Sometimes the "Interwebs" Help

I just read a column by "Ask Amy" and learned about a concept that was helpful.  It has been around a while, but I had not heard of it.

The Ring Theory, as started by a pair of professionals/writers in Psychology Today article.  The people closest to the person having a problem receive comfort and support from outer circles.  The circles outward represent next of kin, closest family, closest friends, distant family, etc.  If someone needs to vent, they pass it outward.  Support and comfort in, bitching out.  Totally makes sense.  Stuff like this, you learn from your support system.  My mother passed away when I was 24 and I miss out on stuff like this.  Now, I will pass this on, implicity or explicitly. 

My sister and I experienced this in practice when my mother was dying and we were present with my father in a little tightly wound ball.  Boundaries to this day questioned by my aunt.  My mom's sister.  It goes a little like this...my father, my sister and I were deciding whether to take my mother off of life support.  My mom's step father, whom she was not close to, offered stories of his ailments during a time that we just needed to process what to do about our mom.  My father was swift and sure in his recoil.  My sister and I more confused and in a daze, we were too young to understand.  This may have had a more slow, long term and sustained effect on us.  Sometimes I think this is just one way men and women differ...in how things affect us.  My dad did not miss a beat, he felt a certain way and just moved threw life and I was more questioning always.  I have been like this forever.  Maybe not as much now. 

My mother passed at peace and having forgiven and accepting her step father.  For what?  I am not sure and will never really know...but I know my mom's mind was at ease. 

My mom's step father has a child that I cherish today.  She is my mom's youngest sister.  Same mother.  She is one of my favorite people in the world.  Another such treasured person is her sister, my mother's next youngest sister, same father as my mom.  She and I have been close since I was one year old.  These two sisters see things and express themselves differently.  The sister who shares my mother's father...she sees things one way.  The sister who had same father, sees things differently.  Aunt who is more outspoken, she felt slighted about her mother being placed very deliberately - by my father, into the next outer layer of "The Ring".  I have heard this feedback over the years 100 times.  I have gone the gamut of horrified outcry...over to a much milder form of understanding...about this situation.  Weathered by age, experience and just plain knowledge about perspective and life-position.  I may think about this more...but I probably will not change much in my understanding about it, from this moment forward.  The internet helped me today.

Father Birthday

Today is my father's birthday.  I have no energy today to think of him much.  He passed in 2014.  Days like today, I feel nothing much.  Or maybe it is suppressed.  I feel sad for my DGM and my dad's son.  I know my niece and nephew got the short end of the grandfather stick.  I don't think they really think of it much at all.  This I believe because I doubt my sister thinks of it much.  She and i don't talk about it much.  At least my niece is enjoying a trip to Las Vegas today.  Good for her.  I wrote her a page of things I have done there.  I did not go there until my early 30's, then I managed about 10 trips there somehow.  So, I have been all around and seen a lot of things to enjoy.  Few ways to save, few ways to splurge.  I hope she is having fun.  The weather is beautiful here yesterday and today.  Sunny and 50's/60's.  I enjoyed a 4 mile walk yesterday.  Was good for me.  Happy Monday!

Photo Phun

I just sent DH 2 photos I want him to recreate with me...one of a woman in a long gown standing on a gravel road at sunset by a classic car and another a shot of 3 women dressed up in their gear riding their bikes toward the camera.  Fun!  Live it up!

I can't wait to see how I will not sit still while I can do whatever I want.  I am going to conquer the world...or at least get some cobwebs cleaned out!

Did early free lance appt Sat am.  Had to get up early AND dress up.  Waaaaaaa.

I am SO proud of my spouse...he bought a pry bar to take off moulding at RH next weekend, with no reminder/request/bossing from Me!  Amen.  I gave away some bar stools, clothes, motorcycle bag to some friends, large dog bed, etc.  I was restless, so I touch up painted downstairs bath and worked on magic sponge in downstairs master closet.  Downstairs looking good!  Carpet clean, stretch and couch to be taken down and loveseat brought up, and touch up trim...and it will be good to go!

On our day off from snow last week, I made a meal out of spaghetti squash and used sauteed mushrooms and jar sauce/pre made meatballs...it was SO good.  Fairly healthy and very filling.  Will be much healthier when I do sauce  from scratch.

I am going to do more adjustments like this.  Husband eats anything, more veggies than I.  But smaller meals, spinach smoothies, supplements and no morning/night eating have helped my tummy.

Have a wonderful rest of your weekend!  I am going to take a walk...is cool, but Sun is finally out.  Thank Him!

I Can Handle Week Like This!

Off  Monday.  Worked Tues and Wed.   Off Thursday.  Work Friday.

Happy dance, until I get my paycheck next week.   Waaa wah.
 

I did some fun staging for CH yesterday.  Then we heard a loud thud last night.  A wire holding a mirror I put up sheared right in half...the mirror fell straight down and cracked but did not escape it's frame and a large pottery vase (like 20-24 inches high) that was sitting in front of and below mirror was not disturbed!  That part is amazing!
 

