Thinking of my DGM today, today is the anniversary of my father's death. I know it is hard on her and on my brother and my dad's widow. So for all of them I pause and say a prayer for peace and happy memories. As for myself, I just try not to think to much on it and also pray for happy memories.
I am going to have to search for NYC airline tickets soon and get those locked down. Then DH and I will literally concentrate on paying off our 2 credit cards and putting a couple of his paychecks aside for Oct and Nov (we don't get his pension until end of Oct and SS until end of Nov). He is not worried, I am a little. We should get a check for his unused sick time and a check returning our money in escrow from city house. Maybe even some from retirement house. It is really hot and we need rain in the Midwest. I am usually ready for fall by the end of June. While I am at it, I can add patience to my list of prayers! LOL.
I have not done it for a while, but my stop and smell the roses lately is just lounging in our meat locker cold hotel room and just accepting...don't focus on the unfortunate part of this experience and we have been enjoying fruit and salads/smoothies, cool meals. I especially enjoy relaxing after my late but still hot walks I am now doing at 8pm. I am loving the long days still, but noticed that last night it was pitch black at 9:15. Tonight I am having a relative help me with my flights search (my internet is bad at hotel), so I will enjoy a visit with her after work.
What are you doing to take care of yourself? Hope you have a moment to relax today.
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matt 11:28-30
Thursday, July 12, 2018
Wednesday, July 11, 2018
More Heat
First, I just want to say my DH and I are so happy the soccer kids and their coach were rescued! So much bravery. I am humbled and grateful for soldiers and civil servants who take risks everyday to help other people.
I keep thinking that I should be adapting to life in the Extended Stay and be able to sleep, but in practice...not so much. Was up several times last night, mostly because of the limited space trying to sleep. I usu sleep really good after sweating so much in hot yoga. We are used to a queen. When we prepaid back in March for our hotel, we asked for a queen or double bed. They never explained no queen, only double beds - as in full size. But some rooms have 2 beds, which we would be ok with. We also asked for 1st floor for ease in walking the dogs and wifi.
We got none of these things! We are on the 4th floor next to fire escape stairs where doors are always slamming. We have a single full bed and the wifi is non existent. After getting moved in, we asked for a week about getting a queen bed moved into our room - no one ever got back to us - it seems no one there knows much of anything, they all refer to the "manager". So, when i finally spoke to the one manager, he said no queens exist. OK, what about a 2 bed room - well, they are all taken and no way to know when one is available till the people leave. Then, 2 days ago, they offered us a 2 bed room - but just on the 3rd floor. DH said he wanted to wait to move all our stuff when a 2 bed room is on 1st or maybe 2nd floor. Uggggghhhhh. I will just continue to enjoy the air cranked wayyyyyyy down and very cool room.
Supposed to be 98 and 99 through Monday. Tues high 80s. We are going to RH this weekend to relax and spread out, do some cleaning and laundry. We will enjoy taking our smaller car rather than our ginormous older SUV. We have taken the SUV every trip to RH for the past year and a half. It costs nearly $100 to fill it up with gas versus $40 for the car. So, that is nice. All we have left to move to RH (4hours away) is what we are currently using in hotel. So, that is a nice thought.
Stay cool and enjoy your Wednesday!
I keep thinking that I should be adapting to life in the Extended Stay and be able to sleep, but in practice...not so much. Was up several times last night, mostly because of the limited space trying to sleep. I usu sleep really good after sweating so much in hot yoga. We are used to a queen. When we prepaid back in March for our hotel, we asked for a queen or double bed. They never explained no queen, only double beds - as in full size. But some rooms have 2 beds, which we would be ok with. We also asked for 1st floor for ease in walking the dogs and wifi.
We got none of these things! We are on the 4th floor next to fire escape stairs where doors are always slamming. We have a single full bed and the wifi is non existent. After getting moved in, we asked for a week about getting a queen bed moved into our room - no one ever got back to us - it seems no one there knows much of anything, they all refer to the "manager". So, when i finally spoke to the one manager, he said no queens exist. OK, what about a 2 bed room - well, they are all taken and no way to know when one is available till the people leave. Then, 2 days ago, they offered us a 2 bed room - but just on the 3rd floor. DH said he wanted to wait to move all our stuff when a 2 bed room is on 1st or maybe 2nd floor. Uggggghhhhh. I will just continue to enjoy the air cranked wayyyyyyy down and very cool room.
