, i went with a girlfriend.  The rumor was false but I had fun.  Sat I shopped for my Granny and visited with my aunt who had been in the hospital for over a week.  Then I went home and DH and I went to a housewarming party for my good friend.  That was nice seeing people too.  We have been so focused on packing and moving, that we had not done much else the past 6 months.  Sun it was cool from an early morning rain and we went to one of our favorite state parks and hiked 3 miles, then lunch.  I got a few groceries and we relaxed Sun evening.  It was a full but fun weekend.