Guess the old adage is not true...or just depends on how one looks at it.  That...and I better watch out next few days.  Oh pooh, I don't believe that.
 

Have a couple friends my age, hell bent on self destruction.   It is just so sad.  Moving will sort of be helpful time for me to incorporate a little 'insulation' into my life.  I don't nec mean to put up impenetrable wall, but I can decide how involved I want to me.  I may invite you in through the gate...not let energy depletion seep in through the windows...attic...basement...internet?
 

How do you handle such friends?  I don't have the power.  He does.

Hot Tea Sort of Afternoo n

Jasmine tea in the winter.  Yummy, reminds me of summer Jasmine growing. 

So i had $90 credit in PM.  I went ahead and pulled the trigger on pair of rain booties and a light rain coat.  The boots were used Bean Boots, rubber duck boot bottom and leather lace upper.  Great condition, i got them for $60!  And for $22, a light waterproof Lands End coat.  I decided my golf rain jacket was not ideal since I had nothing with a hood.

So, all I have bought this year are hiking boots, 4 flannel shirts and 4 sweaters/1 sweat shirt and rain gear.  I was a bit tempted to see what spring stuff coming out, but i feel so pleased about my curating, I really think I wont buy anything else until I am actually living the lifestyle I can only imagine now.  What a great strategy!  I am having as much fun purging as I used to have acquiring.  If you have not tried it, just try it.  It is habit forming.

Today I did not go in to work, ice storm.  I don't think it's as bad as predicted.   But that's ok.  I cleaned, purged, rearranged, packed some stuff to take to Retirement House, some to give away to charity, crime to give to friend's and couple barstools to put on the curb.  I found a friend with a large house to take my giant 7 foot tall corn plant (tree).

Be careful out there! 

Winter is not Finished Yet!

So I got up Monday (Presidents Day holiday, I DONT get paid for).  Walked 3 miles, it was 60 degrees.  Then 12:20pm we golfed, just DH and I.  Had dropped to high 40s, then quickly low 40s, then drizzle.  But only for like 4th or 5th hole.  But then I was little wet and chilly and my hands never totally warmed back up.  Plenty of layers up top, not sure why I didn't double up layers on legs, guess cause I was so warm on my walk.
 

Anyway, my game suffered.  But I still feel I am making progress.  I need practice on my putting big time.  It was obviously overcast mon and tues (ice storm, yay good times), but it stayed light till well after 6.  I had friends over coffee 6pm monday.  I really worry about one friend there.  I worry about some not there and sev family members too.  But my plate us full of planning, executing and purging for our move.  I ask God to carry the burden.  He is the One who can do it. 
 

Have a fierce week.  Try to limit news consumption, it is too depressing.  I focus on good news and gratitude.  Next week might be in the 50's!  We can do this!
 

P.S.  I found a home for my 7 foot tall inside corn plant (tree - no room at RH!).  Sure wish I could should you a picture!  HAHAHA.  Maybe I can talk her into a couple others.  My gardenia in pot inside is hanging in there, but is sure not exactly thriving!  Could not tell if my fig and catalpa trees planted ouside at RH will make it when I was down there.  Guess we shall see!  I also gave my old phone to my friend to give to her mother.  I made her mother and sister afgan's last year and early this year.  They loved them so much, her mom sent me nice Hobby Lobby gift card.  I used it to pay for custom framing for an embroidery of 2 cardinals my sister in law gave me.  I will look at that embroidery and think of my sister in law and my friend and her mom/sis whom I made afgans/got the gift card...funny who love/giving "goes around". 

What Day is it?

Feels like Sat or Mon, but not Sunday.  Have another day off tomorrow, then holiday desert till May!  Our lives could be very diff by May...IF we sell City House.

 

Got bookcases unloaded, all books stacked in hall closet and larger guest room.  But they are ALL MOVED! Woopie!  We measured and literally are an inch off from putting all 4 white bookcases along one wall of dining room.  So...we are gonna see if removing chair railing moulding will work.  So, in 2 weeks we come back with 2 last solid wood bookcases and I can put all the books away!

Beautiful weather this long weekend.  We are switching DH phone over today...we will save $87/month.  We have long talks with inlaws (retired many years) and SIL/husband who are on similar track and timeline as us.  When not discussing heavy topic, we played a fun board game last night.  God is good!  My SIL husband got a new job.  Was at his last employer 20 years.  He taking less pay, but home more.  We are so relieved for him. 

 

Oh, and I transformed smaller guest room closet to an office.  I will learn how to add photos one day.  The small guest room has sleeper sofa so i can watch tv or sew or do crafts.  The office/closet is for household business/bills/records, memory boxes/photos and gift wrap.  One must be creative when rightsizing!  Have a wonderful long weekend, enjoy last week of the Olympics!