Last Day of September

Is just great to have 2 nights of blissful, deep 8 to 8.5 hours uniterrpuninterrupted sleep.

Yesterday after failed cable company install.  We did a bit of thrifting.  We wanted a couple of metal sculptures or signs to hang on DH shop.  We found couple cute metal signs. 

I planted mums and painted an old concrete hog that looked tattered and shabby.  I will have to post photos when we get internet.

Today I am painting 2 light fixtures and a ceiling fan outside on our porch. They were all rusty and faded, had some discoloration,  being white.  I am painting all gloss black to freshen up.  Putting new globes.  Easier and cheaper than replacing.

I pray that I may lay myself open to the healing touch of God. I pray that I may not falter or faint by the wayside, but renew my courage through prayer.  My healing is fully underway.   I pray for those who are hurting.  Today, mostly my Granny, my Uncle and my friend N.

Cable Television

Today, slept in.  Leisurely coffee.  DH new paper was in the driveway.  I got a call confirming the 1pm to 3pm cable appt.  We ran and got small TV for the kitchen.   It was great.

Then, reality.  The cable installer was 3rd party.  He had different order than I had taken an hour or so to set up 2 weeks ago.  We called the company.   They said "that price is not available ". The 3rd party installer had no authority.

We told him nevermind.

I will either take the TV back, or set it up with an antenna so I can watch news and public tv.  Lots of scripted and cooking shows on public tv.

We are going to talk to the provider in person Monday.  And if we make no progress on price,  we will either have just one tv on cable or just do internet.

I am more angry at myself for falling for the gimmick.   I think the bait and switch is part of the cable carriers ' business plan.

I love to read and I love music. 

I am leaning toward just internet

First Day of Retirement 1.0

I am saying 1.0...because,  well...I like to have options.

Slept in, 15 min later than usual.  Walked 1 dog.   Enjoyed coffee and packing up our room.

I will write about my last day of work and my happy hour tomorrow.

After coffee I took Male dog to vet, checked his glands.  They are ok, he must be itching dye to allergies.   Makes sense, the grass around hotel is about a foot tall.

Made a phone call (anonymously) to room above us.  I have started doing this regularly and it gives me a re as l boost.

Got gussied up and put on a dress.  Going to DH retirement luncheon now.   It should be mostly nerve racking,  but hopefully last time I wear a dress for at least 3 months (I am going to an NYE wedding).

The weather is beautiful! Sunny and 65.  Perfect for a drive 4 hours to retirement home later today.  I can put on my audio book and just relax.  I will have one of the dogs.   The other two will ride in suburban with DH.

Have a great Friday!

Last Day at Work

I did not come here to make friends.  I did not even plan to have any friends here.
At my last job, I left with my head down and my tail tucked.  The End.  No more contact.  No goodbyes.  No nothing.  It was horrible.  I know work friends are not like close friends/family.  But in my 20's through my mid 30's - this job was everything to me.  It still hurts me.  The finality of leaving.  The why, along with the how.  The continuing sadness and second-guessing.  Maybe someday I will have the courage to write more about it.  Suffice it to say, much of the news in the last couple years has brought back a flood of memories of my corporate experience from 1991 through 2005. 

A FLOOD of memories.

Anyway, I can say things here in this blog and the thin veil of anonymity that I do not feel free to say on social media.  My good friends can only feel so sorry for me for retiring at 51.  But the truth is, I am terrified.  My current work friend pointed out, "...you should not be afraid of retirement...[it] should be afraid of you..."

I am going to miss this guy, and many people I work with.  Some truly treasured and valued friends.  More on that, when typing about it does not make me cry.

I am going to let that be my mantra.  My Rosetta Stone, one of my professors used to say. 

Have a great Thursday, everyone!  I know I will.  Today is my last day at work.

10 Things I Have Learned from Staying 3 Months in an Extended Stay Hotel

1.  Not having a house to take care of leads to less stress.  We were high on the relief of selling our city house and I thought that relief would carry us farther.  It lasted less than a week, adjusting to reality of the challenges of the hotel.  But over all, that relief has been profound after having 2 houses to take care of for 4 years.

2.  I need much less stuff than I thought I needed to make me happy.  I have about 2 feet of hanging clothes this whole time and 2 jackets.  About 6 pair of shoes.  1 pot, 1 pan.  Full size fridge.  This has worked fine, esp for mostly summer weather. 

3.  Less space means less choices, forcing me to be creative about privacy and relaxation.  I have been exercising most of my life, lately, it truly is an escape for me.  From the tiny room.  When I need a break from my spouse, I either go somewhere alone and exercise or grocery shop. Spend time with friends and family more.  I have even become very adaptive, in that I put headphones in and listen to an audio book or relaxation music  with my eye pillow blocking out light.  I turn away from said spouse if I am in a huff.  This helps me too when it is noisy and I have trouble getting back to sleep in the middle of the night.

4.  Less space is easier to keep clean and frees me up to do other things. No further explaining needed here!

5.  It takes me at least 3 months to adjust to my surroundings.  Now that many of the things that were driving me nuts before, I am getting used to.  However, new pet peeves abound.  Still cannot wait to get out of here.  But, I am proud of my ability to adapt.

6.  I have more confidence in my ability to deal with an environment I do not like.  I have joked that if DH and I can get through this, we can get through anything.  I really was joking.  However, the adjustment to retirement - at least the big immediate leap, seems like a dream now.  We will obviously have much adjusting to do, long term.  But, we are going to be elated for a couple of months, I think!

7.  I have less affection for fellow man and simultaneously look forward to having more solitude.  This is huge.  I have never really been introverted, but I am now!

8.  I have gratitude for the comfort of my retirement home.  I loved our RH the minute we walked in.  Now, it will seem like pure heaven.  I will do a post soon about the things I will never miss about the extended stay!  Haha. 

