Final Wayfair Share

 

This weekend I got to see the coffee table I had ordered that DH has assembled while I was working last week.  We were a little disappointed that the bottom shelf panels were missing, but a quick email indicated they would be mailed to us soon.  I realize these things happen, but why don't they mail them back with the same communication/urgency of the original order?  The tabletop had a divet out of it that we tried to patch, but it still did not look great and we were afraid it would not hold up over time - I requested that be replaced too and it has been nearly 2 weeks!  So, for small inexpensive items, mail order has been fine (plus I wanted 3 very specific and small things).  Most furniture you see in retail stores is 1)  expensive!  and 2)  huge.

I am overall happy to get exactly what I want, fairly inexpensive and be a little patient/put them together. 

This was after I got home from the city Thursday evening and turned around and rode back with my sister.  I really should have stayed home, I was exhausted to the point of needed to nap.  Which is not like me.  We did learn when we stopped to visit our Granny that she is moving.  From an independent living apartment to another closer to her daughter.  She was afraid we would be mad, I don't really understand why she thought I would be mad, I guess because she was not moving closer to me.  I never expected that.  Anyway, she insists on hiring a moving truck (she does not have much, will be $900).  I am grateful for that, because otherwise even though we have cousins in the city, DH and I would have done the majority of the work.  This way my sister and I can take a couple days to help unpack and make her place more of a home.  We are honored to help her.

My aunt and unle were so thrilled at my sister's gift of a call-button system.  Very proud and happy.  Nice that my sister can do that for them.  We had a nice lunch with them Sat before we drove back.  So, I was home Sat night, Sunday and Monday.  My sister and I also enjoyed a nice dinner with my girlfriends from the city T and D.  We haven't kept up with D as much, she does not really keep in touch much either, is busy with her grandkids.  Frankly talks about them non stop.  She still indicated she wanted to come down to our house.  Not without T, I will just have to put it off maybe.
Sunday DH and I mowed and looked at 2 for sale houses in our little town with smaller yards.  One house over priced and needed a $5000 - $8000 wood fence replaced - PLUS it had 7 giant cut off stumps in the yard - a fairly small yard.  It had been gutted and remodeled beautifully, but lacked these 2 huge items for us - and overpriced.  The other house was brand new - very pretty and I really loved the layout - tiny yard which is ok for us.  But it was REALLY small (not that I care).  Just not sure we are ready to downsize that much this quick. 

Then Monday we looked at 2 larger homes 1 old 1 new in nearby higher traffic area.  One had a nice view, the other did not.  Both smaller yards - 1 mostly rock.  DH really hating our huge yard and the mowing.  I offer to do the mowing, he is not willing to have his wife do all the mowing - so it is a quandary for us, somewhat.  We may consider finding room in our budget to hire someone, but it would be $70/week!  We will see.

One thing this looking has shown us - we are essentially on the same page - we just want cozy home, to enjoy each other and reduce our focus on stuff.  However, I have been feeling this pull for about 5 years -to reduce my stuff and he seems new to the change - although surprises me sometimes.  Actually 2 things, we both really do feel the happy goal of making sure the other person is happy and satisfied where we are in life and in our retirement...more broadly, in our life journey. 

I told DH last night as we were relaxing before I had to get to bed early to get up at 3:45 am - I just care about him, not what we have or where we live.  Plus - we really do love our house.  So, we will probably stay put and enjoy all we have done on the house.  It has been quite a summer indeed.

August is out of here

Can't believe that August is almost over.  This summer has flown by.  I guess that happens when you are really busy.  I made it through yoga class last night even though my friend, T was having leg pain and didn't make it.  She is having bad Charlie-horse type cramping pain and has for a while!  Poor T, I hope she can get some answers and find some relief.

I usually treat myself to a bought smoothie Wednesdays after I do yoga.  I make my own on Tues night and most days at noon, that is all I have - smoothie for lunch.  I am tired just thinking about tomorrow - I am going home tonight, unpack and do load of laundry, sleep in my own bed...then tomorrow I ride back up here with my sister for her to visit our granny and see aunt/uncle.  My sister is fixing up aunt/uncle with an I've-fallen-and-can't-get-up button - she works for one of these companies in neighboring state and can monitor it herself.  My granny has one too.

