Saturday, April 9, 2022

Stressfull last month and a half

So, my husband suffers from chronic back pain.  Had surgery in 2009 and it helped for a while, then over time one who have had back surgery, including any type of fusion of the vertibrae, the movement can translater more to the level above and below.  Along with normal age related degeneration that is unavoidable...one has more problems and pain.  This and the fact that my husband is not terribly health conscious and does not stretch or walk - he is aging poorly.

Well, we had a family member who had a morphine pump installed and it did wonders for his pain, my husband went through all the pain protocol and tried everything and finally decided he wanted that also.  He had the pain pump installed under his skin in Nov.  He has lots of problems just with that procedure, then it took several weeks to heal and get the medication level right.  Then about 6 weeks ago, after I got home from Texas...he was walking to the bathroom early in the morning and fell and had a huge gooseegg on his left upper forehead.  I ran into help him and saw that his head was bleeding and huge bump...I helped him off the floor back onto the bed.  He was crying out in pain.  I took him to the hospital...

I was concerned about his head injury, but not only did he hurt his low back, now he had shoulder and neck pain.  They did films of all...come to find out - he had 2 neck fractures!  So crazy.  So, they put him in a very stiff neck brace and released him to follow up with a neurosurgeon.  Cut to 5 weeks after that, they have done more films, recommend MRI (did this past week - still waiting on results).  And has to wear the brace 2 more months!  And it gives him severe anxiety and depression.  And now we wait to see if he has to have surgery.

Just wanted to check in and jot down some thoughts.  Has been very difficult, the depression and anxiety is the worst, i know he will eventually heal his neck and stablize his back (please Jesus).  But I just feel so helpless.  Meanwhile, I am working the same crazy 60 hours and now it is mowing season.  We have a large yard...1 acre we mow.  I did the entire yard last weekend by myself and it was not too bad...so I feel that is doable.  I am not going to have a garden or flowers in pots this year to also take care of.  

I am trying to streamline things around the house and minimize, get rid of even more clutter/unnec stuff and just put one foot in front of the other.  The prospect of caring from this house, 4 dogs, the yard, my job...it gets overwhelming at times, but i just take a deep breath and know I can do it and remember how grateful I am for a warm home, a loving partner and dogs i enjoy, good friends and extended family.

Well, I will try to come back and write down more to help process everything.  I hope everyone out there is doing well and dealing with whatever things life is throwing at you with patience, love, and prayer...deep breath, some sort of inspiration and gratitude...and a little humor.

Thanks for reading.