9.  I am forced to plan more and be more creative for meals.  I do not need nearly so much groceries or kitchen equipment. I took a bunch of photos.  I will have to organize and post these!  When faced with the prospect of 4 small cabinets above and 2 large ones below, along with the task of carrying all the bags from car to elevator - while using a card key for 2 doors...you buy way less!

10.  It is easier to get ready since I have much less clothes, shoes and jewelry. I have been mostly just taking home dirty clothes to wash and not bringing much back.  It will not be to difficult to fit what is left in my much smaller closet in retirement home.  But, I still have too much and not enough order there.  So, this has been helpful.  I will truly only keep what is comfortable and functional and makes me feel good about wearing it.  I also plan to shift to mindset that everything I have is every day wear (except for some dressy stuff for special occasions, weddings, funerals, church - if I need to work, etc).  I will never truly be a capsule wardrobe kind of gal - but I have REALLY cut down.  That is a work in progress.  The biggest change of all - I don't care about clothes shopping at all.  I will have to watch my online shopping.  Welcome to the 21st Century, huh?  Don't a lot of us!

2 more nights.  Have a great hump day!

Retirement and Money

Talking about retirement is incomplete without talk about money.  It is a weird topic for me.  It certainly comes from my upbringing.  I guess most of us do carry some emotion around this topic.  I have listened to Dave Ramsey and Suzi Orman - they are just dynamic and accessible.  Less accessible is honest, not perfect, real everyday people and their stories.  At least specifics.  Most people will talk in generalities.  Actually, some of the more specific numbers I get are other bloggers.  Whether they are accurate is no way to tell.

I looked at some statistics...According to the Motley Fool, 40% of Americans do not have enough money to cover a $400 emergency.  This same article says that the ave American hh savings is $16, 420 while the median is $4380.  That means most Americans have closer to the $4380 figure.  In another article, this same source indicated that ave retirement costs a bit over $700,000.  It also indicates that 1/3 of American hh do not have ANY money saved for retirement.

This tells me that we are a bit above average.  We have more saved up and less debt and also DH has a small pension which is a trend of a bygone era. 

For us, our goals were simple.  Pay off our house and credit cards.  See if we could anticipate our budget needs, both bare bones and with a little flesh for wiggle room.  6 months emergency fund.  2 months immediate emergency fund for Oct and Nov - before pension and SS start.  I have our taxes saved up for house/personal property that is due in Oct.  I also have a year of homeowners insurance ready to renew that policy in mid October.  We have gotten everything in the house the way we want it (kitchen flooring and lighting).  No other home improvements for a while.  I have cash to buy a TV for my kitchen and I have paid off our NYC trip.  What else? 

Another way that makes us stand out, is that DH is 13 years older than I and I can and will go back to work.  We have decided that just for the time being, we are going to take a break and see how we do on this reduced budget.  I can start looking in 2019 or 2020.  I don't really care what career track I am on, so I will be fine reinventing myself. 

We have decided we are going to sell our old suburban and my motorcycle.  If we sell my Harley, we may get a small cheaper bike I can hop on just to go to the next town, or just scoot up the road.  The suburban, we will keep that money and save it to eventually replace DH older car.  We are still paying on my Toyota truck, but that fits in budget fine and we need reliable vehicle to be able to drive back to the city to see my Granny.

I am using my last paycheck for spending money in NYC.  I can't think of a more fun way to celebrate that!

Our Last Monday

Before the Israelites arrived in the Promised Land, they spent decades wandering the desert. That’s where God cared for His people so much He provided manna in the morning and quail at night. (Exodus 16:12) But God only provided food six days of the week. Moses said, “Six days you shall gather it, but on the seventh day, which is a Sabbath, there will be none” (Exodus 16:26, ESV). And, “This is what the LORD has commanded: ‘Tomorrow is a day of solemn rest, a holy Sabbath to the LORD … ’” (Exodus 16:23a).

Yesterday was a day of blissful rest.  We went to a friends to watch football.   We took a pizza.  My friend sent us home with enough pulled pork for 3 sandwiches!

Even last night I slept great.   But I sure am grouchy today.  Still fighting this site throat going on 3 weeks now.

But my thoughts this morning are on two things.  How God has always provided for me and how quickly time marches on, making me want to relish in gratitude this morning.  Even as we are counting down the days, we are still aware just how much grace in our lives we have received. 

So, even when I am grouchy.  I have to laugh because I know I need to reign in my inner 5 year old, when things don't go my way.  After all, I did not get bronchitis or even a sinus infection. 

When I read this post I paste above, I had to knock on wood mentally, because while I assume we will have good health the next 3 months (with more rest, relaxation, less stress, less eating out) I certainly could be wrong.  So it is with God's will, we have good health.  And my wish is for any of you who read this to also have good health.

We drove by our old neighborhood yesterday, our favorite neighbors had some mail for us that had not been forwarded.  We got to catch up with them real quick.  We just love these people to bits.  Then we lounged at home and talked about our plans this week.  We decided after dinner wed night we will do the bulk of our room pack up.  Which leaves me time to sleep in Friday, since Thursday is my last day at work. 

What are your plans for this week?

Reading

I am right now finishing up Patti Boyd's memoir,  Wonderful Tonight.  It is pretty interesting,  but I like hearing about early Beatles,  George Harrison and Eric Clapton each wrote songs (two of my favorites ever) about her.  Something and Wonderful Tonight.

I recently finished Burt Reynold's memoir.  It started a bit slow.  Like he was doing a lot of name dropping, but that is essentially how he organized his thoughts.  By person...then I got used to it and enjoyed it.  He is pretty blunt and entertaining.

Sally Field was his one big regret.  He had a few others. 

Now I have put in a hold for Sally Field's memoir!  I can't wait!  Hers looks to be really good.

Another book I am putting on my list: 

Our faith is not a facade we erect to convince ourselves and others that pain doesn’t hurt—it is an oak tree that can withstand the storms of doubt and pain in our lives, and grow stronger through them.
   -The Scars that have Shaped Me
       --Vaneetha Rendall Risner

Going to NFL party today and taking the pup so she can run.

