Now or Never

http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/?m=1

When I posted the title, I had the Elvis song playing in my head.  Ear worm.

I used to have a really busy job in the insurance industry.  In college, I majored in business.  It was the 80's and I was under the influence of such movies as Working Girl (Melanie Griffith), The Secret of My Success (Michael J. Fox) and Trading Places (Dan Aykroyd and Eddie Murphy).  I considered a job in a lab (biomedical engineering - I loved chemistry but hated math) and something more artistic (decorating - too impractical).  My parent's felt I needed something more concrete since I was the first person in the family to go to college and they persuaded me to at least take typing and computers, so business made sense.  I figured I would probably end up as a secretary, but secretly longed to go to law school.
I finished with a BS in marketing.  I got a job in sales and hated it.  I had worked retail through college and like it mostly, but hated the hours and the flakiness of the employees.  Plus it did not pay well and you were on your feet all day.  But I liked helping the customers and displaying/showing the merchandise.  I consider fashion merchandising and advertising, but figured I would have to move far away and I missed my mom and sister too much in college. 
I applied for a job I found in the paper that was a good salary, but was not sales.  I got it.  Be careful for what you wish for.  I should clarify and say I did not get the actual job, but a slightly different version of what I applied for.  The other applicant that my hiring manager liked had a wife and kid.  My manager told me this, something you could never say today.  So, he hired the other guy and told me that he really wished he could hire us both.  I figured he was just saying that to be polite.  Well, about 2 - 4 weeks later I heard from him again.  Would I want to take the job that was just a step below and possibly work into the same position down the road?  Sure!  It was $23,500 a year and full benefits.  I actually would have medical insurance, vacation days and a 401(k).  Whooooopiiieeee.
This job was challenging but entertaining.  Everyday was something new and different.  We were quickly given very thorough training and authority.  We learned a lot.  I excelled.  It was unique enough, I got to use my left brain creative side.  But very time intensive and I worked long hours.  For many years.  I moved around, different states.  Got moved up and promoted, learned to specialize.  I liked the nature of my job overall, but 2 things remained challenging...time management and politics. 
We were given much training and pep talks in time management.  No preparation at all for politics.  Haha.  I really had no help at all in either area.  My father was a blue collar worker who essentially worked for his friend and my mom was a bank teller who hated management.
One of the things we were taught by Big Insurance was, only touch something once.  We had daily "diaries" of stuff to do on each "file" assigned to us.  Often the job was so overwhelming with "fires" that come up from tasks being forced up on us from new "files" or people calling and yelling at us that we would just move the diary ahead a few days, or a week.  This did not help in the long run, these tasks were still waiting for us, along with new "fires".  So, we were taught to 1)  do what you could to move the file forward any time you looked at it, 2)  diary ahead realistically and 3)  each piece of mail you got - put it where it needed to go when you first touched it.  Don't just stick it in a pile.  Summarize the mail in the computer database and file it with the appropriate hard file.
This has served me well in life.  I hate junk mail, I hate all mail, really.  Paper or electronic.  I do what I can to minimize it.  I elect to get electronic billing on all accounts and zero junk email (I opt out of all and create spam for all the offenders who ignore) and when I open paper mail I deal with it right then...a)  keep and file or b) shred and throw away.  I hope to add more efficiencies in my life like this (systems) upon retirement, so that I won't become bogged down with the slack routine and have loose ends.  I don't deal well with loose ends.  I would almost rather do something wrong than do nothing!  Ha.  Anyway, this has been your lesson in 90's Big Insurance rah rah boom bah pep talk about how to cram more into your day.  Not really, this is a way I can do my chores and have more fun.
Have a great Monday!

