Last week I painted my kitchen table and hutch.  Our new pup chewed the corner of the hutch.  DH patched it, but the color was off.  So I picked out some chalk paint on my way home from overnight hiking trip early March before all the coronavirus quarantine started.

Have been going back and forth between contentment and gratitude to stir crazy/how am I going to make it through this summer mentally with all this strangeness.  I have to find outlets during this solitude.  I am honing a structure to my day and I think it is helping me keep perspective and remember all the things I have to be grateful for.  A LOT!

But I did have a cry the other day when I looked at our retirement accounts and we received the news that any assistance from the Fed government is going by returns from 2018.  We will retired at the END of 2018 - so we will likely not get any of our hard earned money back.  PLUS I have already filed and PAID my 2019 taxes.  Sometimes it seems like doing all the right things puts one at a disadvantage.  But I have never been a procrastinator.

Then I got out of my pity party and put a note on my hiking group that if anyone needs help, PM me and I can help them with errands to the story.  Many of them are 10-15 years older than I.  We went to the store for my in laws this weekend was so happy to help them.  They seem to be doing fine - just working in their garden, etc.  Not worried about toilet paper, etc.  My Granny is not doing as well, her mind is just racing and worrying not having any company.  It is sad.  My area has indicated that businesses closed for next 30 days...people are taking that the CDC suggesting it might be through August that people are supposed to stay home...if so our fundraiser of Memorial Weekend will be cancelled.  That is also the month of our reunion.  I just hope that if this quarantine/social distance goes on all summer that we can see the benefits of the flattening of the curve of infected because I can't imaging the economic and mental health implications it will cause our nation.

I also bought through Amazon a wifi extender to see if I can get internet in our guest room so that I can do yoga online classes in the bedroom - we don't really have room enough anywhere else.  I did a nice session Sunday and Tuesday.  I will do another one Thurs and maybe Friday or Saturday.

Rain, rain, rain!

Early this am DH had to get up and drive to the city.  He still has not gotten a doctor in our new area.  To his credit, it is not easy to find someone here.  He also takes a lot of medications and his doctor is very thorough.  But for this trip I really hated to see him drive so early in the dark with the storming going on today.

He called when he got there.  Made it fine.  The weather 3.5 hours north sunny and nice today.  He played golf with his brother.  His brother recently bought my old convertible.  DH took him our paperwork file with all the maintenance stuff, including window sticker.  I also gave him the car cover and my Pontiac hat.  Any chance I have to get rid of something...hahaha

Yesterday and last few days we have sold more stuff (sporting goods, motorcycle, hunting, camping...etc).  I am saving up for my backpacking equipment.  Depending on the events around doing stuff outside and coronavirus CDC recommendations, I am supposed to go on an overnight backpack thing for beginners.  If it is cancelled, I will just hold on the my money for a while and uy things more slowly.  It is crazy his expensive.

Today I cleaned house and washed the dogs.  This is them looking at me through the door while they were outside.

Good Time to Catch Up

I can't believe it's been 3 weeks since I posted.

My favorite uncle passed that week and so I went to the city and stayed with my aunt for a week helping her get services ready and keeping her company.   She is doing ok.  I worry about her.  Losing my uncles income will tighten her budget.   She has a big family and support system.  I hope they keep it up.

I saw my elderly Granny day after her bday couple weeks ago.   She was good.  Now they are not having visitors for the time being.  My Granny is trying to stay positive.

Last week our internet was out for 5 days.   I went ahead and went on a trip (I drove) about 4 hours south with my hiking club to a lake and couple state parks.  There were 20 of us.  We had a good time.  I like the women in the group.

When I got home Thursday I was sick.  So of course I have worried a bit.  But I am pretty sure just allergies and my chronic condition.   No flu symptoms.   I have been getting lots of rest.

Saturday we stocked up on groceries.  Bought pantry stuff and also lots of fresh fruit and veggies.  We are just staying home as much as we can next 2 to 4 weeks.  Yesterday and today was dreary and gray/drizzling.  I walked anyway.  Going to try to stay active and enjoy some solitude. 

I am eager to get my plants outside and plant some veggies...wont be long!

Until then we are enjoying chilly evenings and a fire on our wood stove and projects inside.

Stay well!

Exhausted and Depressed

I am exhausted and depressed.  I just got back from quick trip to the city to help my Granny and be with my aunt a little bit.  My uncle dying.  She is caring for him at home.  I was happy to see him, he is still responding a little and spend time supporting her.  But now I am just depleted.