I noticed yesterday when looking at my granny's bank account that she has a large debit coming out of her checking - I called her to let her know we are coming noonish Friday to visit and she said we would talk about the transaction I referenced tomorrow.  I think she must have put down a deposit to move closer to her daughter and probably dreads telling me because she knows that my husband and I will do most of the work moving her - but I just want her to be happy.  She will second guess and feel like she has picked lesser of two evils - but when we moved her up here 5 years ago - who would have guessed she would arrive and fly past 100 with flying colors?!  Moving her where we did was the best choice at that time.  Moving again is part of life - we will get it done.  I will assure of all these things.  Of course, we would prefer she move south to be closer to us - but I understand she wants to be near her daughter/my aunt.  If my grandmother outlives her daughter, she will move to our state.

Anyway.  DH put together the last piece of furniture I bought - a cute white coffee table with storage.  He said it was like 25 pieces to put together.  And he discovered the drawer bottoms were missing!  UGH.  I sent an email this morning to Wayfair and supposedly they will send the missing panels.  I will let you know.

I will be back home Sat evening.  While we are up here, my sister and I are having a nice meal at our favorite shopping area in the city with a couple of my girlfriends who were planning to come down this weekend - but ended up having to cancel because T has an event Saturday with charity she is involved with.  So, I said I would come to them.  Now I dread it because I am so tired.

I think the fatigue I am feeling lately is a combination of my driving and working in the city away from DH now for the entire summer, along with some extra running around I have done because of my 2 classmates dying.  So, I am trying to get extra rest and eat well.  Limit my caffeine and junk - eat lots of colorful veggies and fruit.  Lean meat.  No sugar added smoothies.  I have about 6 more weeks and then I will have some much needed downtime. 

DH and I were thinking of going somewhere in Oct.  But I am leaning toward not doing much for Oct and Nov, I need to rest. 

I hope all of you are looking forward to a wonderful Labor Day weekend!

Tuesday Tired

This is the view from my home, from age 4 to about age 10.


Had a great weekend.  Celebrated my cousin's birthday at the lake Saturday.  Swam at the pool, then pizza in clubhouse, watched football.  It was fun.  Then Sunday went to the other side of the lake to see our friend N, sick with cancer.  I should say, be present for N.  We did not even know if we would see him, he is very ill.  But we did lend support to his girlfriend and my friend from Florida, J and his wife, T, they brought mower up and mowed his yard.  I weed eated and watered the animals, played with their pup. 

We stayed Sunday night with our friend, C who was just widowed July.  It was very hot.  I spent time with my girlfriend B while C was working.  We drove around our old hometown and reminisced.  Before I picked her up, I did the cemetery tour, my mom, grandfather and great uncle.  It was peaceful.  The cicadas are going crazy, tells me thought its hot...summer winding down. 
Was depleted driving back to city.  Made it safe, showered and had a snack with my aunt while we watched TV then bed.  Lots of work today.

I miss DH and my dogs.  2.5 more days.

Back Home, then Work

Well, we got back home to my state Monday at 9:30am.  We left Arizona at 1:30pm.  My counsin's wedding was beautiful.  It was great to be able to spend time with family and friends of hers I knew and to meet distant relatives I had not met yet.  I met couple more of her friends from Colorado.  They were so nice, and a lot of fun.  Cousin and her groom seem really happy and in love.  I hope for her to have a wonderful marriage and feel unity with this man and security and grounded. 

We left Wed morning at 11am, got out there early Thurs morning.  We went through the upper east side of Arizona and got to see some elk and deer.  We saw some breath taking landscape.  We had all afternoon Thurs and Friday to help the bride and get some fun in the sun.  We had good food, got some good rest and thoroughly enjoyed it all.

My cousin rode with me.  She drove a bit of the time.  I was pretty nervous riding with her, but she was very helpful (can see better at night than I can).  For reasons I won't go into...but anyway.  We got back and she went on home to the city (she slept approx. 7 hours in the car).  I went home and sleep all afternoon, woke up and ate dinner with DH.  Then back to bed early last night.  I got up and drove to the city for work this morning early.

I really miss DH and our dogs.  Dogs were clinging to me.  DH misses me a lot.  This is going to be a long summer.  At least I had a yummy salad for lunch, made with lettuce out of our garden.  Have a great Tuesday evening!

