Today is Saturday. I have my girlfriend, T coming. She is from the city where we used to meet. We met over a mutual love of coffee, about 15 years ago. Her DH also rode motorcycles, and the 4 of us went on a few rides together. Then in 2009 I got my license and my own bike. T got her license and her bike a few years ago. I have not told T I have my bike listed for sale.
She was going to come down the weekend of my birthday, last weekend, but she had to make up for some time away from work. She had the flue bad enough, she had to go the er.
I look forward to talking to her about that and about yoga. We started yoga together about 7 years ago. I also look forward to talking about doing a yoga retreat next year. And going back to the city first week of April and going to our old yoga studio together. I am glad I am skipping yoga today, my shoulder continues to be really persistent in giving me pain and numbness. I have been the to chiro twice, and will go couple more times before our road trip next week.
Another thing I look forward to is talking to her about what I am struggling with a little bit. I will talk about it here in the future. I have not talked to another person, except my sister. This is sort of related to me having my bike listed for sale. I want to continue to condense our "stuff", liquidate and focus on having some fun experiences. Sometimes I feel like DH is with me, sometimes I feel like he wants other things.
He did dig deep and agree to list some extra things, like some expensive watches, a couple sets of gold clubs and an expensive coat. But he continues to shop and it makes me feel very uncomfortable. If he is just shopping to curate and condense, I am ok. If he is not being honest about just condensing what we have and curating, but continues to aimlessly shop we will have a big problem. Even doing that, frustrates me because he shows no such enthusiasm for doing things, improving his health or home related stuff. I shop too, but I have the same enthusiasm for home projects, working in the yard, setting up our garden, hiking, crocheting, yoga, etc.
We both spend too much time on our phones! Lol. Well, I do have to remember that things don't change overnight. This is a big adjustment and I am trying to be patient for one year.
What are you all struggling with? Anything you can related to?
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Saturday, March 16, 2019
Saturday, December 29, 2018
Keeping Score
It was a nice coincidence this morning that my inspirational emails were both about similar thing. Motives and Keeping Score. Maybe the true coincidence is timing.
Spending a lot of time with family can leave one feeling a lot of emotions. I myself feel a lot of emotions. Esp this year. Maybe because we are retired and i do not have the distractions of work and career. Maybe because I always miss my mom during the holidays. Maybe because of the evolution of social media. It is easy to fall into the pattern of comparing oneself. One of my friends calls it comparing my insides to others outsides. I suppose I still do that. Its probably human nature. I have some friends who are fully involved in social media. I have some friends who fervently avoid it. I try to keep a happy medium. Enjoy the keeping in touch aspect, follow some bloggers and fashion instagrams, connecting with others I might not otherwise, seeing peoples families grow up. Some groups on Facebook that I get a lot of inspiration from. But avoid the negative pitfalls...There are a lot of them: comparison, gossip, judgment, fakeness, superficiality, time wasting...not to mention the things I might be accomplishing if I were not on social media. But I do find myself having much more free time now...And actually I am on social media less often that when I was bored at work all day.
Anyway, back to the score keeping. It basically goes to the hard of one's motives. The gift giving aspect of Christmas is very much deserving of at least a consideration of our motives. That is an entire separate discussion. I went to Silver Dollar City with a friend and her mom and sister Thursday. It was really nice. We walked around and looked at the shops and went to a musical. Then we took in the lights and the lights were fantastic! I got to watch a bit of glass blowing and pottery spinning. I loved it. Just the drive alone was breathtaking! I also enjoyed the company and conversation. My friends' mom commented that her neighbor brings them lost of baked treats. And if they take her something, she immediately gives something in return. I know a couple of relatives like that. I think I am a little like that. It is positive, I want to do nice things for others, esp when they have done something for me. But the real reason we do for others is because that is what love is. I will not really change my attitude toward this, but I will be mindful of my motives and most importantly, not expect anything back.
Many things are changing now that we are retired. One of those things is plenty of time for reflection. This time of the year I seem to take some time to reflect more. It will be interesting to see how this is New Years time goes now that I am less busy. I think the big difference is that I am looking forward to a new year more than ever. I am looking forward to doing more things with DH. Big things like travel and new interests, but even just fine tuning our day to day routine.
He is gone all weekend hunting and I really miss him. No deer yet, but he is going to stay until Monday if he still has not gotten one. I want him to enjoy himself, but I don't really want another deer. One is plenty. I guess we will just be generous if he gets another. He does want to be home to ring in the New Year with his baby. Until then, we are limited to sending emails and PM (on social media - how ironic!)
Hope you all are having a great weekend. Are you thinking of the New Year? Any big plans? Small plans? Mindfulness or intentions? I usually pick a word. Mine is "receive". I chose a very passive word intentionally. I am changing already!
