Thursday, November 23, 2017

Full House

Today, life has given me a full house.  Or, maybe a full heart and a Royal Flush.  Beats a full boat.  It is just me and DH.  More on that story later.

I Thessalonians 5:18 
In everything give thanks;
for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 

Today I accept that God gives me what I need instead of what I deserve

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Looking for Love is Like Gambling

16 years ago I moved home to the Midwestern city I was born in, from the Southwest.  I had lived in a large Southwestern city for 3 years with my job.  I liked it there quite a bit, but I was struggling in a few areas of my personal life and so I needed a change.  Part of my motivation was to take the focus off my career and meet someone, get married and have kids.  I did not want to meet a person from the another state out West and then never have a chance to make the move back to the Midwest.  So, I was essentially on a quest to meet a husband and have a baby. 

I moved back and stayed focused on my career long enough to get established and buy a house.  My job was going well and I got a promotion.  Then I started looking to meet someone about 9 months later.  I had a lot of family back here, so I met people through them.  That was really different from the other 3 cities I had lived in where I had no family.  I really liked the feeling that my family was there and loved get togethers and holidays.  I had a lot of fun with my cousins and my aunts.  I met people everyewhere I went, I was so excited to be home where I had roots as a child and my parents had roots and their parents.  Even though my mom was gone and my dad lived 3 hours south, I felt like I was home. 

This was still sort of early internet, pre Myspace and pre Facebook, at least.  The online thing felt weird.  Like people put their best foot forward and kept other parts of themselves hidden.  It felt like it was not authentic.  So, I decided I would have to meet someone the old fashioned way.  One night while I was studying for a huge test, I took a break and went to a concert with my cousins.  This was late July.  I met a man who was my cousins' friend.  He was very nice and funny.  He sort of followed me around that night and I did not mind.  He was very sweet to me and he was funny.  I could tell my cousins and their friends liked him a lot.  I ended up being the designated driver and drove my cousins, their friends and this guy home, in his large Lincoln sedan.  I had never driven a car that big.  It was fun.  We had all the windows rolled down and we sang songs at the top of our lungs.  Eventually I agreed to go out with this guy and he took me to an amusement park.  This would have been early August.  We had a great time and I enjoyed his attention.  We dated the rest of the summer and I met his kids in late September or early August.  His kids were adorable.  I loved the way he was with his kids.  He loved them so much, it was so sweet.  He was a really great dad.  His kids were really sweet and polite and were very sweet to me too. 

We got serious, mostly, things were fun.  There were warning signs, but I ignored them.  Part of me felt like this was my last chance to have a family of my own.  Part of me felt that I had given up too easily in past relationships and become a "runner".  I really wanted to try to make a relationship work.  I should have listened to my conscience and bailed.  Things went very, very wrong and took me down a really dark and horrible path.  I should have folded.  I tried to fold many times, knowing that I did not have a good hand.  But he convinced me to stay or my own conflicted feelings prevented me from getting out of the situation that I knew was not good for me.  I loved his kids and I loved his parents.  He had a business.  He was stable financially.  What I did not know was that there were a lot of secrets kept from me. 

Some of meeting a person and building a life are timing and luck, sort of like playing poker.  But there are also ways we can increase our odds and part of increasing our odds are knowing when we should fold.  I should have folded, put my cards down and ran.  But I just continued to ante up.  How could I have known he was keeping so much from me.  Did I know deep down.  The signs were there.  Why did I stay?

Monday, November 20, 2017

Overwhelmed?

Today I read an anonymous prayer "I pray that I may not be overwhelmed by material things.  I pray that I may realize the higher value of spiritual things..."  I have failed to mention lately that I am bringing that last of 2 boxes of old records to shred at work this week.  I had a single last paper box full.  I divided it by 3 because I only work 3 days this week and I bring an armful in a day and they get shredded.  I can't carry the entire box at a time, because I walk 2 blocks to work!  I also brought 2 envelops to mail a vest and a purse.  I also was inspired last night to get up during a commercial while watching my favorite show and grab about 8 items that I was on the fence about out of my closet and put them in the pile. Funny this is the prayer this morning.