Have a great Sunday!

Free Produce

Last night had dinner with a long time friend, hadnt seen in forever.   Its was delicious and fun catching up.  The place we picked has beautiful patio looking over downtown and the river.   Its finally cooling off, the fire put felt good.   White lights in the trees, yummy dessert.

Got up early and had coffee with my Granny.  Went to bank for her.  Ordered some slippers she found.

Headed back to hotel, walked the dogs.  Since DH did not clean put his office Friday, he did Sat morning.   Took a chair and some other stuff to nephew.  Yay!

Then we drove out to my friends on the country.   Picked bucket full of tomatoes and handful of okra.

And a bucket of apples!  Looked at all his nice trees he has planted.  He has 200 acres.  Thinks he has planted 100.

Home to walk the pup to tire her out some.  Tomatoes and egg salad dinner. 

Good bye summer

My Last Friday at this Job

bank definition: 
/baNGk/ noun: bank; plural noun: banks
1.  The land alongside or sloping down to a river or lake.
"the bank of the great river"
2. a slope, mass, or mound of a particular substance.
"a bank of clouds"
accumulation, pile, heap, mass, drift...
3. a set or series of similar things, especially electrical or electronic devices, grouped together in rows.
"the DJ had big banks of lights and speakers on either side of his console"

My mom used to give us minimal chores to do around the house, esp in the summer.  I would always get up and do mine right away.  My sister would wait until 15 min before my mom would get home from work and do hers as quick as she could.  I was always thinking that I could control my chores or allotment of a resource to maximize it.

When I was little and it was nearing bedtime, I thought I could watch the clock closely and time would actually slow down.  Not just for me - for the universe.  I also thought the chuckwagon in the Chuckwagon Dog Food commercials was real - so what did I know?!

I have been saying goodbyes a lot and I am finding I am running out of time.  So, people calling me to see if they can see us before we leave...no more time...but we are flattered people are thinking of us.  Seems like we had all kinds of time, and now we have tasks practically every day until we get in our 2 cars and leave.  I am trying to manipulate my limited time by being really present in the moment and I have to say...why don't I do this more often?

I should not have waited until a couple of weeks before DH retirement.  But, I am not unique.  I see people all around me shoving as much as they can in each day.  Trying to maximize their limited allotment...of time, money, energy...If you bring up the subject with anyone, they will probably have a similar experience.

I have been trying to have lunch or dinner with an old friend for 9 months.  We are finally getting it done tonight, I think.  I will let you know if it happens.  Crazy.  Why I think I have to stuff as much into each day, inspiration, exercise, coffee with friends, work, errands, hygiene, nutrition, recreation, dog time, husband time, friend connection, social media time, news...I know when I take a few weeks off, I will look back and marvel how I "got so much done".  And how will that measurement translate?  It used to be the measuring stick I measured myself with.  Maybe that is what is truly scary for me about no longer being professionally productive.  I am pretty sure I will still do plenty of "chores" and get some worth from that.  The dark scary unknown place is the hours/days/weeks when I do not...

The reason I was thinking of a bank, is the concept that one can store supplies, or do chores and then have a lull.  I feel like my lull is close.  I left work Wednesday to get the pup a booster shot yesterday during my lunch.  On the way back, it started to hit me.  I feel like I am a little kid who found an unattended cookie jar and I grabbed a couple and now I am sneaking back out to enjoy my bounty in peace and quiet and without anyone to stop me and tell me I can't do it.  I think my husband is starting to feel the same way, because he actually talked about his feelings last night and I was floored.  He never does that.

We rushed to the dog park before it got too dark to let the pup run loose.  It is funny how often I am running somewhere to partake in my recreation/inspiration - that's gotta change!  I have been known to pass people on the way to yoga.  Seems counter productive.

Now, all these people coming out of the woodwork, wanting to see us, do dinner.  It is so fun, but sort of a bit of pressure to "do it all, see everyone".  My work sent me flowers this week and my project manager buying my lunch today.  I am going to lunch at fufu restaurant with 5 people.  Then play with pup.  Tomorrow helping Granny with some banking then picking apples out in the country north east of the city.  Sunday is football game at friends house.  Sunday night is dinner with friends.  Monday night, dinner/going away party...Crazy.

I am going to remember to truly be present.  Wonder if people will notice a difference?  I am glad I do this journaling/blogging because I really want to put all these memories in my "bank".

More Adventures at the Extended Stay

Negative complaining post...warning.  If you need a ray of sunshine, do not read.  Haha. 

I forget to mention that after our dog got bitten, his fur turned black on his bum.  But we looked him over and the skin was not broken, so we let it go.  Well, few weeks later, fur is black and the vet said that happens from injury such as a clamp, sort of like the fur is bruised.  Crazy.  It never seemed to hurt him, fortunately.

So I pull in to hotel last week one day after work and park.  Look in my review view mirror and see this!  What the heck!  We never heard anything about it.  The manager was standing outside later same day and made jokes but would not tell us what happened. 

Then Monday I went to hotel at noon to let pup get out and play a bit, walk outside.  And I see this!

Last night at 1:30 am, the fire alarm is going off.  I hear loud noises across the hall and look out the peep hole.  The door is wide open and there is smoke and someone is fanning a towel and people are stopping outside in the hall looking in the room, talking loudly. 

By the time I get my pants on and clip the pup's leash, they are shouting and laughing.  I can smell plastic-y type smoke.  I wake DH and tell him that I think alarm will stop soon but I am going to go ahead and take pup out to potty.  By the time I open the door the alarm stops, but there are about 20 people - all this same group (they have several rooms on our floor) all standing outside in the hallway talking loudly.  Same thing as I come back in and go back in our room.  I finally went back to sleep around  3am, woke up again 4am, then hard sleep until 5:30 when it is about time to get up.