Spending a lot of time with family can leave one feeling a lot of emotions. I myself feel a lot of emotions. Esp this year. Maybe because we are retired and i do not have the distractions of work and career. Maybe because I always miss my mom during the holidays. Maybe because of the evolution of social media. It is easy to fall into the pattern of comparing oneself. One of my friends calls it comparing my insides to others outsides. I suppose I still do that. Its probably human nature. I have some friends who are fully involved in social media. I have some friends who fervently avoid it. I try to keep a happy medium. Enjoy the keeping in touch aspect, follow some bloggers and fashion instagrams, connecting with others I might not otherwise, seeing peoples families grow up. Some groups on Facebook that I get a lot of inspiration from. But avoid the negative pitfalls...There are a lot of them: comparison, gossip, judgment, fakeness, superficiality, time wasting...not to mention the things I might be accomplishing if I were not on social media. But I do find myself having much more free time now...And actually I am on social media less often that when I was bored at work all day.
Anyway, back to the score keeping. It basically goes to the hard of one's motives. The gift giving aspect of Christmas is very much deserving of at least a consideration of our motives. That is an entire separate discussion. I went to Silver Dollar City with a friend and her mom and sister Thursday. It was really nice. We walked around and looked at the shops and went to a musical. Then we took in the lights and the lights were fantastic! I got to watch a bit of glass blowing and pottery spinning. I loved it. Just the drive alone was breathtaking! I also enjoyed the company and conversation. My friends' mom commented that her neighbor brings them lost of baked treats. And if they take her something, she immediately gives something in return. I know a couple of relatives like that. I think I am a little like that. It is positive, I want to do nice things for others, esp when they have done something for me. But the real reason we do for others is because that is what love is. I will not really change my attitude toward this, but I will be mindful of my motives and most importantly, not expect anything back.
Many things are changing now that we are retired. One of those things is plenty of time for reflection. This time of the year I seem to take some time to reflect more. It will be interesting to see how this is New Years time goes now that I am less busy. I think the big difference is that I am looking forward to a new year more than ever. I am looking forward to doing more things with DH. Big things like travel and new interests, but even just fine tuning our day to day routine.
He is gone all weekend hunting and I really miss him. No deer yet, but he is going to stay until Monday if he still has not gotten one. I want him to enjoy himself, but I don't really want another deer. One is plenty. I guess we will just be generous if he gets another. He does want to be home to ring in the New Year with his baby. Until then, we are limited to sending emails and PM (on social media - how ironic!)
Hope you all are having a great weekend. Are you thinking of the New Year? Any big plans? Small plans? Mindfulness or intentions? I usually pick a word. Mine is "receive". I chose a very passive word intentionally. I am changing already!
Saturday, October 27, 2018
Don't You Just Love Befores and Afters!?
"My heart is related to my relationship with my creator...That means my heart is attached to truth, wisdom, strength, healing and so much more. It demands that the messages filtering through my heart must first pass through my faith."
Suzie Eller, Proverbs 31. Yesterday Amy Carroll wrote about elbow room we get when we lose something. Something changes and we have room for growth.
I am essentially a Before and an After.
Something changed for me yesterday. I was so tired after trimming our 2nd wisteria arbor, that I could barely make it to dinner my my dear inlaws. But I muddled through (Mexican food, yum).
I have been gradually cutting more meat out of my meals (health and budget) and so I was starving last night. We ate dinner and I was asleep on the couch 9.30pm!
This is a huge time of change for DH and I. We have room to make some changes, some growth.
Some changes I have gone through previously in life have left room. When my mom and my DLH SCG died, I had room to grow, for sure. When I got my degrees...when I figured out children were not in my future...when I adopted pets...when my Dad died...
I am learning that if I remember I am not the center of the universe, I can listen and let my faith guide my heart. Right now, I am mostly getting to know myself, which might seem weird to someone reading.
But my entire life I have stayed busy and employed many distractions to avoid looking inward. But as I was falling asleep again after I got off the couch, brushed my teeth, washed my face and put my lotion on...I realized how blessed I am to get to know my DH more during this shift of life.
He quickly offered to drive his folks to the other side of the county Monday for a Dr appt. His folks relieved to accept the gesture, him quick to offer and myself completely in agreement. I just love my in laws so much. And I am blessed to have them.
What changed to give you elbow room? What are you learning lately?
Suzie Eller, Proverbs 31. Yesterday Amy Carroll wrote about elbow room we get when we lose something. Something changes and we have room for growth.
I am essentially a Before and an After.
Something changed for me yesterday. I was so tired after trimming our 2nd wisteria arbor, that I could barely make it to dinner my my dear inlaws. But I muddled through (Mexican food, yum).