Friday Finally

To stop and smell the roses this week, I went to bed early every night (except last night), went to yoga twice and visited my DGM.  Yoga last night was just my friend T and I with our instructor.  He has been teaching us since 2012.  Last night he told us how well we  are doing.  I was shocked, he is not a talker  I replied that I felt and saw changes in myself that I know are from yoga and that is all I need.  It was good doing yoga twice this week, I want to walk 4 -5 times a week and do yoga 2-3 times when we retire.  I told DH that while I was on break yesterday I went through and did a draft of our new post retirement budget.  This week we both changed our addresses most places we could think off - banks, investment, professional licenses (4), utilities, work, insurance...I also put in the mail forwarding order for post office.  So, now all we have to do is turn in his paperwork, finish our 3 months work (pay off NYC trip off my credit card) and then next week our house will be paid off from the equity in our city house we are selling.  I have been really aware of getting rest and eating right, so physically I am doing well, but dang I am weary.  P.S.  I am well today, but yesterday i had a flare of epic proportions.  I had forgotten just how sick i can get, I had been feeling so well for so long.  Then BAM - out of nowhere...I know DH is tired and weary too.  But this weekend, we essentially unload the pantry/misc stuff (clocks, step ladder, other kitchen stuff) and plants go to MIL house and we are pretty much free to relax Saturday in our new space.  We will just have to try to ignore the ruined, partially torn up hardwood floor in the kitchen.  My pantry is in the utility room, so I can work in there and not worry about the torn up floor.  Oh, and I do have to move a shelf that is currently in utility room to garage so they can install flooring in there too.  But those two things are pretty minor compared to some of our recent work weekends of the past 3 years..  Sunday we will come back and clean where some furniture has been moved while we were gone and coordinate giving away few more things (another briefcase - this time to BIL, a sturdy for-sale sign for their yard, large TV, Armoire) and some stuff to purge (radio that does not work well, exercise ball that is going flat some more clothes and some old sheets) and then we just have to move stuff to extended stay hotel Tues and Wed night (and work a full week).  The buyer of our CH came over last night to measure a few places, she said she is really excited and we are excited for her to take it over and off our plates!

Weekend Work

Friday we brought big load lots of miscellaneous stuff.  Plus truck bed full of metal such as hall tree, more little tables, DH antique fan collection, etc.  We think we have one more large load and then one after that of ladder, vacuum, cleaning supplies,  etc.  It was hot friday and my SIL came by just in time to finish unloading.   I worked putting stuff away till 11pm Friday night.  Then I drove over and saw a movie and had lunch with my sister Sat.  DH worked on hooking up 2 stereos and wired speakers, unpacked his shoes and organized his shop.  we did a lot of organizing and decorating when I got back from lunch.  Whew we are tired.  Today is Sunday  and we will drive back and do as least as poss.  I will walk...maybe with my friend T.  Its hot though (90s) so we may do it later, like 6 or so.  we are coming with the last load next weekend and we have 5 people coming to get various items we gave them, which helps us and helps them.   It is getting close!  And retirement house is looking cute (full but cute).  Have a nice Sunday!

133 Days

Till we are finished with these jobs in this city.  I am wondering how different it will be when we don't have so many irons in the fire and what good things we can fill into that time!  I got back from my latest road trip doing pretty well late Sunday night, but I must have been on autopilot because I crashed and felt terrible Wed and Thurs.  My stomach really hurts and body aches all over - super tired.  DH thinks it was a "bug" because he was really tired the week before.  Well, I was so tired yesterday I skipped yoga and went to bed at 7:30pm.  Slept great.  I feel quite a bit better today.  Just in time to drive 4 hours and unload a large heavy load.  Oh, well...We are seeing progress...slowly.  I am thinking i will get up early and take a nice long walk at RH Sat morning.  I have heard nothing about the CH we are selling inspection, radon test nor appraisal...guess no news is good news.

Hot Yoga

Had a great hot yoga session last night.  I needed it after schedule the radon inspection complication, instead of installing 2 days before reg inspection, they will come get Monday - after inspection.  I could tell my sinuses were affected by allergies though, because I could not do eagle or warrior three on my right side.  I usually sleep really well after yoga but I was wide awake last night.  I went down to basement and plugged in 2 fans to move the air for radon testing.  It really seems arbitrary and unregulated in our CH state.  I just hope they find nothing and we all move on.  I will open all the windows now that I am pretty sure it won't rain through Monday.  It was not supposed to rain last night, but it did - right at dog walking time, of course.  But I managed to get them out after it slowed to a sprinkle.  My male dog barked at the front door at 10:30 and then stopped but kept looking at the door.  I was creeped out, then I realized if someone were there, he would keep barking.  But he just sat there...then it dawned on me...he was looking for DH!  So funny how animals are.  They know when things are out of their routine!
So, DH will be home tomorrow.  I packed a couple areas last night, but that is all.  I separated out a few more clothes to pack and take.  We already have the load packed in our large SUV for the 5/18 weekend.  So, I guess I am working on the load for Memorial Weekend.  I think if we take a full load every weekend from now to June 27, we should be able to get it all without help and without a trailer (other than open trailer for the bikes).  I am pretty sure we do not have such an involved move "in us" again.  My DH seems to be really tired all the time.  I am worried about him, I hope it is just all this stress and anticipation and activity surrounding our renovating one house, selling the other and moving (and his retirement!).
Have a great Wednesday!

