We Had Freezing Rain Today

 Yay, it was fun.  Well, at least since I work at home.  I was safe and warm inside my home.  The bug guy came to spray today, so that was chaos.  We have 4 dogs and 2 of them are chihuahua's so, they bark and bark and bark non stop.  We have to put them all outside while he sprays inside, then we put them inside while he sprays outside.  They were making some weird noises, it was cold out there!  So, it spurred me to say to the guy, "well, we better get going - they are freezing out there"!  He is a talker!

We did mention to him since he is from this area and knows a lot more people than we do...we would love to find our big baby girl a home - it is just too much having 4 dogs and DH health is not great, so I think we have a lot on our plate right now.  We just took them all 4 to the vet and bought their heart worm and flea/tick meds...over $600 for all!  The vet should be ok for rest of the year, but the meds are just 12 weeks for the heart worm prevention and 6 months for the flea/tick.  Well, not totally true - we need to set another appointment for the male chihuahua as he needs his teeth cleaned, that will be another $200-$300.  

I was let off work early friday as our system was giving us issues, so they let us leave 2 hours early.  I was due to drive up to the lake to see my cousins and spend a couple nights with my aunt - one of my cousins has cancer, so I try to be supportive to them.  They have a big family and a lot of support.  My aunt is special to me, she has been such an important person in my life, alway has!  Especially after my mom (her sister) died in 1991.  She means a lot to my sister and me. 

My sister could not go, she and her husband were recovering from covid - said it was very mild.  I was not sure if the weather was going to cooperate with me, was supposed to get bad late Fri night or Sat - so when I was let off work 2 hours early I checked the forecast and was likely to outrun the bad weather - so I did.  Thank goodness the bad weather came Saturday in Mid Missouri.  I worked from the lake that day and they let us log off a half day early - as our computer system was down still.  Yay.  

My aunt spent time at the condo (more about this later!) while her sons were able to spend time at my cousin's house.  We gave them time together and she and I ate frozen pizza, granola bars and microwave popcorn (that's all we had in the condo!).  By Sunday it was at least sunny again (cold!) so we did not have any bad roads to deal with.  Sunday my cousin who is well came over and saw the condo and we went out for breakfast, then we went back over to see my cousin who is fighting cancer.  He went to bed really early Sat night and stayed in bed all day Sunday.  We were all really worried that he would not be able to take his chemo yesterday, but he did.  it was only his 4th dose and I think he has like 8 or 10 planned and he is already feeling so bad!  I HATE it for him.

Anyway, just finishing up with dinner here and i go to bed early on work nights!  Wed night we listen to music and read.  Enjoy your week!

Back Home, then Work

Well, we got back home to my state Monday at 9:30am.  We left Arizona at 1:30pm.  My counsin's wedding was beautiful.  It was great to be able to spend time with family and friends of hers I knew and to meet distant relatives I had not met yet.  I met couple more of her friends from Colorado.  They were so nice, and a lot of fun.  Cousin and her groom seem really happy and in love.  I hope for her to have a wonderful marriage and feel unity with this man and security and grounded. 

We left Wed morning at 11am, got out there early Thurs morning.  We went through the upper east side of Arizona and got to see some elk and deer.  We saw some breath taking landscape.  We had all afternoon Thurs and Friday to help the bride and get some fun in the sun.  We had good food, got some good rest and thoroughly enjoyed it all.

My cousin rode with me.  She drove a bit of the time.  I was pretty nervous riding with her, but she was very helpful (can see better at night than I can).  For reasons I won't go into...but anyway.  We got back and she went on home to the city (she slept approx. 7 hours in the car).  I went home and sleep all afternoon, woke up and ate dinner with DH.  Then back to bed early last night.  I got up and drove to the city for work this morning early.

I really miss DH and our dogs.  Dogs were clinging to me.  DH misses me a lot.  This is going to be a long summer.  At least I had a yummy salad for lunch, made with lettuce out of our garden.  Have a great Tuesday evening!

Heavy Weekend

Thursday, drove back up to city to see my terminal ill cousin, she was being helped by her brothers.  Her son is an alcoholic and absent.  So that has been very hard on her.  She said her mother so angry at son, mother (my great aunt) was writing him off. 

After that, I drove on up and visited with my Dear Grandmother and took her some cookies.  Then took her tax stuff to tax place, got that done.  I stayed with my aunt.   Had dinner with friend from 3rd grade.  She getting married Memorial weekend.   So we caught up.  Enjoyed chat with my aunt and uncle.   Cant believe how uncle failing.   He has lost 90 pounds since his fall last August.

Friday I talked to my old project manager.  I was a temp fir 11 years.   I can still do projects at my old rate.   Nothing work from home, unfortunately.   Then saw bunch of work friends, then lunch with B and T, my fave.

Friday afternoon visited with aunt and cousin, K1.  They got in argument,  I tried to help.  I failed.   I had coffee with friend T.  She totally understands this type stuff.    By time I got back, aunt was back to normal.  I just want no drama, I guess.  I can see where my experience can help, but of people dont want to try, justcwsnt to be "right" and not respect boundaries   nothing I can do.  So I prefer direct my energy where it matters.

Back by DGM and great Aunt on way home.  I made changes to GA wishes she had written out ( she is 95), but reminded her her grandson is sick and we prayed God gets through to him.   I was honored to try to be there for her such a difficult time st the twilight of her long life.