Supposed to be 98 and 99 through Monday. Tues high 80s. We are going to RH this weekend to relax and spread out, do some cleaning and laundry. We will enjoy taking our smaller car rather than our ginormous older SUV. We have taken the SUV every trip to RH for the past year and a half. It costs nearly $100 to fill it up with gas versus $40 for the car. So, that is nice. All we have left to move to RH (4hours away) is what we are currently using in hotel. So, that is a nice thought.
Stay cool and enjoy your Wednesday!
Tuesday, July 10, 2018
Heat Wave
It is really hot here, and dry. We are in a heat wave...over 97 for 2 days and likely for sev more, even hotter more like 99 and 100. Going to hot yoga tonight, my tummy really off, it will help me sleep.
DH is sort of having sore throat, a bit puny so we may just have smoothies this evening. I got some salad stuff, a cooked Turkey breast, fresh and frozen veggies, fruit we can have here easily in our room. Smoothies are easy and welcome in this heat.
Hope you are staying cool!
Monday, July 9, 2018
My Brother
I realize I missed my brother's bday. So, I guess my brother must be about 21 or 22 now. I felt sad, but not regret exactly. I don't regret being honest with my father and step mom about things I observed which caused me to establish a boundary that essentially omitted them from my life. So, when my dad passed away in 2014, any chance to get to know my half brother passed with him, I think. My dad at least tried in the beginning, it bothered him that we did not spend holidays together, at first. But then we were not included in vacations or family photos either...so I guess my dad either just gave up or got angry with me for my confrontational, blunt way of speaking of it. I just feel like I need to talk about things...not just stuff them - that makes me sick, physically sick. But that is the way of my dad and his family of origin - don't talk about it!
I used to be a master manipulator and control freak. And I used words as a sword and a shield. I realized that just made me feel bad. My sould searching and personal experiences have lead me to conclude that manipulation and control is the very last thing I want to do today. This has caused me to be a little more aloof, but I know that is best for my stability and serenity. I now do not have to share every feeling or opinion I have. I just look to my intentions and pause. Sometimes, I succeed and sometimes, I don't! lol
Funny thing that happened about 2 months ago...I realized via FB that one of my best friends from high school, her daughter goes to same college she and I went to years ago, in same city my dad (and his shiny new family) lived in. I flipped through couple photos of her lovely daughter, whom I could not fathom she was in college...lo and behold, friends daughter is friends with my half brother's girlfriend. How crazy is that, out of 20,000 students! I recognized his girlfriend from perusing his FB - on yeah, BTW, I am not friends with my brother, lol. Anyway, my girlfriend was so shocked, she called her daughter to ask about brother's girlfriend. Her daughter told her that my brother essentially told his girlfriend not to hang out with the single girls in friend's daughter's group. This type of jealous possessiveness tells me that my brother is a chip off the old block. Well, good luck with that!
I don't know why people in relationships want to control each other...it will never work out in the long run. Girls will resent it and either leave or sabotage (speaking from my own personal experience) and women that control their man essentially emasculates them. Neither is optimal. But I really do wish him the best. He is very young, after all. My dad, with all his flaws, was clearly the better parent because he instilled work ethic and consequences. My step mother always let her kids do whatever they wanted. Some of the lessons my dad wanted to relay to my brother, I saw my step mother undermine him consistently.
I had to do a lot of soul searching and even some therapy related to my need to please my dad which competed with the just as powerful need to be independent. But I finally was able to gain some perspective over time and distance and that is, that my dad was a great dad when I will a little kid and needed him the most...and that is a lot more than many people can say. So, I finally learned to see him for what he is (limited) and forgave him and tried to convey peace and healing when he got sick and died. I have no regrets there. I also have no regrets about having nothing to do with my step mother - I do have conflicting feelings about my brother...so I just leave it at than and continue to ponder it and pray about it.
I used to be a master manipulator and control freak. And I used words as a sword and a shield. I realized that just made me feel bad. My sould searching and personal experiences have lead me to conclude that manipulation and control is the very last thing I want to do today. This has caused me to be a little more aloof, but I know that is best for my stability and serenity. I now do not have to share every feeling or opinion I have. I just look to my intentions and pause. Sometimes, I succeed and sometimes, I don't! lol
Funny thing that happened about 2 months ago...I realized via FB that one of my best friends from high school, her daughter goes to same college she and I went to years ago, in same city my dad (and his shiny new family) lived in. I flipped through couple photos of her lovely daughter, whom I could not fathom she was in college...lo and behold, friends daughter is friends with my half brother's girlfriend. How crazy is that, out of 20,000 students! I recognized his girlfriend from perusing his FB - on yeah, BTW, I am not friends with my brother, lol. Anyway, my girlfriend was so shocked, she called her daughter to ask about brother's girlfriend. Her daughter told her that my brother essentially told his girlfriend not to hang out with the single girls in friend's daughter's group. This type of jealous possessiveness tells me that my brother is a chip off the old block. Well, good luck with that!