The thing about sleep disruption constant over time, is I start to anticipate and dread sleep.  I am starting to have a low grade buzzing anxiety all revolving around sleep.  So is DH and so are our dogs.  The Chihuahua's do not even bark anymore at such nonsense.  They are used to it all around us.  The pup was doing so well, well she is now having accidents.  It is almost over, I keep telling myself.

I am just disgusted how rude and filthy people in this hotel are - they smoke right outside the doors, so you have to walk through it, discard their butts everywhere.  People don't pick up their dog doo.  Now there is even a broken bottle out in the grass where people walk their dogs - I just shake my head and want to go to my house and retreat.

So crazy.  Gotta get out of here. 

Concert

We had such a fun date night last night.  My husband and I stayed as late as possible with the dogs and walked them all twice, since we would have to delay their usual 9pm walking.  We were not hungry, so we did not bother to eat out before, we decided to just grab something there.  DH and I have had no appetites since we have had this sinus/sore throat stuff. 

DH had sprung for amazing seats.  He likes us to sit up close and on the end.  We got there way early and had a bite.  It was 95+, but we were at least in the shade. 

Judas Priest was first.  They have 2 original members, Rob Halford vocals and Ian Hill, bass.  Drummer Scott Travis joined later, but still been with them since 1989.  I read in Wikipedia that Scott Travis was responsible for hiring Halford's replacement, Tim "Ripper" Owens in 1996.  This is what the movie Rock Star is loosely based on.  If you haven't seen it, it is really good.  Starring Mark Wahlberg and Ripper.  His girlfriend is Jennifer Anniston in the film.  There is even a cameo of one of my very favorite singers, Myles Kennedy.  Anyway, I ramble.

Rob Halford reunited with JP in 2003.  DH and I flew to see them in Dallas in 2010.  I am fortunate to see them then, with all original members includine K.K. Downing and Glenn Tipton.  Downing left in 2011 and evidently, Tipton recently had to stop touring, because he has Parkinsons.  The sources I looked at did not have the replacement guitar name updated.  JP is known for their dualing guitars, which is somewhat unique.  DH has loved them since the start (1969).  DH says JP got him through the disco years.  along with Ozzy.  Sort of like how Metallica and Rob Zombie got me through the grunge years.

Anyway, DH and I knew right away we had similar musical tastes, which we both fancied because we love rock and roll and esp metal.  We enjoy concerts and plan to continue as long as we are able and can afford a splurge.  On the way home, we talked about some of the acts we would still pay to see...we agree on our bucket list is still Robin Trower - neither one of us has seen him yet. 

Much of my music taste has been shaped by DH and before him, friends I have had.  Also my late husband SCG.  SCG loved Robin Trower and Deep Purple and introduced me to them both (along with Ozzy, Queensryche and Joe Walsh).  I have seen Ozzy 6 times, Queensryche twice and Joe Walsh once.  I could do a weeks worth of posts on concerts.

So I was nostalgic and honored to finally see Deep Purple.

So excited I got to see the Ian's - Ian Gillan and Ian Paice.  Ian Paice is one of my favorite drummers ever.  Just listen to "Burn" sometime and consider the stamina.  He still has it.  He is 70 years old, BTW.  Ian Gillan cannot quite hit the high notes, like he used to, but God love him - that guy is 73!

Very impressed with the great talent of new keyboard player, Don Airey.  Per Wikipedia:  Donald Smith Airey (born 21 June 1948) has been the keyboardist in the rock band Deep Purple since 2002, after the retirement of Jon Lord. He has had a long and productive career, playing with such acts as Gary Moore, Ozzy Osbourne, Judas Priest, Black Sabbath, Jethro Tull, Whitesnake, Saxon, Wishbone Ash, Steve Vai, Colosseum II, Ten, Sinner, Michael Schenker, Rainbow, Empire, Thin Lizzy, Brian May, Divlje jagode and Living Loud. He has also worked with Andrew Lloyd Webber. He was amazing.  DH and I agree we need keyboards to come back in rock and roll.

Also a great artist is Steve Morse.  Steve Morse (born July 28, 1954) is an American guitarist and composer, best known as the founder of the Dixie Dregs; and since 1994, the guitar player of Deep Purple. Morse's career has encompassed rock, country, funk, jazz, classical, and fusion of these musical genres. In addition to his successful solo career, he was briefly a member of Kansas in the mid-1980s. Most recently, Morse became a member of the supergroup Flying Colors alongside long-time bandmate Dave LaRue.  He was great too! 

It was hot!  But a wonderful show in our favorite venue in the entire city.  I was an hour late getting into work today.  Oops.  First time this year.  I am never late to work.

Charlie Pictures

Here is the picture DH saw of Charlie online that the shelter posted.  It made him fall in love with her sweet goofy face.  The 2nd picture is her laying on the bed with me (she sleeps in her bed on the floor all night), but she really does like to cuddle, which is pretty much all we require of our pets. 

Although the Chuhuahuas are great alarm systems.  The bigger pup rarely barks, which is weird for us.  After having yappy dogs, this quiet one is very different.  Third picture is all 3 dogs.

Today I am going home early from work to walk the pup and get her good and tired, because we are going to a concert tonight.  We have had these tickets for at least 6 months though, so we are going to make it.  DH needs a fun night. 

I almost would rather not go, even though one of bands I have never seen and they are legendary - Deep Purple.  Although we will miss seeing them with Jon Lord (organ) and Ritchie Blackmore (guitar), I feel fortunate indeed to see Ian Pace, Ian Gillan and Roger Glover.  Ian Pace is truly a force on the drums, Glover is bass and Ian Gillan is vocals.  Gillan is one of the first to bring the dramatic, operatic type of singing that compliments metal and was Ronnie James Dio worthy - replacing him in Black Sabbath for a time.

I really can't wait!

Ceiling Fan Project

I wish I had taken before photos. 

