Naval Gazing

SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is ... . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is.......going all the way.
At age 35 success is . . ..having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . going all the way.
At age 70 success is . . ..having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . ... not peeing in your pants.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD , "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jer 29:11

I have a little nagging thought this morning.  I was with a family member last night, family going through some hard times.  Some fracturing in the family.  Many in the family trying to deal with it head on, some trying to approach at a side angle.  Which is correct?  Maybe my other side of the family tendency all along, to not talk about everything, sometimes don't say anything...is that correct?  Why do I always feel the need to tell my feelings, side, perspective...maybe I should just shut up and listen.  Once something is said, can't be unsaid.  Where did this come from in me?  How do I admire and accept unconditional love if I don't have that as a value too?  Maybe it is some part of my desire to avoid conflict.  Do I walk away too easily...Self actualization starting here?  Maybe this is something I need to delve into...hmmmmmm.  Deep thoughts for Friday the 13th.  OK.  I am done thinking for today.  Hope you have a great Friday!

My Love Hate Relationship with March

I was born in March, so was my mom and my DGM (dad's mom).  It always meant just a peak at spring, after the long winter.  I grew up in the Midwest.  I lived away from the Midwest for 13 years.  I came back 18 years ago.  I still hate winter.  Or maybe I hate trying to get around outside when the weather is icy or snowy. 

The hate part comes from losing my mom in March 1991.  She turned 48 just 4 days prior to her death.  And my late husband SCG died in March 1993.  He was only 32.  Now I have a dear friend, S, who died at 47 in 2014...on March 7.  So yesterday and today I think of her.  I am sure i will write more on S.  I miss her so much.  There are some things i need to unpack there with that.  I will write about that later. 

Tues was dedicated to my DGM.  She turned 99.  After working late, i went over and took her  some fancy cupcakes.  She loved them.  I saved 2 for DH too.  Last year I found this cupcake store when I looked for a special treat to take her for her 98th bday.  She was in the hospital last year.  Almost died.  It was quite a spring last year.

My cousin N who has cancer sent me a frantic text tues to come help her, that her work was screwing around with her.  I had to text her and tell her I could not leave work.  I really need all my hours, things are a bit hectic with time and expenses right now, getting some work done on RH to move in and work on CH to get it sold.  I felt bad on one hand, but sort of annoyed on the other because when I called and texted later, she did not respond.  I have to just focus on my lane and let her follow her journey. 

Anyway.  Sometimes the best thing we can do when we feel like we can barely take care of ourselves is to reach out and "do" for another.  Be an ear for someone else, help someone with something, give someone a ride...maybe even just a text or a call...smile at a stranger.  But get out of our own head!

Last night I went to a hot yoga class...first one since our other instructor left in Nov.  It was good.  I slept very well.  Gonna try to go again tonight.  I don't do 2 in a row a lot.  So, might be a bit challenging.  I would rather walk outside tonight, but is still a bit cool and gets dark too soon.  But the clocks change Sat!

I just read this quote on "the Garden of Pensiveness":  "To strengthen the muscles of your heart, the best exercise is lifting someone else's spirit whenever you can."
   -Dodinsky