It's the Final Countdown

Friday after work, we got with buyer again to pick closing.  She wanted sooner to lock in her mortgage rate.  So june 27!  Initialed contract.   Now I take to closing company.

Sat we installed new garage number pas and ordered new fridge filter. I got up, walked then finished painting deck.  Then we packed up the garage and bunch of stuff on storage room.  Now we are going out to hear relative's band.  We are tired!

Oh, we also locked in our room at extended stay hotel.  I am glad we did because they have foreign exchange college students come in for summer.  They work at area's amusement park.  We also saw size of room and what we will need.. at least it will have reg size fridge.  Made list of stuff I do to finalize sale, move, give away and take to ext stay hotel.

I Survived...

I survived A to Z challenge.   
I didn't do all the links/photos.  I mainly just wanted to see if I could find content to post everyday and I did.  So, I will keep going. 
Soon I will be saying we survived selling our house and moving!  This is a momentous year and even if I stop after this year, it will be a time capsule for a big year of change.  Downsizing and uncluttering, selling a house, rightsizing our stuff/activity/lifestyle, moving from city to country in diff state, retiring...
So I got my continuing ed finished for my prof license Thursday thru Saturday.   We took our dogs and went to RH after my DH had minor surgery wed.  I only worked 20 paid hours this past week.  Then wed night I framed some art and hung it, and I and spent the rest of Wed evening unpacking my truck.  Mostly clothes and racks for storage in the garage.  I also hung some glass crystals to jazz up an old light fixture. 
Thursday I visited with my in laws after my seminar and completed the chandelier for our entry way.  Friday I lunched with my sister after my seminar and then worked on my attic storage and painted 2 lamps.  I also hung 2 towel racks...so master bath is finished for RH.  I was so tired I went to bed at 7.30!  My seminar is an hour and a half drive from RH.  So, last half day was Sat, then I ran home and got the dogs and drove another 4 hours back to CH and put 2nd coat of stain on CH deck.  Whew.  I did not get to the leaves---was too wet.  I will do that late May. 
My husband and I - I think we are still just in shock that our house is under contract and we have a more definite timeline to make everything feel real.  The big stuff we are keeping/moving is almost all at RH, we just have a tool box and motorcycle jack/stand and misc pers effects (kitchen/bath/clothes) to move.  We figure 3 or 4 more trips with our SUV and one trip with our trailer for the bikes.  Can't believe it!

Rest

http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/?m=1
My friend at work has a funny saying "crank daddy out a hit".  We were just talking this morning about activity level, health and how sitting at work all day 8 - 12 hours a day is not good for us.  It takes years to build up strength and endurance.  I walked with my girlfriend last night, T.  We were reflecting how long it has been since it was nice enough outside in this long Midwest winter.  Our usual 4 miles was harder last night.  We also discussed our yoga over the past 6 years and how we see progress being made.  But it has taken 6 years!  And this morning my work friend and I were talking about how just the last year of overtime has sapped us!  Years to build up, months to lose.  But, the important take away is that it is NEVER too late to start.  If nothing else, working out benefits my state of mind.  I think it will be more easy to fit in and more important than ever to continue this in retirement.  My DH has been eating a little bit better and walking more with golf and he has lost 12 pounds in 3 months.  Funny thing is, our doctor told him his sodium was low, so to drink less water.  What?!  That is crazy, but makes sense because he and I have been obsessed with water and I think it is because of 3 things:  1)  our Y*@i tumblers.  I love them!  2)  we gave up diet soda and 3)  this sort of goes together, but I think he and I both are more sensitive to salt/medications may be making us thirsty.  Either way, good news...unless there is some underlying problem I need to worry about...too late, I worry proactively.  We are really focusing on getting our required sleep every night with these last couple years of hard work on both houses, at our jobs and with my health condition.  So, here's to not worrying...not worrying that this weekend will AGAIN be cold and rainy and so we still will not be able to paint our deck...not worrying that my dogs health is tenuous and they will get sick again...not worry that my DH has underlying health issue...not worrying that I will soon be moving away from my 99 year old dear grandmother...not worrying that we won't sell our house soon enough...or fast enough...No, I refuse to worry.  I will focus on gratitude, rest and turning it over to Him...and lunch and a movie with my 2 aunts on Sat.  Life is good!

