Would Rather be at Work

I would rather be at work than spend my time as I did yesterday.  And as a temp, that is saying something. 

Sorry to repeat, but I am tired.  Was relaxing this last weekend with my husband watching some TV, looking forward to my long weekend/day off on Monday.  10pm Sunday I got a text from a relative indicating that another relative had serious symptoms and was in the hospital.  Texter was going to bed, that was all they knew (the relative texting me was in another state).  The next morning, I followed up and learned that my relative in the hospital had 2 masses, one in her lung and one in her brain.

So, I went and visited patient Monday afternoon when she was visited by 2 doctors.  One a Radiology Oncologist and one a Neurosurgeon.  There she was laying in her bed after hearing that she had these 2 masses that morning.  I tried to just be with her and help her process and then after the doctors came, I wrote down notes and prepared as best I could to pass this information along to her son who had gone to talk to the patient's 90+ year old mother.  Patient and her mother are close to my DGM and I.  Neither doctor would say it was cancer, but the oncologist said it was "cancer looking".  The neurosurgeon tells us the mass in her brain is so large, they want to remove it surgically Wednesday.  This information is relayed and we are all in shock and family from 4 states are mobilizing.  I am close to another family member that flew in to be there for surgery yesterday, so she is staying with us and driving one of our cars.  I told her it was my way of helping. 

We spent the evening Tues night seeing patient and then went back Wed morning.  I took Wed off, but plan to finish working Thurs and Friday.  I do not have benefits for days off.  No work, no pay.  After she went to surgery, we went to spend some time with her mother.  We came back in time to learn patient was through brain surgery (took about half the time they initially told son) and waiting for a bed in ICU.  Son was still home cleaning and doing daily chores/resting.  So, neurosurgeon talked to us.  It was surreal when neurosurgeon told us that the tumor did not have definite margins where it was next to the brain, so he had to essentially cut it out of the brain to be sure he got it all.  Then he indicated that she was conscious and was responding and showing signs of moving her eyes to the right ok, but not to the left as well.  He said the brain area where the tumor was involved eye movement.  He said this may or may not be permanent.  He apologized to us for that, and said he did the best he could do.  He did unofficially say that he thought it was metastatic carcinoma (i.e. tissue in brain was cancer that came from the lung). The next steps/treatment plan/prognosis would come from cancer team.  I have felt like crying, but it does not come.  What has come is literally an overwhelming sense of exhaustion and my cousin really hit the nail on the head when she explained this is really only the beginning...(of a difficult battle).