This story is similar to my story yesterday, in that it involved an interaction on the highway with a complete stranger. The differences might be very different, or they might not be that different. It is weird...
So a few years later, things are very different for my life. I lived in a different state and I was a bit older, maybe a year, maybe 2 years. But I was driving from my state (I lived in a dry county) to the neighboring state to buy alcohol. I was driving my black Camaro. It was warm, but not hot and it was the weekend, probably Saturday and probably morning-ish.
I had driven to Missouri to buy alcohol for a quiet evening with some friends. I was now a widow, but seeing someone else. I was young still, 28 or so. After my late husband, SCG, passed away I wasted no time. I wanted to quiet the quiet, sad loneliness. So, I started dating within a year (big mistake) with someone I knew from a prior life (bigger mistake?). I only explain this, because it makes a little sense understanding my thought process - well, I KNEW him.
Anyway, I was driving by myself. I know this time I had the windows open because my car was black, it was sunny and even in the spring this car was hot! Because I had no air conditioning in it and because when you drove anywhere, it would heat up and make the entire car hot! Haha, the fun things we do when we are young. But it was a Camaro! Score! Goodbye new import 4 cylinder with working AC and sunroof and automatic transmission.
OK, back to my story...so I had been to the store about 15-20 min from my house and was on my way back. Well, I notice a motorcycle. I don't know how...like if I came up behind him, or vice versa. The motorcycle and I each see one another because one passes the other (I don't remember as clearly as the Alabama car/car story). A LOT had happened in that year/year and a half. So, the motorcycle rider is a male. I don't remember if he wore a helmet, etc. I also had a motorcycle then, but I was just learning and I had never ridden it on the highway. So, I noticed motorcycles...and cars. I was raised a tom-boy - more on that some day.
Anyway, the motorcycle rider is in front of me in the same lane. We are on a 2 lane road, the main highway south from Missouri into Arkansas (540?). He slows down, way down. I move to the left lane and go around without fanfare. He passed me again. He gets over into the right lane in front of me again. He slows down again.
This goes on. It turned from being amusing. To being weird. I was not in fear, but I was confused and not sure what do to. He goes by one last time and I will never forget this - he hits the hood of my car with his hand! Not hard, just smacks it. While he is smiling and looking at me. Well, that was really too much for me. I just wanted to get home now.
So, I recalled the guy in the car in Alabama...and decided just what to do...
At the next exit, which would have been an exit to Rogers. I let the guy get in front of me and I watch the timing with the exit...I pause...I slow...and just as he gets to the point where he could not take the exit, I go right quickly! And I get the end of the off ramp, looking to see if I can see him up ahead and do not, and I turn left. Just for good measure, I take a circuitous route home.
I was not threatened or shook up. Just weirded out. And this was easily 25 years ago. Today I would probably freak out. I also just gave up my age. Oh well. I like the saying about having a past that is not so boring that you have some stories in your old age. And I am quickly on my way to old age!
Friday, August 31, 2018
Thursday, August 30, 2018
Stories from the Vault
I was driving from Huntsville, Alabama to the gulf once upon a time back in the 90's. I lived in Alabama. It was a warm June day, early on a Friday morning. I had taken the day off to have a long weekend. I was meeting a couple other gals for a weekend at the beach. I was a recent widow. I had not taken off my wedding ring yet. I was not ready.
The women I were meeting were also widows, not much older than myself. They both worked for the same company that I did. One woman was about 15 years my senior. Her husband had been a doctor. He performed some procedures that were controversial, still are. He was murdered by a protestor. This was several years prior. The other woman was just a few years older than myself. Her husband had taken his own life, this was a couple years prior. I was 26 years old. They had suggested I come down and go to the beach with them for a long weekend. I suspect now that my boss, BMc, at the time had encouraged this. More about him another time. He was a special guy, a great boss, a mentor I will never forget.