I happened to get a shot of the entire ceiling fan in one of the guest bedrooms from a while back, so I just enlarged it to show the fan.  Both rooms (pretty small) had this giant ceiling fan/light combo set up.  I rarely use overhead lights.  I prefer lamps.  But it is good to have the overhead light for emergency/finding something/vacuuming or some other projects once in a while.  So, I did not want to remove the lights altogether and cap the end, which would have been easier.  Replacing them would have been easier too, but much more expensive.  I spent about $20 for paint and globes.

Instead, I just wanted to remove the middle "row" of 4 lights from each fan.  I needed new globes for both.  I used the globes in other fans in my house where I needed large 100w equiv LED bulbs.  These 100W equiv LED bulbs are too big for a closed globe, which is all I was able to find these days for these 20+ year old fans.  So, I moved these 2 open globes to master bath fan and utility room fan, where I needed bright lighting.

I put new closed glass globes ($7.00 each) on the bedroom fans, since I could get away with 60w equiv LED bulbs.  DH helped me remove the "row" of lights and we rewired just for the single light.  Before I replaced the light to ceiling fan, I painted the fans, the blades and the light housing a flat white.  I don't mind the brass I have all over my house, but for these ceiling fans in small rooms, I thought the flat white might blend in better with the ceiling and minimize them, so I painted the brass flat white, along with the rest of the fan/light.

I got my inspiration from a blogger whose blog I just love.  "In My Own Style".  Diane Henkler.  https://inmyownstyle.com/the-easy-way-to-paint-a-ceiling-fan.html
Here are the before and both afters. 

Have a wonderful Monday!

Love

Love is what we are born with.  Fear is what we learn.  The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts.  Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth.
   -Marianne Williamson

We drove back back to the city this afternoon.  The last trip to city while working.  Ladt time we have to listen to our NFL coverage on car radio!

But it's all good.  DH rode in back seat with Charlie and her large bed.  She was pretty relaxed.  She is still fearful of car rides, probably because previously it has meant rides to shelter and vet. 

She also learned how to walk upstairs today.   I took her on 3 walks today, she is doing well on leash.   She is tired tonight.

Talk to you all again Monday

Projects

Besides having a new pup and 2 not thrilled chihuahuas, I cored and froze 6 gallons of apples and painted 2 ceiling fans.

I will post photos Monday of the ceiling fan project.  I had put this off as long as I could.  Was sort of a pain, so glad I finished.

We drove to retirement home Friday just in time to pick up Charlie from the shelter.  She is doing really well.  She is very submissive to the chihuahuas, so they are tolerating her.

She slept on the floor next to my side of the bed.  I have walked her 3 times, twice with our female chi.  Charlie takes instructions well.  Is really sweet temperament.

DH folks met her and she impressed them with her calm personality.

DH and I are still sick, so we are otherwise resting and having ice cream (ice coconut substitute for me).

Stay cool everyeveryone, it was mid 90's here in the south today!  Lordy be.  And my heart goes out for all you on the east coast.

Charlie Update

I called yesterday to the shelter near our retirement home to check on our new rescue dog we are adopting - Charlie.  She got all her shots and was spayed Tuesday.  The woman I spoke with said she is doing very well.  It is like nothing at all happened to her.  Pups bounce back quick.  DH cannot wait to meet her and I cannot wait to see her and give her love. 

I found a pet sitter through Rover app that will take her all day during the days we have to work these last 2 weeks.  So, that is quite a relief.  DH and I are going to stop back by and meet him, introduce Charlie to him Sunday.  Then Monday on my way to work, I will take Charlie there and pick her up on my way back home.

I am now coughing, have low back pain.  My head is very congested, but I am still free of sinus infection.  DH is worse.  DH has also had some dental procedures on top of this.  Poor DH.  DH has had 3 colds in less than 3 months here, I have had 2.  I have not been sick in the past 4 years before this stay - DH even longer.

If it were not for picking up our new doggy, we prob would stay in the city this weekend.  Oh well, that is the way it is.  DH bringing back our large SUV anyway to clean out his office and our hotel room.  I assured him I could get all the stuff in hotel in our car/truck (didn't need SUV) but he thought otherwise.  I am moving most of our our cooking tools/ingredients this weekend.  Last weekend I moved my smoothie blender and ingredients.  I am taking 2 lamps, rug and some clothes to goodwill.  And I am giving most of our Tupperware and 2 giant throw pillows to my co worker friend.  Must of our toiletries we have used up, so will throw out bunch of barely left sfuff.  I will do this on Friday 9/28 while DH has his going away lunch at work.

I put in my 2 week notice yesterday.  I asked the support manager in charge of my unit please no speech, no donuts.  I would be uncomfortable.  He said he really wanted to something since I had been here so long, 8 years.  I laughed and corrected him.  No, I have been here almost 11 years!  He acquiesced about the recognition. 

I am going to lunch next Friday with a couple co workers.  And Thurs the 27th, we are having a happy hour for about 15-20 of us that I actually know.  Then, next morning, I can clear room out while DH finishes up.  Today I am calling my actual boss, I emailed her yesterday.  She is in Chicago.  I am going to ask again, whether any opportunity for working from home.  Prob not but I will at least ask again. 

Can't believe we are this close!

Hurricane Florence

My hearts go out to all the people in the path of Florence.  So awful.  On the national news last night they showed bare food shelves, long lines a the home improvement stores and faces of scared people and animals.  We don't have hurricanes in the Midwest, obviously.  I have never been through anything like that.  I have been praying all week.

Last year I remember how bad the hurricanes were for Houston area and Puerto Rico.  I just hope and pray this one won't be so bad. 

During Katrina I was on a road trip from Scottsdale, AZ to Telluride, CO.  It was a weird trip.  I was with a person I was trying to help, so it was fraught with anxiety.  I drove all the way to Scottsdale by myself and I cannot even remember that part at all, I was so tired and stressed out.  I remember the top of my Honda convertible being down most of the way and I was listening to Alterbridge.  I had seen Myles Kennedy sing with the former members of Creed in a small club in KC and had loved him.  So, I pretty much wore the album One Day Remains out that trip.  It was summer of 2005.

