Since my last post, we have received formal diagnosis of the dreaded D word. The movement clinic also saw and tested DH and went through a very thorough panel of questions, medication review and clinical observation and are requesting more testing including a PET scan. That neuro did prescribe him a medication to help with the restlessness and agitation. Thankfully, it seems to be helping. DH is finally not roaming the house at all hours, leaving water on, opening refrigerator and leaving it open, moving furnature, getting stuff out of cabinets and drawers...And most importantly, he is sleeping better and that gives me a chance to sleep. He still gets dizzy and has fallen a few times, twice during the middle of the night, which is VERY stressful. But the sleep deficit I was building up is getting caught up. I can feel the level of cortisol start to level out. I am getting caught up at work too, with extra hours and focused time when I am there. My new boss also is taking some of my workload away. How crazy that the new team I was just moved to...I have the highest inventory of all of them (?!) although I have been on FMLA since May - what the heck? No wonder I felt panicked with the workload - I have been working till 8 and 9pm some nights. But I feel that easing some.
I have also talked to my sister in law (and her husband, who basically spoke for her) that she was so burned out from helping her mom that she cannot help us at all. Not even take her brother to a few doctor appointments to help me be allowed to work. So, I thanked them for their honesty and accepted the boundary she has. But a day or so later after I had a chance to process that rejection, I realized that having burnout from helping her mom does not explain how she and her brothers don't even call and check on DH, their brother. What is that about? Maybe they all feel it is too hard to face what is happening, and worry about how they will deal with that if/when they are faced with the possibility too, that they may face degenerative cognitive decline.
Since July I have hired outside private help and A has been a real God send for us. She is very pleasant and cheerful, a real nice lady. She comes in and jumps right in doing anything around the house she can. She helps DH with grooming and dressing, laundry. She fixes snacks and meals. She feeds our dogs. Cleans the house. She has even cleaned the shower, windows, blinds, baseboards...all without being told. This allows me to focus on work and then after work I can take a walk, do yoga, have coffee with a friend, etc. I have gotten rid of some excess expenses and sold my car to be able to budget this extra expense, but it has been well worth it getting the help.
I am working with a couple elder law specialists and our tax guy getting our financial and legal affairs in order for long term changes. This is also a lot of work, detail and added stress finding the necessary information and submitting all those statements and documents. I hope it is over soon. I truly do need to feel some of my hard work pay off with results. But at least my acute stress is feeling more like chronic stress and hopefully, when some of these steps are in place, I can start to breath normally again. Until then, signing off to enjoy couple more hours of my flex day - first checking on my little humming birds and making sure they have nectar. Stay cool out there everyone! Thank you for reading.