The weekend was pretty busy...I need a weekend of nothing but rest.  So maybe the 1st weekend of Dec I will do that.  Have a total pajama day Sat!  Part of the problems i have are cyclical...i start feeling really good, I eat too much or not enough good "whole" foods, i.e. too much processed junk/sugar and then I crash and burn.  I went to bed feeling pretty bad last night.  My tummy was really upset, some abdominal and upper acid reflux and my joints were sore, right knee was throbbing.  Also some things I don't mention in a blog telling me my Candida might be back.  I know I need to do elimination diet...but it is the week of Thanksgiving...really?!  Oh well, I will just focus on lean meat and veggies this week...try to give up sugar.  It is hard, but feeling like this is harder. 

I did a 2 hour yoga class yesterday.  it was not solid 2 hours of flow, it was focused on using props (blocks and straps...and even the wall) to reshift your practice to sharpen up your poses.  Not just push for the ultimate twist so you can say "I did it", but really think about aligning the spine and opening the shoulders and gain from the stretch.  I liked it.  I would have never followed through with it, but I signed up and paid for it last week!  I ran home from church, put 2 home made pizzas (dairy free) in the oven and told my husband to take them out...then ran to the yoga class.  I was too tired to walk.  I really prefer to walk if I can, esp in the winter on weekends, because I like the sunshine.  I can't get home early enough during the week to walk in the daylight. 

so far rest last evening helped my knee, so i am planning on hot yoga after work.  We shall see.  Hope you get some sun on your face today and don't get overwhelmed by stuff!

Sunday, November 19, 2017

Health Schmealth

DH went to a health fair at work this week.  He got a free pill compartment thing-a-ma-bob. He showed it to me.  We looked at each and laughed.  We might get one day worth of pills and supplements in that thing!

I was doing real well last week tummy-wise.  Did some lazy/sloppy food choices starting thurs night and now I am paying for.  I will benefit from structure of the work week. Either I need to do full elim diet again, or the Budwig protocol wont work for me unless i can find suitable dairy free sub.

Celebrated a full life this weekend.  Went to see BIL3 band fri night, great time shopping/lunch with (maternal) aunts sat then quick walk in the cool but sunny afternoon.  Awesome anniv party sat evening. Helping a new friend.  Church and yoga sunday.  No new purchases, few more clothes items sold.  I am eyeing a pair of Uggs, my first.  But 2-3 pair of shoes will go a d i wont get them till i can pay for them with PM credit.

Short week next week.  Love this time of the year!

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Rate of Reduction Slow But Steady

Rate of Reduction Slow but Steady
I have slowed somewhat the rate of selling shoes/hats/clothes on PM.  But, not the rate that DH is clearing out his stuff.  Due the level of my down/slash right-sizing, I was able on couple hours notice to clear out 1/2 the upstairs closet.  This works perfectly, because now my husband can put his daily essentials in the upstairs closet and more easily see what he does not need/use downstairs.  Things happen in their own sweet time, not nec when I am ready!

I have rid my home of a barely used exercise mat (I still have 2 more!), 2 large display jars to my friend at work, a camel hair coat of my husbands and a couple other bags to my aunt.  I also got rid of a large amount of homecooked food to my good girlfriend who just had neck laminectomy surgery.  So, that was nice.  I just cooked my usu sunday thing for my husband and doubled everything so I could take her a few meals ready to heat up.  I finished the apples - thank good ness.  I made 2 crockpots of applesauce but I added too much cloves to the 2nd batch - just a  will do when it comes to cloves.

The sun has been out for last 2 days.  So nice, even if I am stuck inside working.  My DH played golf again yesterday with BIL3.  They had a much better outing that our cold drizzle of Sunday.  I considered it, but I need the income right now to pay off stuff (have a bit charged for my winter yoga increase) and stash a little for next year.

Tonight will be quiet.  I have a credit at a nearby home store when I am thinking of buying a couple of those versatile poofs or bean bags for impromptu seating.  Hope you are having a great Thursday!  I applied for a couple of positions at my RH location - keep your fingers crossed!