After I picked up my friend in Scottsdale, we drove in our shorts and flip flips almost due north to Colorado.  By the time we got to Telluride, it was in the 50's and we had to buy shoes and long pants/sleeves.  It was probably the Sunday of Labor Day weekend when Katrina was raging in the Gulf when we got to Telluride.  I recall it because it tore me out of my own reverie. as we watched the news.

I remember Katrina also because we knew some friends from KC who were in New Orleans that weekend. 

They were kept safe in their hotel until the storm passed.  But as the surge came, the flooding was so bad.  Power went out.  No food, no water.  Our friends had stocked up as well as they could.  Carried what they could and started walking to Interstate 10.  They left all their bags and carried food and water.  They had people approach them asking for food or water.  My friends were scared.  They said no.

My friends got more scared.  As they were walking along I-10, a young man stopped to pick them up.  He was driving to Houston where he was a student.  To fit my friends in the car (4 of them), this young man removed some items from his car.  He drove these 4 total strangers to Houston.  They eventually caught a plane back to KC.

My friend and I eventually got back to KC.  Colorado was beautiful.  I had never been there before.  Driving a convertible through the mountains was amazing. 

My friend and I parted ways soon after Labor Day of 2005.  I could not help him, only he could help himself.  I had to help myself.  We can help each other, but only so much and only if they are willing to receive it.  My friend died a few years later.
 
So, while I was never involved in a hurricane directly, they bring back some powerful memories.  Dear Lord, please give comfort to those who are worried and care to those in danger.  People and animals alike.  Please let our country come together and help each other and feel love for mankind.  Amen.

16 Days

This is a picture my girlfriend took of me driving us back to the city Sunday.  Yes, I am one of those people.  At least when DH is not in the car with me and can take our little female on his lap. 

Fall is in the air here in the Midwest.  And we have 16 more days.  I was thinking about the changing of the seasons and realize as we are going into fall this year, we are sort of going into the "fall" of our lives. 

I lived in Arizona for a couple years.  I missed the seasons there.  It was relentlessly hot.  Danerously hot.  Unforgivingly hot.  The scenery is mostly brown.  Lots of rocks and small shrubs dot the desert as you drive into town. 

It was 1999 and I drove into town with my dog and cat.  My significant other drove me out from Little Rock and stayed.  I had transferred with my job, so the movers would deliver my stuff.  I just had to unpack.  My convertible was brought out on a car carrier.  I rented a duplex.  It was weird having rocks for a yard.  I had grass in the back with olive and eucalyptus trees.  It smelled different.  There were also these large brown birds that sang weird songs that was really different from anything I experienced in the Midwest. 

I had a stressful job.  On weekends I liked to explore the area for relaxation.  Once I hiked with my boyfriend at South Mountain park.  We both took water and had sunscreen, hats, etc.  But how naïve we were.  We also had my dog with us.  My beautiful Golden Retriever.  My second Golden.  

We started out in the morning.  They trail we chose was downhill and back up.  I started to dread the hike back up.  Boyfriend decided he would give me the last of the water and I would go back to car with the dog and pick him up at bottom.  Thinking back I am not sure why we split up that day.  It does not sound like my idea.  He was a little impulsive and immature - that was the reason we broke up not long after.  I don't blame him for this day, I was stupid and unprepared too.

Anyway, I start back to the car.  It was just over the rise, I thought.  Water was running low, it was getting hotter.  My dog crept along and kept sticking his head in the shadows of the large boulders and small bushes that make up South Mountain landscape.  I thought to myself how awful I felt putting my dog through this.

I kept walking.  I started to wonder if I was lost.  The scenery all looked the same.  I kept topping each hill and more hills stretched out before me.  My had started feeling too small and I was feeling the sun burning my shoulders.  My sunglasses were sweaty and I had to keep pushing them up.  My mind started racing.

Pretty soon I started to feel panic creep in.  I wondered if I could carry my dog the rest of the way.  He was panting and seemed very focused on any shade he could put his head in.  I alternated thinking how stupid I was and how scared I was.  I could not believe what was happening.  I had never been lost before.  I grew up in the woods in the Midwest, where trees are tall and there are landmarks.

About the time I was wondering what to do and was on the verge of complete hopelessness, I topped a rise and spotted the parking lot and my car!  I never felt so much relief.  There was a while cinderblock building that contained bathrooms.  I ran in but there was no water coming out of the faucets.

I got in the car and blasted the ac to cool my dog down.  I retraced the drive we had taken into the park.  I saw boyfriend and picked him up.  He too had been hot and worried at the end.  He was quick to laugh and dismiss. 

I will never forget that day.  It was in late May, which is late to hike in Phoenix.  I also heard many times in the years I lived there that many people from back east/Midwest who are not accustomed to the heat/landscape die making mistakes like we made. 

I am so grateful that was not my fate that day.

Forgive

Colossians 3:13
13  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Sure is easier to figure out someone elses issues - like deciding they need to forgive.  Hahaha.  But harder when I look at my own quandary.  But forgiving is actually better for ourselves too.  Not to is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to get sick.  I see a lot of people around who need to forgive, so I am going to work on that myself.  Couple of people have disappointed me lately but I cannot control people, places, situations. 

Another person who (actually 2) who have voiced such feelings to me I wanted to say "it is not always about you".  So, maybe that is where I can start!  The other thing I pointed out is look at the positives.  One person is grieving a breakdown about family - this person going through a really hard time right now.  But she had 4 people who dropped everything to be there for her and she was focused on the ones that were missing. 

Great workout last night and coffee with friends.  To bed early, allergies affecting me - sore throat.  Slept great - thank goodness the stompers were quiet last night as were the people directly across the hall.  DH had dental procedure yesterday, so he needed the rest also.