Wooooooo weeeeee

I am tired.  Worked half day Friday.  Then took load of furniture and effects to RH after work...including the cat.  I get there 3pm, get my new truck license plates...run to bank to get money to pay contractor...hardware store furniture polish...to house to clean...construction dust the worst!...unload suburban...put storage shelf in closet...wax bookcases in dining room...early Sat morning I load books on bookcases...loaded few items for staging CH...drive hour to my Sisters...unload 2 pieces furniture,  including our dear mother's antique secretary...drive 2 hours to my friend who is fostering the kitty...then 2 hours home...oh, and I went to WM on a night before a holiday.. and before snow forecast.  Snow!  In April. 

I have been sick, sick, sick 🤢since we got back...travel does that to me.  I need desperately to rest. 

I hope everyone has the Easter you desire!  So grateful for Him!  I am having a quiet day resting at home.

Can This Day be Over Already

So, we had a great visit to another state to visit family and go to a relative's wedding.  The wedding was beautiful, the bride was stunning...Saw so many relatives, far and near.  It was just a great trip.  However, it was also tiring. I drove 8.5 hours Thurs and 9 hours back Sun.  We did take a 30 min detour and pop in to my retirement home on the way back yesterday.  My Uncle got to see my RH and we checked in on the tile work in progress. 
I think I am really going to love it.  Looks really nice with the cool gray and white of my bathroom.  The tile is warm yellowish beige tones.  Warms up the room.  My contractor complimented my choices.  I think all he has left to do is grout and clean up.
It was great to get home to my DH.  He stayed home with the doggies.  He was not thrilled at the prospect of being in the car with my VERY hard of hearing aunt and uncle.  And repeating one self over and over, practically yelling is tiring, but I was honored to be able to drive them and take care of them.  They have done so much for my sister and I.  Letting us come stay with them in the summer, showing me how much they love me, etc.  GREAT people. 
So, DH had dinner ready for me when I got home.  He even did grocery shopping and did some packing!  I was so proud of him and so glad to be embraced in a comforting hug.  Seeing my cousin's lovely young daughter and just all the reminiscing just made me tired and emotional.  So, I just chalked it up to that...then I relized that today is the day my Dear Belated Husband died in 1993 at age 32.  So, I have that making me blue, it is cold a raining here, so that adds to it...it is Monday, eta.
Except those things are not the main source of my emotion today...Our older dog, he is about 11 years old...well he is just not doing well.  He is declining in movement and sleeping a lot, but he still eats and drinks and gets around pretty good.  Well, DH said he has begun intermitten yelping once in a while.  DH thougth at first he was just dreaming, but he did it 3 or 4 times after I got home last night.  I was convinced he waited for me to get home and would not make it through the night, but he did and DH took him to vet today.  I missed 2 days next week, so it is hard to miss this week, but I am leaving early because while he is at the vet having tests, I am just sick to the point of distraction.  I realize he is getting older and I accept that dogs have a much shorter life span that I would wish...but I am really upset thinking it is so near and worrying that he is in distress.  Also, I told my DH I really am going to be devastated when he dies not matter what/when...but the possibility of it being so soon and before we move to Arkansas breaks my heart into a million pieces.  I see the pain in DH eyes too.  So, we have to be strong and grateful for every second with him. 
Wish us luck.  I will try to be back tomorrow.  Have a great Monday.  My lovely cousin is off to her enchanted honeymoon, where I bask in the happiness of my cousin - its her daughter and she is so happy.  I am going to hang on to that, because they are both special to me. 

