Keeping Score

It was a nice coincidence this morning that my inspirational emails were both about similar thing.  Motives and Keeping Score.  Maybe the true coincidence is timing.

Spending a lot of time with family can leave one feeling a lot of emotions.  I myself feel a lot of emotions.  Esp this year.  Maybe because we are retired and i do not have the distractions of work and career.  Maybe because I always miss my mom during the holidays.  Maybe because of the evolution of social media.  It is easy to fall into the pattern of comparing oneself.  One of my friends calls it comparing my insides to others outsides.  I suppose I still do that.  Its probably human nature.  I have some friends who are fully involved in social media.  I have some friends who fervently avoid it.  I try to keep a happy medium.  Enjoy the keeping in touch aspect, follow some bloggers and fashion instagrams, connecting with others I might not otherwise, seeing peoples families grow up.  Some groups on Facebook that I get a lot of inspiration from.  But avoid the negative pitfalls...There are a lot of them:  comparison, gossip, judgment, fakeness, superficiality, time wasting...not to mention the things I might be accomplishing if I were not on social media.  But I do find myself having much more free time now...And actually I am on social media less often that when I was bored at work all day.

Anyway, back to the score keeping.  It basically goes to the hard of one's motives.  The gift giving aspect of Christmas is very much deserving of at least a consideration of our motives.  That is an entire separate discussion.  I went to Silver Dollar City with a friend and her mom and sister Thursday.  It was really nice.  We walked around and looked at the shops and went to a musical.  Then we took in the lights and the lights were fantastic!  I got to watch a bit of glass blowing and pottery spinning.  I loved it.  Just the drive alone was breathtaking!  I also enjoyed the company and conversation.  My friends' mom commented that her neighbor brings them lost of baked treats.  And if they take her something, she immediately gives something in return.  I know a couple of relatives like that.  I think I am a little like that.  It is positive, I want to do nice things for others, esp when they have done something for me.  But the real reason we do for others is because that is what love is.  I will not really change my attitude toward this, but I will be mindful of my motives and most importantly, not expect anything back.

Many things are changing now that we are retired.  One of those things is plenty of time for reflection.  This time of the year I seem to take some time to reflect more.  It will be interesting to see how this is New Years time goes now that I am less busy.  I think the big difference is that I am looking forward to a new year more than ever.  I am looking forward to doing more things with DH.  Big things like travel and new interests, but even just fine tuning our day to day routine. 
He is gone all weekend hunting and I really miss him.  No deer yet, but he is going to stay until Monday if he still has not gotten one.  I want him to enjoy himself, but I don't really want another deer.  One is plenty.  I guess we will just be generous if he gets another.  He does want to be home to ring in the New Year with his baby.  Until then, we are limited to sending emails and PM (on social media - how ironic!)
Hope you all are having a great weekend.  Are you thinking of the New Year?  Any big plans?  Small plans?  Mindfulness or intentions?  I usually pick a word.  Mine is "receive".  I chose a very passive word intentionally.  I am changing already!