I really do need to do a little drifting.  Just enough to put on my own oxygen mask.  Just in time for a few friends I have in my life who I still love, but I just find lacking.  I will drift quietly, not burn the bridge in huge dramatic fashion as of bygone life. 

Maybe it has nothing to do with me, or everything.  I don't need to figure it out.

Charlie

So this happened Saturday.  We have been looking a few weeks at pictures of possible 3rd dog to adopt.  DH found this one very close to our home.  Asked me to go see her while I was there for girls' weekend.  I really liked her.  Very sweet.  So, we signed the papers.

She will be spayed this week and we get her Friday.  Guess we will just make it work for 2 weeks either with her in our hotel room, or have her board for 2 weeks.  Guess boarding her 2 weeks is not the end of the world.  Not much diff than being in the shelter.  It is not ideal, but as soon as we get her home, we will spoil her rotten. 

She won the doggy lottery.  Her name is Charlie.  For our trip to NYC, we have secured a house sitter coming for the Wed through Sunday.

Have a great Monday.  I need more coffee.  I have splitting headache from ragweed, but at least it is cooling outside now.  I love that.

Pain

Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am in distress.  Tears blur my eyes.  My body and soul
are withering away"
     ---Psalm 31:9

Just back from girls' weekend.   It was nice.  Lots of history there.  2 girls I have known since kindergarten and 2 since 3rd grade.

After back to city, went to help Aunt.  Uncle not doing well.  Aunt had some issues with her house.  Her sister also there.  Aunt really tired and worried.  Glad to be of service to her.  But by the Grace of God go I...

Praying tonight

Mom's Pillow

My mom cross stitched a pillow that says "When things look down, look up".  I treasure it.  It reminds me of the simple homespun advice she used to give me.  Happiness is a state of mind.  Then I grew wiser and more worldly and decided her advise was oversimplified.  And I had more education and more experience that my mom.  My inner message of victimhood versus state of mind was easier than self accountability and bolstered by headlines and advertisements.  Headlines about people doing stupid things and suing people and advertisements about medicine you could take to make you happy.  You don't have to do the hard work - blame someone else...take a pill!

And then I turned another corner.  I started really looking at my place in how my life is experienced and realized much of how I feel really is up to me.  I am not saying that medication is unnec or a sign of weakness.  But I would rather try medicine as a holistic approach.  Try other things too, like exercise, eating right, rest and cleaning my side of the street.  Sometimes life is not just about who is at fault. 

As life hands us challenges, we learn we don't have to face it alone. 

From my daily Proverbs 31 ministries devotion.
How often do we turn our gaze inward and overlook the beauty our heavenly Father has prepared for us? How often do we concentrate on the things of this world instead of turning our eyes to what’s truly important?  If you’re like me, when it seems like joy has left the building, I need to remind myself often of what’s true: “This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24).
     -KariAnn Wood

Burt Reynolds died at 82 yesterday.  He seemed like a fun loving, superficial guy who had everything handed to him.  But he wanted to be a foot ball player and was injured.  He had a slow start in acting.  He overcame his own obstacles, like we all have.  He used humor as a way to interact with the world.  Which I relate to.  I admired his roles in his light, funny movies.  And sort of feel like he reminded me a little of my dad.  My dad was a handsome, mustachioed guy's guy who also went through life thinking he had the world by string and had people admire him for the twinkle in his eye.  I can see why my mom loved my dad so much and stuck with him.

Patton Oswald, the comedian tweeted yesterday "Burt Reynolds & Clint Eastwood were fired from Gunsmoke & Rawhide at the same time.  Burt was told he couldn't act and Clint was told his neck was too skinny.  In the parking lot, Burt said to Clint.  'I dunno know what you're gonna do, but I'm gonna take acting lessons' ". 

God moves mountains, but you better bring a shovel.  Do the hard work, but do it with style and humor. 

BR said "All you really have in the end are your stories".  I am going to make some fun stories this weekend.  I hope you do too! 

I still want a 1977 Trans Am.

We Are Trying

I am wanted to open the door and scream at the people across the hall.  The last 2 nights the people  who share several rooms on  the 2nd floor of the hotel congregate in the room directly across from ours.  We can hear them for well into the wee hours and last night it was ridiculous.  They were in there cheering.  It sounded like a WalMart associates pep meeting where people rah rah rah.  Crazy.  I sat up and looked at the clock, it  said 2:40.  This was after I was already woke up at 11:38.  So I lay back down and I hear a knock.  I look out our peep hole.  The night hotel clerk is telling them to be quiet.  They are bothering other guests too. 

Then I woke again at 4am and it was quiet.  Finally got some good sleep between 4 and 6.  When I walked the dog at 6:05, two of them were standing out in the hall.  What?!  I realize they are young, but how do these people function with no sleep?!

The weeds are so tall around the hotel where we walk the dogs that our little female had a tick and so did my husband.  Speaking of weeds, I heard from the yard mower that he mowed and is coming back to mow again Sat.  Good luck, is supposed to rain from the hurricane moving up through the Mississippi Valley.  I forwarded text to DH.  When I got home, he said his folks also drove by and observed our yard.  They said it looks pretty bad still.  Great.

Yesterday was my SIL birthday.  We left her a card when we saw them and cooked dinner for them Sat.  She is so tired of the politics in our little town, that she is retiring early - end of December.
I went by and saw my uncle in the hospital last night.  He looks ok.  In a lot of pain.  He fell, broke several bones.  Has fluid in lungs, they drained in procedure - still has a drain.  He was very loopy on pain meds and Ativan.  I took my aunt to dinner.  We talked about diff stuff like death and wills, assisted living, family.  Wow.  Life is so precious.

Have a wonderful Thursday.  I got home last night and gave my DH a big hug.

More Letting Stuff Go, Literally and Figuratively

Took a load to Goodwill last weekend and another monday.