Keep

Keep on Keeping on
http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/?m=1
I am in awe of people who blog for more than a few months.  This is hard!  I am trying to do the A to Z challenge for April, and it sounded like a good idea at the time.  But I am a little stymied.  So, I will talk about something positive.  My theme is Righsizing (I prefer the term for my  own purposes than downsizing).  Rightsizing is moving  toward the type of home and lifestyle that allows me to pursue some peace and quiet and let's me get to know myself and my needs on a basic level.  I also want to experience some down time.  I have never been one to sit still.  I have never been good at being alone either.  I have been lucky enough to be happily married for several years now and love spending most of my time with my husband.  Although I am with him most of the time and want to be with him most of the time, i crave some solitude.  I also feel comfortable working on projects and being busy, but I am also tired.  I  crave some time where I do not have projects looming.  I guess I am looking for what most people seek - balance.    I had coffee with some friends after work (after I bought doggy pee pads and had flyers made for the house).  Then I went home, heated up some leftovers for DH, had some left over salmon that I baked the other day and I put my favorite soothing music on and washed my face and brushed my teeth and promptly went to bed at 8:30.  I only woke up briefly to take my ear buds out and then fell back asleep until time to get up to get ready for work.  I feel great today.  So, while I talk a lot of all the stuff I am doing to get ready to sell and move, purging, selling, giving, throwing away...one of the things I will keep are friends with coffee and thanks to texting, email, social media, blogging and podcasts...I can feel plugged in to real and virtual friends. 
How do you keep plugged in? 

Crazy Busy

Crazy busy at work...but that's good.  Makes days go by fast.  Did more touch up paint and clean up today.  Our nephews came over to move couple heavy pieces furniture and 10 x 12 wool rug (I am giving a friend).  We bought it couple years ago $100.  It Is a $2000 thick well made wool rug.

2 more paint projects (and cleaning - will never finish cleaning!).

Then we took our nephews and one signed other, to dinner.  They are all young and trying to decide what vocation/career paths.  We had fun visiting with them.

I bought a dress for a wedding in Texas next week.  I had a credit at consignment store and I am all about black and white prints...so I went ahead and picked a couple...inexpensive.  I look forward to my thurs and Friday off next week.

Got call our taxes are filed.  I just have to pay accountant.   I am always glad when we can check that off our list!

Hot yoga in the morning!  Have a great Saturday and St. Pats tomorrow!

Mother

Today is my mom's birthday.  I really miss her.  Doing well.  Hot yoga again last night.  Going again Thursday.  Still pretty cool here, but love the longer daylight!

Very busy at work.  Very busy cleaning and packing and monitoring reno of RH master bath long distance.  When I am driving/walking I am listening to "Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo".  It was a good book. 

Will come back and write more soon!  Have a great Wednesday!  What is the weather like where you are?  Do you like Daylight Savings plan?  Any good books? 

Overwhelmed?

Today I read an anonymous prayer "I pray that I may not be overwhelmed by material things.  I pray that I may realize the higher value of spiritual things..."  I have failed to mention lately that I am bringing that last of 2 boxes of old records to shred at work this week.  I had a single last paper box full.  I divided it by 3 because I only work 3 days this week and I bring an armful in a day and they get shredded.  I can't carry the entire box at a time, because I walk 2 blocks to work!  I also brought 2 envelops to mail a vest and a purse.  I also was inspired last night to get up during a commercial while watching my favorite show and grab about 8 items that I was on the fence about out of my closet and put them in the pile. Funny this is the prayer this morning.

The weekend was pretty busy...I need a weekend of nothing but rest.  So maybe the 1st weekend of Dec I will do that.  Have a total pajama day Sat!  Part of the problems i have are cyclical...i start feeling really good, I eat too much or not enough good "whole" foods, i.e. too much processed junk/sugar and then I crash and burn.  I went to bed feeling pretty bad last night.  My tummy was really upset, some abdominal and upper acid reflux and my joints were sore, right knee was throbbing.  Also some things I don't mention in a blog telling me my Candida might be back.  I know I need to do elimination diet...but it is the week of Thanksgiving...really?!  Oh well, I will just focus on lean meat and veggies this week...try to give up sugar.  It is hard, but feeling like this is harder. 

I did a 2 hour yoga class yesterday.  it was not solid 2 hours of flow, it was focused on using props (blocks and straps...and even the wall) to reshift your practice to sharpen up your poses.  Not just push for the ultimate twist so you can say "I did it", but really think about aligning the spine and opening the shoulders and gain from the stretch.  I liked it.  I would have never followed through with it, but I signed up and paid for it last week!  I ran home from church, put 2 home made pizzas (dairy free) in the oven and told my husband to take them out...then ran to the yoga class.  I was too tired to walk.  I really prefer to walk if I can, esp in the winter on weekends, because I like the sunshine.  I can't get home early enough during the week to walk in the daylight. 

so far rest last evening helped my knee, so i am planning on hot yoga after work.  We shall see.  Hope you get some sun on your face today and don't get overwhelmed by stuff!