The sun was up in the sky, high enough to start getting warm. I still had my windows and my sunroof open, delaying closing them and turning on the AC until I just could not stand the humidity. I had packed a hat to keep the sun off my face while I was at the beach. I had it on in the car so that my long hair was not blowing so much it would get tangled. I had my favorite pair of Ray Bans on. My late husband, SCG, had introduced me to them. He loved his Wayfarers. I would have never considered spending so much money on a pair of sunglasses, but he wanted to treat me. I loved how sturdy and solid they felt. The polarized lenses brightened up the sky surrounding the sun in a way I have never seen with my cheaper versions.
I shared the road with a large black car, but did not notice much other traffic. I think it was mid morning on a Friday, so few other cars. I first noticed the car come up behind me in my lane, also going south on I-65. I was in the right lane. The car came up behind me and followed me for a while. After a few minutes, the car pulled over into the left lane and slowly made it's way up next to my car. I noticed in my side mirror, the sun reflect off the shiny car. Seeing the luxury model, I glanced over to admire it. I love cars. My eyes met the eyes of the other driver. We looked at each other for a second. I realized it was a fairly handsome man dressed in a suit. We held eye contact for a second. He went on around me and I admired the beautiful black Cadillac. I enjoyed hearing the throaty V8 exhaust sound as it passed. I usually drive about 5 over the speed limit. I used to drive faster. I used to have one, maybe two radar detectors. My radar detectors were silent. I noticed the man in the Cadillac also had a radar detector. Maybe he drove a lot too.
I had gotten one free and bought the other, expensive gadget a couple years earlier. My mother was ill and dying 600+ miles away in another state and I drove home once a month to see her. I did not speed carelessly, but I did push it just a little late on Friday's on the barren wide open interstate when I would leave work early to get back to my hometown by midnight to spend as much time as I could with my mother. So, my late husband and I decided to get the $300 radar detector to save me delay and tickets.
The black Cadillac moved over into the right lane up ahead of me. The car's speed adjusted to just about what my speed was. I stayed behind and followed along, enjoying the sunshine, the wind and my radio. I was looking forward to seeing the ocean. I kept correcting myself with a chuckle - my late husband always corrected me - the Gulf, he would say. To me, it was as breath taking as any ocean view. So I always called it the ocean.
The first time I ever saw a beach. Years earlier, he took me for my first trip to Florida. I was 22. I will never forget the feeling of awe I had toward it. And toward him. I loved the sound of the waves crashing on the beach, the sunrise and sunsets, the palm trees, the salt spray, the beautiful white sand beaches of the Gulf coast.
This visit was my first time back to the beach since he had died. I had some mixed feelings, but I was trying to focus on the good feelings. The happy memories. I was trying hard not to think about the shock of his death, or the painful journey we had as he discovered his illness, received his diagnosis, began his treatment. There were many beautiful things for me to consider. How he worried about me while he lay in his hospital bed. How he sent me flowers for Valentines Day while he was still in the hospital. He had arranged it weeks before he went to the hospital and had even furnished a hand written card to the florist shop...all in preparation of him being in the hospital for months for a transplant. How he insisted he come home for my birthday, even though the doctors told him it was too soon. How he fell while he was home during my birthday and had to go back to the hospital. How I was torn between trying to work full time, and drive 90 miles one way twice a week to be with him, all while caring for our Golden Retriever, Sunny. How S had bought Sunny as a puppy for me on the first Mother's Day after my mother had died. This was my reverie now. Maybe I was a little distracted, maybe I was feeling wistful at how happy I still could feel about the beach now. About anything. I still kept my attention on the road and on the car in front of me. I soon realized we were almost to Birmingham.
I was stopping in Birmingham to have my car serviced. I was concerned about one of my gauges. So, I decided when I left Huntsville I better have it checked out before the rest of my drive to Florida. I cannot recall who turned on their blinker first, him or me. But we both exited the first main exit to Birmingham.
I pulled up to the stop sign to turn left, back under the interstate to the Acura dealer I could see from the highway. The man in the Cadillac was in the lane to turn right. He rolled his driver side window down and gestured to me. I rolled my passenger side window down. He smiled, a good looking man. He was older than me. I smiled a small smile back, I did not want to be rude, but I did not want to flirt either. He laughed and said he noticed me a ways back on the highway and knew it was crazy, but would I want to have lunch with him. I laughed back and said as tempting as it was, I could not do that. I held up my hand and showed him my wedding ring and laughed saying "I am married, but thank you". He smiled and waived, pulling out to go West and I pulled out and drove East.