I don't know why people in relationships want to control each other...it will never work out in the long run. Girls will resent it and either leave or sabotage (speaking from my own personal experience) and women that control their man essentially emasculates them. Neither is optimal. But I really do wish him the best. He is very young, after all. My dad, with all his flaws, was clearly the better parent because he instilled work ethic and consequences. My step mother always let her kids do whatever they wanted. Some of the lessons my dad wanted to relay to my brother, I saw my step mother undermine him consistently.
I had to do a lot of soul searching and even some therapy related to my need to please my dad which competed with the just as powerful need to be independent. But I finally was able to gain some perspective over time and distance and that is, that my dad was a great dad when I will a little kid and needed him the most...and that is a lot more than many people can say. So, I finally learned to see him for what he is (limited) and forgave him and tried to convey peace and healing when he got sick and died. I have no regrets there. I also have no regrets about having nothing to do with my step mother - I do have conflicting feelings about my brother...so I just leave it at than and continue to ponder it and pray about it.
Sunday, July 8, 2018
Put My Finger on Something
So I am reading a book about rituals (Getting Back to Happy by Marc and Angel Chernof) and realized that often when I dont want to do something I do it after work so I am more likely to do it, rather than do it on days I am home (weekends, holidays). I will just have to schedule workouts and coffee with friends to get me out if the house.
I also realized I do few of these things...keep visual calendar, chart money/savings, and have photos of my house on my work computer). I got off career track 12 years ago. Now my job is a means to an end. When it gets to me I look at photos of my husband, my dogs, our bikes/trips and our house we have been working on 4 years.
We are getting lots of rest in this small hotel room, but we need it! Today, slept in then we are going to friends house to see their renovation work. Have a wonderful Sunday!
Saturday, July 7, 2018
I'm Back!
Back to city. To RH to oversee new kitchen/utility room floors and plumber. Did laundry. Expensive here at hotel. Golf today. Was in the 80s fir nice respite, was great being outside. Sunday...then back to work. While I was at RH, I got some painting (porch ceilings and rear exterior wall), some shrubs trimmed and watered. Have a great Sat night!
Monday, July 2, 2018
First Weekend in Extended Stay
We are pretty much accustomed to the noises and limited space and limitations of the extended stay hotel. But, we are sleeping fine and managing to get our meals taken care of and the dogs are adjusting and doing fine. There are many things that i appreciate such as the limited space to take care of, we are on the southeast corner (cooler than west side) and we can crake the AC and keep it really cool and we are paying for the electric or cable! haha. I also noticed that we cannot hear the fireworks in the neighboring housing additions very much which is good for the dogs.
We went out with friends Friday evening who all have June birthdays. It was good to see our friends we had not seen in a while. I ended up going to watch BIL band. We were not going to go this time, since it was so hot and it was outside. Then DH heard a rumor that one of my favorite singers was going to show up at this small dive venue. DH told me to go and he was going to hotel to be sure dogs were ok. Since it was in the opposite side of the city, i went with a girlfriend. The rumor was false but I had fun. Sat I shopped for my Granny and visited with my aunt who had been in the hospital for over a week. Then I went home and DH and I went to a housewarming party for my good friend. That was nice seeing people too. We have been so focused on packing and moving, that we had not done much else the past 6 months. Sun it was cool from an early morning rain and we went to one of our favorite state parks and hiked 3 miles, then lunch. I got a few groceries and we relaxed Sun evening. It was a full but fun weekend.
We went out with friends Friday evening who all have June birthdays. It was good to see our friends we had not seen in a while. I ended up going to watch BIL band. We were not going to go this time, since it was so hot and it was outside. Then DH heard a rumor that one of my favorite singers was going to show up at this small dive venue. DH told me to go and he was going to hotel to be sure dogs were ok. Since it was in the opposite side of the city, i went with a girlfriend. The rumor was false but I had fun. Sat I shopped for my Granny and visited with my aunt who had been in the hospital for over a week. Then I went home and DH and I went to a housewarming party for my good friend. That was nice seeing people too. We have been so focused on packing and moving, that we had not done much else the past 6 months. Sun it was cool from an early morning rain and we went to one of our favorite state parks and hiked 3 miles, then lunch. I got a few groceries and we relaxed Sun evening. It was a full but fun weekend.
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