I still have a lot to go, but plenty of time.  All our stuff is basically fitting into our house, barn and shop.  I even have some areas that are not full, so I can work out where stuff logically can be kept.  I still have too much stuff though.  I am not sure DH feels the same way!  Go figure! 

Part of what we disagree with is cars and toys.  He thinks more is better with most things.  I used to live that way too.  Still do, but I am changing.  So, I understand that I will have better luck doing and letting him follow along. 

I have told him that I am ready to sell my motorcycle.  He took it better than I thought.  I did mention I was pretty much ready, but I would not do anything until spring.  It is a street cruiser and I am just not really into it anymore.  I for sure do not see us doing any more touring.  This cruiser is not really appropriate for long trips.  But I can do short trips on it.  I really don't have that desire now.  I told DH I would wait until spring to decide for sure.  I think we should be completely moved and settled in first before I sell it.  I can think about it over the winter. 

Do you all have something that you think of getting rid of or have gotten rid of that was difficult?  I hope you will comment.

I broke down and joined a gymn literally next building over from the hotel - for one month!  It is just getting dark so early, rainy and not fun anymore to walk over where I used to live.  I worked out last night on the elliptical and treadmill while it was dark and rainy outside.  I really enjoyed the relief.  I did 5 miles!

Today it is rainy still (is good - we need it) and I am planning on yoga tonight.  Although I got a puzzling message from the yoga studio last week asking if I paid.  I paid instructor directly instead of having the office deduct from my credit card and they said it was not put in the lock box.  I never heard anything more.

That reminds me...I have paid $70 a week to have our retirement house mowed this summer.  He is slow to cash the checks.  The last 2 I wrote were from early August.  I asked him - he said he is just slow to cash them.  Well, he has not mowed the last 2 weekends we were down so I texted Friday - he said "I will be there tomorrow".  Nothing.  Sunday nothing.  So I call Monday - no answer and his cell won't allow messages.  I texted...nothing.  So I texted this morning asking for him to please respond...ugggghhhhh.

I am so tired of relaying on other people to help me do things THAT I PAY HANDSOMELY FOR.  These are the people that are going to come back and kill me aren't they?  I watch way too much true crime shows.  Hahahaha.  I can't rant and rave like a lunatic, but boy it sure is frustrating.  Geez people.  I want what I want.  Now (stomps foot). 

I am practicing light and love.  Hahaha.  Light and love...and authority.  It is a fine line. 

There's a fine line between clever and stupid.
     --Spinal Tap

I am rambling - have a great Wednesday!

Kitchen lights are done!

The before kitchen I showed before.  Here are pictures again. 

We finally got our under cabinets lighting and it absolutely changes the whole space.  Even DH was so impressed, he has mentioned it a couple of times.  I used my new kitchen lighting twice over the weekend.  Sat to fix dinner for his family and again Monday morning, I made DH and I a wonderful brunch before we went back to the city. 

You really truly get to know how a kitchen layout is going to work for you when you cook in it and my lighting and layout just worked like a dream.  It is the nicest kitchen I have ever lived in and I just love it.  Of course, I have never had white cabinets.  So ask me in another 10 years!

Now back to the grind to help pay for all my kitchen dreams!  The only other thing we are going to do is new counters/under mount sink and new faucet.  My BIL told me Saturday that we can actually leave the pretty wood edges and have the laminate pried out and granite or quartz inlaid.  The material is much less expensive, but is the labor more.  Anyone out there any experience with this?  We had no idea this was possible.  I will be doing to some research.  But I am in no hurry.  I am sick of construction muss and fuss and expense.

Have a wonderful rest of your week!

 

Inspiration

Happy Labor Day!

The prayer of a good person has a powerful effect.
     ---James 5:16

I listen to inspirational pod casts.  In one I heard that boundary-less families make family members feel like they are responsible for others' emotions.  I grew in in this crucible.   I have learned differently.

Back to my word of the year...abide.  I will abide with God and I will choose daily mindfulness.  Being present and grateful  is something I am working on.  I do not have the power to control,  help, fix others.  It also means they are not responsible to me and my expectations are not too high.

And I also heard that young people who have family trauma, like addiction or neglect, choose to feel like victims.  Feeling like a victim can be a cycle.  Being a victim is another manifestation of or obstacle to humility.  I have no self esteem, so let me show you how smart, pretty, successful, bad-assed I am...No room for humiity in that cycle...

I am grateful for electricity, and for ac.  It is still 90s here.  Uggggh.

Yesterday we were on a beautiful golf course.   This evening I am in a disgusting extended stay...evidently they are with limited electricity and  no hot water or cable...but at we still have electricity.

Gratitude

I have been getting a lot of bad news last few weeks/months.  My cousin who I love dearly diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, given months to live.  My grandmother is 99 years old, her SIL is 94.  My FIL has declined, he is 84 and really slowing way down.  My uncle is also 84 and just fell, fracturing his hip.  My BIL diagnoses with lymphoma - he is stable and not being treated.  My good friend, N, diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  My nephew in a horrible car accident.  I struggle with the doubt and fear.  What do I do? 

Feel gratitude.  My sister and I lost our mom at 24 and 19.  My late mother has 2 sisters that we love.  My uncle always welcomed us to come visit.  He was like a hero in my eyes.  He still is.  My grandmother has lived to the incredible old age of 99.  Her SIL is like another grandmother to me...and still alive.  Her daughter has lived a colorful, interesting life - many things I can relate to.  I feel close to her and cherish her.  I am watching my nieces and nephew grow and get their education, have careers, make choices, get married, learn lessons...My friends are starting to have losses, but if anyone can beat the C word, N can!  And my friend T getting out of jail soon!

I have in laws today that I love like my own blood relatives.  I am going to be able to live close to them and help DH care for them and be there for them. 

As I sit here and type, it is easy to feel gratitude.  To remember to give credit for these surpluses!  The original negative thoughts I had are natural.  Thank you Jesus