The women I were meeting were also widows, not much older than myself. They both worked for the same company that I did. One woman was about 15 years my senior. Her husband had been a doctor. He performed some procedures that were controversial, still are. He was murdered by a protestor. This was several years prior. The other woman was just a few years older than myself. Her husband had taken his own life, this was a couple years prior. I was 26 years old. They had suggested I come down and go to the beach with them for a long weekend. I suspect now that my boss, BMc, at the time had encouraged this. More about him another time. He was a special guy, a great boss, a mentor I will never forget.
The sun was up in the sky, high enough to start getting warm. I still had my windows and my sunroof open, delaying closing them and turning on the AC until I just could not stand the humidity. I had packed a hat to keep the sun off my face while I was at the beach. I had it on in the car so that my long hair was not blowing so much it would get tangled. I had my favorite pair of Ray Bans on. My late husband, SCG, had introduced me to them. He loved his Wayfarers. I would have never considered spending so much money on a pair of sunglasses, but he wanted to treat me. I loved how sturdy and solid they felt. The polarized lenses brightened up the sky surrounding the sun in a way I have never seen with my cheaper versions.
I shared the road with a large black car, but did not notice much other traffic. I think it was mid morning on a Friday, so few other cars. I first noticed the car come up behind me in my lane, also going south on I-65. I was in the right lane. The car came up behind me and followed me for a while. After a few minutes, the car pulled over into the left lane and slowly made it's way up next to my car. I noticed in my side mirror, the sun reflect off the shiny car. Seeing the luxury model, I glanced over to admire it. I love cars. My eyes met the eyes of the other driver. We looked at each other for a second. I realized it was a fairly handsome man dressed in a suit. We held eye contact for a second. He went on around me and I admired the beautiful black Cadillac. I enjoyed hearing the throaty V8 exhaust sound as it passed. I usually drive about 5 over the speed limit. I used to drive faster. I used to have one, maybe two radar detectors. My radar detectors were silent. I noticed the man in the Cadillac also had a radar detector. Maybe he drove a lot too.
I had gotten one free and bought the other, expensive gadget a couple years earlier. My mother was ill and dying 600+ miles away in another state and I drove home once a month to see her. I did not speed carelessly, but I did push it just a little late on Friday's on the barren wide open interstate when I would leave work early to get back to my hometown by midnight to spend as much time as I could with my mother. So, my late husband and I decided to get the $300 radar detector to save me delay and tickets.
The black Cadillac moved over into the right lane up ahead of me. The car's speed adjusted to just about what my speed was. I stayed behind and followed along, enjoying the sunshine, the wind and my radio. I was looking forward to seeing the ocean. I kept correcting myself with a chuckle - my late husband always corrected me - the Gulf, he would say. To me, it was as breath taking as any ocean view. So I always called it the ocean.
The first time I ever saw a beach. Years earlier, he took me for my first trip to Florida. I was 22. I will never forget the feeling of awe I had toward it. And toward him. I loved the sound of the waves crashing on the beach, the sunrise and sunsets, the palm trees, the salt spray, the beautiful white sand beaches of the Gulf coast.
This visit was my first time back to the beach since he had died. I had some mixed feelings, but I was trying to focus on the good feelings. The happy memories. I was trying hard not to think about the shock of his death, or the painful journey we had as he discovered his illness, received his diagnosis, began his treatment. There were many beautiful things for me to consider. How he worried about me while he lay in his hospital bed. How he sent me flowers for Valentines Day while he was still in the hospital. He had arranged it weeks before he went to the hospital and had even furnished a hand written card to the florist shop...all in preparation of him being in the hospital for months for a transplant. How he insisted he come home for my birthday, even though the doctors told him it was too soon. How he fell while he was home during my birthday and had to go back to the hospital. How I was torn between trying to work full time, and drive 90 miles one way twice a week to be with him, all while caring for our Golden Retriever, Sunny. How S had bought Sunny as a puppy for me on the first Mother's Day after my mother had died. This was my reverie now. Maybe I was a little distracted, maybe I was feeling wistful at how happy I still could feel about the beach now. About anything. I still kept my attention on the road and on the car in front of me. I soon realized we were almost to Birmingham.