Monday Remind Me Again

10/30/17
Monday Remind Me Again

This morning I am tired and it is cold and gray outside.  I was in a foul mood yesterday, but could not really put my finger on why except really, I allowed myself to focus on the negative.  Stupid petty negative.  Several things I worked on this weekend did not work out like I hoped, I was too busy and doing several things for other people, not what I wanted to do and Sunday I could not get my DGM books to balance and then more on this in a minute.  While my DGM was down at lunch, I got there early to work on her book keeping.  I hate book keeping, esp if it is not my own books.  I think I was hurrying, getting ready for her company and I just did not understand her savings book scribbles, so I postponed finishing the bottom line till she and I have quiet time to work on it together. 

About 1:15 her nephew brought his mother over.  My DGM cannot see or hear hardly at all, so she insists on me or her daughter (PA) being there when she has company.  She is uncomfortable trying to make conversation now and appreciates our keeping the flow going.  I was really glad to see my Great Aunt and give her a couple hugs/kisses and I was even glad to see her son, R.  I find him friendly and easy to talk to.  He is quite funny and I enjoy him very much.  He is my dad's 1st cousin and they were both fond of each other.  Much of the visit included fond memories and misty eyed musings of R. It got awkward when he asked about my half brother.  My DGM at 98, stepped in and carried this part of the conversation.  I just sat awkwardly and felt all my unease and discomfort from 2012 to 2014 come rushing back.  I just stated simply and truthfully that I did not get along with half brother's mom and I don't hear from half brother.  We finished the afternoon with nice conversation and focus on DGM and her SIL, my great aunt.  It ended pleasantly enough, I visited with my DGM a few minutes, then I drove 30 miles home.

I was in a horrid mood.  I still have a lot of bewilderment about what happened and why.  I stopped to visit with my aunts' briefly (my mom's sisters) it was a good interlude because when I got home to my DH, I was no longer in such a foul mood.  Maybe last night, sleeping on it let it process the way it was supposed to.  This morning, I feel ok.  I questioned whether my discomfort was felt by my DGM or her company.  I had a lot of self doubt.  I know R and his sister, N have had difficulties in life.  I relate a lot with N.  I think she carries the weight of her mom's care while her 3 brothers moved to other states.  I am good friends with R daughter,W.  W and and her sister both found themselves step daughters to a later wife of their father, and later half sisters to brothers later in life.  They have all managed to have a relationship with their dad, step mom and half brothers.  I respect that a lot.  When I visit with N and W, we talk about this some.  We also laugh a lot and talk about a lot of other things.  So, basically it is just snippets.  I want to delve into this a little bit with W next time I see her.  It just so happens that she is coming back to town in December and we will all get together. 

Until then, I will think some of the uncomfortable feelings of why my dad moved on and let his wife create a life without my sister and I.  I will think of the young half brother that I don't know and continue to pray earnestly for him and remind myself that while I don't get along with his mother or sister, I am glad he seems to be close to them and have a loving family unit.  Sometimes it is not about me at all. 

After all, if I let myself get melancholy about this 1)  it is water under the bridge with my dad, he is gone.  2)  it affects me and my life and that is not fair to DH.  I have so much to be grateful for, that I don't have room for that old stuff anymore.  3)  I have seen what bitterness can do to other people.  And I am thankful for the reminders I had this weekend and to keep learning, keep growing and keep changing.  I will go to hot yoga tonight and I will more effectively breathe it out and let it go.  After all, I witnessed a man in his 70's accused of being selfish and soft of uncaring (like my own father) take the time to visit his elderly mother, bring her across town just to see her 98 y/o SIL and comfront misty eyed memories, all while being lovely and polite and attentive to 2 of my favorite little old ladies in the world.  I choose to focus on this, rather than my own demons.

While I wait for work this morning, I will enjoy a nice hot cup of tea and listen to the annual Halloween podcasts I enjoy.  Have a great day before Halloween.  I know I will!