I had lost 4 or 5 pounds before I left, I tried very hard while gone to continue the same eating plan.  Now it is all back - in 3 days!  I am tired, my tummy hurts and I just want to sleep.

This time of the year is hard for my anyway.  My mom and late husband died in early March.  But this year I was determined not to let this creep into my psyche and overcome this tendency to think about it.  Last year I woke up one morning in late February with a very sore shoulder and it was sore for 2 months!  I even went to the chiropractor.  Maybe that was the beginning of part of my weight gain.  Is it almost inevitable that one gains weight in retirement?  I am really struggling with this.  Maybe that is just the most obvious thing to focus all my frustration on.

I also have a couple of friends who are really bringing my down.  I don't want to be friends anymore but I have avoided confrontation for over a year.  I have known these gals since 3rd grade.  Instead of mellowing in middle age, they are getting more judgmental and nosey...and talk about people behind their backs!

We have a cancer charity we started in our hometown and we have a fundraiser coming up in May.  I had previously started a charity in my city I used to live in for stray animals, so I helped with the paperwork and 501c3 for this cancer charity.  Now I just want far away from anything these other people are involved in so that I can focus on my mental health.  Maybe the physical will follow my mental health healing.  I do have a chronic autoimmune conditions, so that is a special consideration in my life.

My plan is going to unfold as follows.  I will go along for another 3 months as secretary and get through the fundraiser.  Then I will ask for a replacement and ease out.  I think I need to just focus on being retired and in my new state (that I LOVE) and just be still and learn to be alone and no distractions.  I am coming to the belief that these girls do not have my best interests so I am not going to try and have a big talk or get to an understanding of what I want, I am just going to drift.  I tried this last year but one of the girls is always inviting me to church stuff.  The wrinkle is one gal lives 30 miles from me!  Uggggghhhh.  I have owned my house here since 2014.  She just moved last year to be closer to her mom.  Isn't life funny sometimes.

So I Have Been Busy Again

So I have been busy.  Chiefs winning the Super Bowl.  We watched from home.  This was after I came back from whirlwind trip to city to see my cousin whose mom died (my great aunt and my Granny's best friend). She was 95.

Then I got to see my Uncle who went on hospice and support my aunt.  I am so happy my uncle got to witness another Super Bowl win for his beloved Chiefs.

Then I had to turn around after the visit and pack and go to my Great Aunt's funeral back at the lake in my hometown.  It was nice to see my cousins and all our family from all over...Texas, Colorado, Ariona, Georgia, Missouri...  My sister and my cousins and I rented an Airbnb with a pretty view.

Then we did get to enjoy Super Bowl from our own home, DH and I (and our dogs!),

I have also been lucky enough to enjoy some pretty hikes lately.

I am getting spring fever.

This is what over $100 gets for a funeral now a days.  Crazy.

The Chiefs are going to the big game!

After 50 years, we are going back to the Super Bowl.  The last time this happened I was an infant.

What a ride.  The game against the Titans was a good game.  It seemed like it went quickly and then again it seemed like it took forever.

Happy Martin Luther King day.  A bunch of happy people in KC.  We watched from afar and felt just as much pride.

Today we are having a low key day.  I am making dinner for my in laws tonight.  My MILhas not been feeling well and is having some tests today and tomorrow.  I have a pork roast in the crock pot and I am making a big dish of mac and cheese and home grown green beans.

Have a great day!

cookies for breakfast

Sometimes you just gotta have cookies for breakfast.  I have done well all week, then no plans for breakfast today and since I am doing intermittent fasting, when I work out and then wait till noon to eat - I was starving and they were just starting at me.  The plain old cheapo store bought sandwich cookies.  Very boring.  But I am one of those who hates to waste food, so I grabbed the 6 or 8 left and just wolfed them down.  Booooooooo.

At least I have a plan for dinner.  Fish and baked potatoes, veggies.  And I am using the left of the broth (frozen - defrosting now) from Thanksgiving turkey.  Will puree with some roasted red peppers and have a yummy soup with lots of vitamin C.

Yesterday I was planning to drive to city to see my sick uncle and my dear grandmother, but the forcecast is yucky so I postponed.  Since I had front loaded my workouts and chores early in the week, my husband and I enjoyed staying home and watching Downton Abbey movie.  It was good.  Now we are watching The Crown.

I hope you are warm and cozy where you are.  If you have been very good, enjoy a little cookie treat with me.  Here are my newest 3 dogs I am getting there photos printed to put on my shelf with my current doggie and my doggie Chico who passed in Oct.  The last one is Chico.

ct.  I still miss him.