Tired, spending a day recouping today.

Happy Sunday!

Day 17

I'm home.  Had tea with my Aunts.  Drove to my cousin to see her, say hi, give her a hug.  She looks great!  Says she is cancer free, short hair now...looks great on her.

Went on and detoured to town where DH got his venison processed and picked that up.

Got home, unpacked.  Cleared room in freezer for venison.   Said hello to DH and doggies.

Then we had to get ready for fundraiser for our little town library.  It was nice.  Then home 9pm.  Couldn't wait to get into my jammies and lounge.

Thankful for home.

Stories from the Vault - Postponed

I referenced a couple of stories about my experience with strangers while driving - 2 of them I can think of off the top of my head.  I will write about them tomorrow.

Today, I want to write about 2 families on my mind...I posted a LONG post.  Then came back and curated considerably. 

Relative with stage 4 cancer diagnosis.  She is doing amazing.  Mass in her lung is gone, as are the other tumors in liver, lymph nodes and couple other places.  It is a miracle! 

She can barely breathe, so tenuous her understanding and comprehension.  She says she will celebrate at her 1 year mark...So amazing. 

On the other hand...her son is in his 20's.  Did not know his father.  He is very smart, but just no "gumption".

Relative had some issues in her life, she will be the first to admit.  But she always worked hard.  She had a great father.  At one point she was very successful in her career, making over 6 figures.  But after some relationship issues, a big geographic move and some job insecurity...ended up essentially scraping by job to job, no savings left, and barely kept her house, which is pretty run down and too big for her to properly care for. 

Well, when she got ill.  Her family has tried to be supportive.  We all tried to be there for her and J her son.  We all tried to gently comfort J while simultaneously encouraging him to "man up", the brothers tried to mentor him.  The problem is...we are all located distantly, busy working/caring for our families and have not been around him enough to naturally foster such personal relationships.  It is hard to "start" now from many miles away.  Any ideas?

At one point, she even encouraged us via group text to not let him feel abandonded, should she die.  I have tried a couple of times, not really knowing what to do and not getting any response in return.  What can I do now?  I admit, I feel distant partly because I just don't respect his bad choices.  But I do sincerely pray for and want the best for them both.

Well, evidently now the son and his mother had a falling out.  She explained that after he left in a hurry, she inspected his room and found it covered in trash.  Items she found troubling.  She even texted me pictures - it was shocking to me.  Mom wants to sell this house that is too big and get moved into a smaller place but she worries about J.  J meanwhile is just piling trash in his room and not helping enough.  I told her (gently and with great emphasis on the disclaimer) - I HAVE NO CHILDREN - that she needs to cut the cord for his own good too. 

So, clearly this guy has issues...it is really sad. 

Another sort of related topic...I have a family member whose husband was in a bad car accident recently.  Likely his fault,  their only car.  He is similar in affect to J, smart and wants to tell you how smart he is, sort of anti society.  Well he was hurt badly.  I think the passenger and the other driver are OK. 

Many issues about accident I wont go into...What if S and JD have no money saved up for emergencies?  Oh, these poor choices.  These 2 examples are not isolated...it is sad and scary. 

Lord if someone is hurting today, please visit them and embrace and comfort them.  Amen.

Did I mention that neither J or JD have any spirituality - no experience in nature, no meditation/solitude, no exercise, no artistic outlet.  No humility, I guess.  I think my gumption came from humility, which unfortunately came from humiliation - my father's way of cultivating obedience.  But does it have to come from there?  Do we have to feel small before we can see the big picture? 

A Weekend Lived Deep

After couple hours at work Friday, went home to be there for home inspection...then walked the dogs and left to pick up my Aunt.  We drove to her son's home, near where I grew up.  Had a lovely meal out with my cousin and aunt Friday.  Sat, I did relatives' cemetery circuit, including my mom's grave.  Then my friend's mom's memorial.  It was a lovely Catholic mass in a quaint little chapel, then we had graveside with her husband's plot.  He passed in 1972.  My friend now has neither parent, like me.  He has a lovely wife and daughter.  I enjoyed visiting with them.  Then, back to cousins and another fun meal out.  My friends even joined us.  It was great.  Then, Sunday 3 hours to my niece's wedding.  it was lovely and fun, quirky just like her and her husband.  My sister and husband were beaming as happy as the bride.  We got to know my niece's husband and his family more.  What a lovely occasion.  I was so happy to meet my nephew's adorable girlfriend too.  My face hurt from so much smiling.  Then 4.5 hour drive home and bed!  Whew, I am tuckered out!

A Cold January Type of January

Have sold a ton.  Bought 4 flannel shirts 1 on sale and 3 thrifted, wool cardigan  on sale and thrifted never worn hiking boots!

Spent the day yestersay at hospital with my cousin.  She learned she has lung cancer that has spread to her brain in the last 24 hours.  A lot to process.  She is 59.  Her son is 27.  Her mother (my DGM sis in law/best friend) is 95 in march.  They are taking brain tumor out tomor. 

Next they will biopsy the cells and/or lung tumor cells and confirm dx, tx and px.  I am numb today.  Think i will hang out at the hosp tomor.  Lot of this is going on around me.  That is our environment, that is old age, that is living longer and knowing more, that is life.  Life is precious and fragile.  Thanks for reading.