I was stopping in Birmingham to have my car serviced. I was concerned about one of my gauges. So, I decided when I left Huntsville I better have it checked out before the rest of my drive to Florida. I cannot recall who turned on their blinker first, him or me. But we both exited the first main exit to Birmingham.
I pulled up to the stop sign to turn left, back under the interstate to the Acura dealer I could see from the highway. The man in the Cadillac was in the lane to turn right. He rolled his driver side window down and gestured to me. I rolled my passenger side window down. He smiled, a good looking man. He was older than me. I smiled a small smile back, I did not want to be rude, but I did not want to flirt either. He laughed and said he noticed me a ways back on the highway and knew it was crazy, but would I want to have lunch with him. I laughed back and said as tempting as it was, I could not do that. I held up my hand and showed him my wedding ring and laughed saying "I am married, but thank you". He smiled and waived, pulling out to go West and I pulled out and drove East.
Wednesday, August 29, 2018
Stories from the Vault - Postponed
I referenced a couple of stories about my experience with strangers while driving - 2 of them I can think of off the top of my head. I will write about them tomorrow.
Today, I want to write about 2 families on my mind...I posted a LONG post. Then came back and curated considerably.
Relative with stage 4 cancer diagnosis. She is doing amazing. Mass in her lung is gone, as are the other tumors in liver, lymph nodes and couple other places. It is a miracle!
She can barely breathe, so tenuous her understanding and comprehension. She says she will celebrate at her 1 year mark...So amazing.
On the other hand...her son is in his 20's. Did not know his father. He is very smart, but just no "gumption".
Relative had some issues in her life, she will be the first to admit. But she always worked hard. She had a great father. At one point she was very successful in her career, making over 6 figures. But after some relationship issues, a big geographic move and some job insecurity...ended up essentially scraping by job to job, no savings left, and barely kept her house, which is pretty run down and too big for her to properly care for.
Well, when she got ill. Her family has tried to be supportive. We all tried to be there for her and J her son. We all tried to gently comfort J while simultaneously encouraging him to "man up", the brothers tried to mentor him. The problem is...we are all located distantly, busy working/caring for our families and have not been around him enough to naturally foster such personal relationships. It is hard to "start" now from many miles away. Any ideas?
At one point, she even encouraged us via group text to not let him feel abandonded, should she die. I have tried a couple of times, not really knowing what to do and not getting any response in return. What can I do now? I admit, I feel distant partly because I just don't respect his bad choices. But I do sincerely pray for and want the best for them both.
Well, evidently now the son and his mother had a falling out. She explained that after he left in a hurry, she inspected his room and found it covered in trash. Items she found troubling. She even texted me pictures - it was shocking to me. Mom wants to sell this house that is too big and get moved into a smaller place but she worries about J. J meanwhile is just piling trash in his room and not helping enough. I told her (gently and with great emphasis on the disclaimer) - I HAVE NO CHILDREN - that she needs to cut the cord for his own good too.
So, clearly this guy has issues...it is really sad.
Another sort of related topic...I have a family member whose husband was in a bad car accident recently. Likely his fault, their only car. He is similar in affect to J, smart and wants to tell you how smart he is, sort of anti society. Well he was hurt badly. I think the passenger and the other driver are OK.
Many issues about accident I wont go into...What if S and JD have no money saved up for emergencies? Oh, these poor choices. These 2 examples are not isolated...it is sad and scary.
Lord if someone is hurting today, please visit them and embrace and comfort them. Amen.
Did I mention that neither J or JD have any spirituality - no experience in nature, no meditation/solitude, no exercise, no artistic outlet. No humility, I guess. I think my gumption came from humility, which unfortunately came from humiliation - my father's way of cultivating obedience. But does it have to come from there? Do we have to feel small before we can see the big picture?