Monday, November 13, 2017

Whirlwind Weekend

So tired when I got home Fri, DH decided we would order delivery Chinese.  Works for me!  The place we like delivers really good food and a lot of it!  So for about $25 we get 2 meals each and I have my lunch today.  So, that is 5 meals out of it!  Thurs night and Sat night I did 2 more crockpots full of chunky cinnamon applesauce.  I shared with family and friends and froze 5 quarts in bags laid flat.  Sat/Sun I finished backing up my entire computer (music, documents, pictures) and erased one of the accounts that was acting up.  The computer repair people I talked to about my computer issues said 2 accounts on one computer won't affect speed or updates, but I think it did.  My original account when I bought the laptop  4 years ago evidently had something wrong, because a year later when I was trying to be able to watch Amazon Prime videos on it, I called Microsoft for help and they set up a whole different account.  Well, sometimes I would get error messages or the updates would not download for one or the other.  I never moved all the music, docs and photos over to the new account, so I still went back and forth.  Well, NOT ANYMORE!  WOOOOOO HOOOOOOO.  It took me a couple of weeks (off and on) to get all the stuff off the old account and on to the new account (plus backed up to thumb drives!.  I got that finished yesterday and loaded the new giant storage thumb drive for music for my car.  Then I deleted the old account.  So fingers crossed, we shall see.

Sat late morning while DH was still hunting (he got up at 4:30am), I cleaned house, did sheets and towels.  Went to grocery store.  Then when he got home (sans deer).  He wanted to play golf, because he and his normal golf partner (his brother - BIL 3) could not play earlier in the week, like they normally do on Wed.  So, since they played Sat, I was off work and I got to play too!  It was cold, but not too windy, about mid 40's.  We have played in the 30's, so we don't mind.  But on about hole 3 it started a steady drizzle.  On hole 5 I still had feeling in my fingers and par'd the 4 par.  Not only that, I chipped a 50 foot chip shot right off the green and it went right in!  Plop!  Nothing but net!  Didn't even bounce!  Right in!  It was thrilling.  I got on the green sev more times to put for par, even one birdie...but I really need to work on my putting game.  My BIL3 says I will shave many points off once I lock down my putting.  Boy were we freezing!  It just drizzled on all afternoon, nothing showing up on radar, but we continued on.  Downed a cup of coffee for the back 9.  It just got too dark and by hole 17 I was done.  I drove, it was nice and right down the middle but too hard to see, esp if we went in the rough!  So we called it.  Sat night I did the applesauce.  I processed 3 bushels of apples this fall and didn't waste any!  I hate waste.  I wanted to take a bit over to my friend, but she was being released from hospital and preferred for me to come by Sun.

Sunday I got up and started cooking at 8 after I walked the dogs and had a cup of coffee.  Got the broccoli casserole assembled, apples ready and pork roast/veggies in the oven while I went to church.  Got home, baked corn bread and DH and I ate while apple brown betty baked.  Then, DH went to hunt more and I took my girlfriend soup, cornbread, roast pork and veggies, broccoli casserole and apple brown betty.  She is doing well after neck surgery, except for nausea.  She is going to check in with the doctor today.  She has a friend of her husband's staying with her, we will call her Gemma.  My friend is a dear person.  It is hard to see her feeling bad, I wish I could help.  I told Gemma even if T can't eat then the food can help all her family and friends helping check on T.

Sitting at work today.  Waiting for my assignment.  Will prob get more relaxation here at work.  Is still dark and drizzly but church inspired me yesterday (Peter 4:10-14), it was about being of service to glorify God.  I enjoyed the sermon with my friend C and church regular P.  I am looking forward to hot yoga tonight.  Hope you all have a great week!

Friday, November 10, 2017

A Photo I will Describe

Tonight I posted a cool photo.  My commute took an hour and a half (its usu 25-35 min).  Oh well.  I am going over a bridge with ornate railing, looking west at geese flying in sunset and lights of city beyond.  What a gorgeous sky to remember our veterans, past and present.  Thank you.  And be safe all you hunters out there tomorrow!