I have been gradually cutting more meat out of my meals (health and budget) and so I was starving last night. We ate dinner and I was asleep on the couch 9.30pm!
This is a huge time of change for DH and I. We have room to make some changes, some growth.
Some changes I have gone through previously in life have left room. When my mom and my DLH SCG died, I had room to grow, for sure. When I got my degrees...when I figured out children were not in my future...when I adopted pets...when my Dad died...
I am learning that if I remember I am not the center of the universe, I can listen and let my faith guide my heart. Right now, I am mostly getting to know myself, which might seem weird to someone reading.
But my entire life I have stayed busy and employed many distractions to avoid looking inward. But as I was falling asleep again after I got off the couch, brushed my teeth, washed my face and put my lotion on...I realized how blessed I am to get to know my DH more during this shift of life.
He quickly offered to drive his folks to the other side of the county Monday for a Dr appt. His folks relieved to accept the gesture, him quick to offer and myself completely in agreement. I just love my in laws so much. And I am blessed to have them.
What changed to give you elbow room? What are you learning lately?
Wednesday, April 11, 2018
J...Junction
http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/?m=1
I am at a junction in my life and I can't wait to turn and start down the different path! I hate the feeling of wishing time away and I have to be careful that I don't obsess on it. But I am so ready for a change. I have barely slept the past 3 weeks I have been so stressed about my dogs and about getting the house show ready and getting pictures of it to list. Then last night I became obsessed with another thought - I need to get photos to make flyers to have ready for people who drive by! Another thing on my to do list!
And my older male dog is just so restless and thirsty at night. He whines and wakes me up several times a night wanting to drink water and go outside. Well, in CH we do not have a fenced yard so I either have to put him on a leash or walk out with him and keep an eye on him. Then the little girl dog wakes up and wants to go too! Then we all have to try to sleep again. A few nights when I have waken up, I can't get back to sleep because I am hungry...ugh. Here I am at work today and I wish I had some of those glasses like Homer Simpson that he could put on and when he closed his eyes, the glasses looked like his eyes were still open! HA
Here is a photo of my two dogs. The female is down below, the male on the back of my chair. They love to be covered up. Since they have been sick, they have both been very needing. And Chihuahuas are pretty needy anyway, especially rescue Chihuahuas!
Anyway, it has got me to thinking. Since we are moving for sure October 1st. What big deal would it be if I move as soon as the house sells? Then the dogs would have a fenced yard and I could get my kitty back from my friend who lives 3 hours away. I don't think the kitty is doing well. She is too old to adjust to other cats. I really thought she would be ok, because she likes other people and animals so much, but she is just hanging out in their bathroom. I really just think this is part of how I transition to such a big change...obsess and worry about it and brainstorm.
It will all work out. The important thing is that things are going to change BIG. SOON. I need to enjoy my day to day. I am going to start with buying some puppy pads at the store tonight after work and see if I can persuade the male dog to sleep next to our bed, instead of on it. Wish me luck.
I am at a junction in my life and I can't wait to turn and start down the different path! I hate the feeling of wishing time away and I have to be careful that I don't obsess on it. But I am so ready for a change. I have barely slept the past 3 weeks I have been so stressed about my dogs and about getting the house show ready and getting pictures of it to list. Then last night I became obsessed with another thought - I need to get photos to make flyers to have ready for people who drive by! Another thing on my to do list!
And my older male dog is just so restless and thirsty at night. He whines and wakes me up several times a night wanting to drink water and go outside. Well, in CH we do not have a fenced yard so I either have to put him on a leash or walk out with him and keep an eye on him. Then the little girl dog wakes up and wants to go too! Then we all have to try to sleep again. A few nights when I have waken up, I can't get back to sleep because I am hungry...ugh. Here I am at work today and I wish I had some of those glasses like Homer Simpson that he could put on and when he closed his eyes, the glasses looked like his eyes were still open! HA
Here is a photo of my two dogs. The female is down below, the male on the back of my chair. They love to be covered up. Since they have been sick, they have both been very needing. And Chihuahuas are pretty needy anyway, especially rescue Chihuahuas!
Anyway, it has got me to thinking. Since we are moving for sure October 1st. What big deal would it be if I move as soon as the house sells? Then the dogs would have a fenced yard and I could get my kitty back from my friend who lives 3 hours away. I don't think the kitty is doing well. She is too old to adjust to other cats. I really thought she would be ok, because she likes other people and animals so much, but she is just hanging out in their bathroom. I really just think this is part of how I transition to such a big change...obsess and worry about it and brainstorm.
It will all work out. The important thing is that things are going to change BIG. SOON. I need to enjoy my day to day. I am going to start with buying some puppy pads at the store tonight after work and see if I can persuade the male dog to sleep next to our bed, instead of on it. Wish me luck.
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