Whew Weee, I am Tired

We just got back from RH.  I drove, DH napped.  I listened to my library book to help pass time.  Made the drive quick.  We are in full on "moving mode" now.  Moving couple pieces furniture each trip (4 hrs one way).  RH getting full, so I did about an hour work in attic and 15 min each couple closets.  My sis and neice came and hung out.  I gave them christmas stuff, rubbermade totes, bedding, pottery, blanket rack, cedar chest.  Took load of stuff I cant fit to SIL store.  She bought a dress form from me, we bought clock motor from her (almost same amount, that is convenient).  FIL had been sick head cold, their pup in ornery bitting stage.  BIL concerned about his job driving for a large company.  They are winding down his moms estate.  Told SIL and MIL of my heavy and worry for mu DGM, my Cousin and my great aunt.  I know faith is my answer.  It is all in Gods hands.

Got back to city, took 6 bags to thrift store, sold a travel golf bag.  My back is tired.  Time to grocery shop after lightening my load and car.  Then dinner and lunches fixed.  4 suits of DH mailed.  Then to bed!  Ready fir last Monday of my last January of my last winter in this city/state!

Need to Bounce

This is when I really wish I had someone who would read my blog.  Maybe if I can figure out how to post photos and do more commenting on other blogs.  But, my phone is not working very well and my pc at home finally seems to be working better (maybe).  So maybe I will try again.  My Samsung phone is  almost 2 years old and it is not holding a charge and is super slow.  It is ridiculous.  I am going to get one final smart phone upgrade, but I am going to try the WalMart plan $55/mo unlimited.  Most of my apps and stuff is google based, so I should be able to get it all transferred.  I am a little nervous about all my contacts.  I will have to go to Walmart and scope it out before I pull the trigger.  My Verizon contract is up 1/27/18 and I can't wait!

I am very tired this morning.  I am so happy to have a calm, regular week after crazy last week.  Went to good yoga session last night.  Went to sleep easily last night 10pm, was very tired.  Then I was wide awake 3am.  Could NOT go back to sleep.  Now I am super tired.  My mind is restless worrying about my cousin, her mom and my DGM.

On another note.  No more houseguests unless they are neat and come stay because they want to see me.

Would Rather be at Work

I would rather be at work than spend my time as I did yesterday.  And as a temp, that is saying something. 

Sorry to repeat, but I am tired.  Was relaxing this last weekend with my husband watching some TV, looking forward to my long weekend/day off on Monday.  10pm Sunday I got a text from a relative indicating that another relative had serious symptoms and was in the hospital.  Texter was going to bed, that was all they knew (the relative texting me was in another state).  The next morning, I followed up and learned that my relative in the hospital had 2 masses, one in her lung and one in her brain.

So, I went and visited patient Monday afternoon when she was visited by 2 doctors.  One a Radiology Oncologist and one a Neurosurgeon.  There she was laying in her bed after hearing that she had these 2 masses that morning.  I tried to just be with her and help her process and then after the doctors came, I wrote down notes and prepared as best I could to pass this information along to her son who had gone to talk to the patient's 90+ year old mother.  Patient and her mother are close to my DGM and I.  Neither doctor would say it was cancer, but the oncologist said it was "cancer looking".  The neurosurgeon tells us the mass in her brain is so large, they want to remove it surgically Wednesday.  This information is relayed and we are all in shock and family from 4 states are mobilizing.  I am close to another family member that flew in to be there for surgery yesterday, so she is staying with us and driving one of our cars.  I told her it was my way of helping. 

We spent the evening Tues night seeing patient and then went back Wed morning.  I took Wed off, but plan to finish working Thurs and Friday.  I do not have benefits for days off.  No work, no pay.  After she went to surgery, we went to spend some time with her mother.  We came back in time to learn patient was through brain surgery (took about half the time they initially told son) and waiting for a bed in ICU.  Son was still home cleaning and doing daily chores/resting.  So, neurosurgeon talked to us.  It was surreal when neurosurgeon told us that the tumor did not have definite margins where it was next to the brain, so he had to essentially cut it out of the brain to be sure he got it all.  Then he indicated that she was conscious and was responding and showing signs of moving her eyes to the right ok, but not to the left as well.  He said the brain area where the tumor was involved eye movement.  He said this may or may not be permanent.  He apologized to us for that, and said he did the best he could do.  He did unofficially say that he thought it was metastatic carcinoma (i.e. tissue in brain was cancer that came from the lung). The next steps/treatment plan/prognosis would come from cancer team.  I have felt like crying, but it does not come.  What has come is literally an overwhelming sense of exhaustion and my cousin really hit the nail on the head when she explained this is really only the beginning...(of a difficult battle).