A little good, a little bad

DH went with his sister to visit their cousin an hour or so away yesterday.  The cousin was thinning our her mother's garden and had scads of extra plants she offered us.  So, they brought back an SUV load of plants to plant.  DH is like, yeah I will just wait till you get home so you can supervise.  Sure, he will.  I have my work cut out for me Sun, Mon and Tues!  Sat I think we are going to visit our sick friend at the lake, as her husband and her just had their 30 year anniversary this week and we thought we would offer a nice pick me up for her to visit.  She is having pneumonia issues however, so we might have to put this visit off.  Evidently she has bilateral.  Feel so bad for her. 

"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, yes, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Speaking of fear, tornadoes ravaged across Texas, Oklahoma and Missouri last night.  I know of no friends or family affected, but my hearts go out to those who are.  3 people killed southwest Missouri.  So awful.  This was 8 years to the day of the devasting 2011 Joplin tornado where 161 were killed. 

Latest Development

The gal I feel disconnected with, DW.  Well last night her husband's uncle passed away.   So she has to stay and go to funeral.

So that's much better for me.  I am going to go ahead and go.  I pray that it either comes up and I can clarify and discuss.  Or we don't talk about it and I can just avoid in the future.

I am not going to discuss DW with her BFF BB.  I just look forward to having this issue out of the way.   I fear it would be much more confrontational and dramatic if I back out now day before.

I have my own worries right now that need my attention.  I will write about them in upcoming weeks.

if you pray please pray we can all act out of love and growth not defensiveness.

Understand

I could title this post A for Anxiety again.  But I already did one titled Anxiety.  Plus, this resource I found sort of moves beyong Anxiety...to awareness and coping.
I just listened to Claire Bidwell Smith's book "The Rules of Inheretance".  Which I loved.  And I found she has a podcast.  I listened to her explain her 3rd book, coming out this fall.  is titled "Anxiety, The Missing Stage of Grief".  As someone who has explored (after avoiding) grief, I would not exactly say I was missing it, BOB....hahahaha....random movie quote.  Anxiety has been holding my hand for my entire life, I think it just intensified and I am just now making the connection, that it could be grief...more specifically not dealing with grief...that has lead to much of mine.
And how ironically I am sitting here listing to her first podcast and I see on social media that a good friend of mine lost his mom.  She was a 90+ year old feisty little German lady named Ursula.  And I loved her.  My heart aches for her son and grand daughter.  And my friend's wife, her daughter in law.  Another good friend of mine.  RIP Ursula, you will be missed.

A Cold January Type of January

Have sold a ton.  Bought 4 flannel shirts 1 on sale and 3 thrifted, wool cardigan  on sale and thrifted never worn hiking boots!

Spent the day yestersay at hospital with my cousin.  She learned she has lung cancer that has spread to her brain in the last 24 hours.  A lot to process.  She is 59.  Her son is 27.  Her mother (my DGM sis in law/best friend) is 95 in march.  They are taking brain tumor out tomor. 

Next they will biopsy the cells and/or lung tumor cells and confirm dx, tx and px.  I am numb today.  Think i will hang out at the hosp tomor.  Lot of this is going on around me.  That is our environment, that is old age, that is living longer and knowing more, that is life.  Life is precious and fragile.  Thanks for reading.