Tuesday, August 28, 2018
Caution
I saw a social media post about a jogger who was followed by a man in a car. I have seen quite a few of these lately, usually in rural Midwest, small county roads - women in cars followed by men in cars. Supposedly single females being followed by single men in cars with no licence plates. The men in cars engaging in strange behavior, such as photographing the women, passing them, then slowing down to be passed, then repeating. This happened to me couple times when I was a young woman. Maybe I will write about them tomorrow.
I have seen posts in the past about walkers and joggers being followed, over the past few years. I wish I could point to some national story that might have been the inspiration...There have been some national news stories about this. A woman in California taken and then later she escaped. Several stories about joggers back East.
Then this post I saw last night. This post was in my old neighborhood of our city house. This is the 2nd such incident in 2 months in this same 2 block area. There was a local news story last night about this woman who did the social media post. She reports that a man in an SUV was parked and when she jogged by, he drove down and cut through at a turn and came up the side she was jogging on. By then, she joined another jogger and the SUV then left.
I walk there still while we are in extended stay hotel. The hotel is on an outer road with no shoulder, so I felt it was too dangerous to walk near the hotel. So, I have been driving over to my old neighborhood and walking. Now I am not so sure. I told DH the other day that I often see cars go by and then go by again, I thought not much about it. Now I have doubts. DH says he will walk with me after retirement. I guess I better have him join me now. But I cannot find anyone who wants to walk as much or as far as I do. And I will walk in hot or cold. Makes me sad. I really need my walks. Walking helps me get vitamin D, helps me stay trim and lets me eat what I want, helps me clear my mind, creates neurotransmitters, gives me solitude. If I keep walking, I will stop listening to my books, which is a big part of what I enjoyed. Guess I can't have it all.
When I walked last night, I also saw a vehicle stopped by a road that did not continue (like where you see the signs with red diamonds). The vehicle was running and there was a man sitting in it. DH said maybe the man was watching his wife jog - I did see several other women jogging. If DH won't/can't keep up with me - I guess I will just have to have him go with me and at least sit in his car and watch me. Crazy isn't it?!
I guess I may try to go to yoga tonight. It is worth the $15 per time. If I cannot walk outside, I just don't know what I would do. I guess in my little small town usa retirement town, I will walk laps around town instead of walking out in the middle of nowhere. But part of the appeal of where I walked here in the suburbs was seeing nature, birds, critters...etc.
I wonder if this is some sort of worry phenomenon or if there really is more young women being followed. This hysteria on the heels of the girl missing and then found dead in Iowa? What do you guys think? I do not walk without protection, I will just leave that at that. But I am still just a middle aged woman, no match for a strong man or men. It really makes me wonder.
I have seen posts in the past about walkers and joggers being followed, over the past few years. I wish I could point to some national story that might have been the inspiration...There have been some national news stories about this. A woman in California taken and then later she escaped. Several stories about joggers back East.
Then this post I saw last night. This post was in my old neighborhood of our city house. This is the 2nd such incident in 2 months in this same 2 block area. There was a local news story last night about this woman who did the social media post. She reports that a man in an SUV was parked and when she jogged by, he drove down and cut through at a turn and came up the side she was jogging on. By then, she joined another jogger and the SUV then left.
I walk there still while we are in extended stay hotel. The hotel is on an outer road with no shoulder, so I felt it was too dangerous to walk near the hotel. So, I have been driving over to my old neighborhood and walking. Now I am not so sure. I told DH the other day that I often see cars go by and then go by again, I thought not much about it. Now I have doubts. DH says he will walk with me after retirement. I guess I better have him join me now. But I cannot find anyone who wants to walk as much or as far as I do. And I will walk in hot or cold. Makes me sad. I really need my walks. Walking helps me get vitamin D, helps me stay trim and lets me eat what I want, helps me clear my mind, creates neurotransmitters, gives me solitude. If I keep walking, I will stop listening to my books, which is a big part of what I enjoyed. Guess I can't have it all.
When I walked last night, I also saw a vehicle stopped by a road that did not continue (like where you see the signs with red diamonds). The vehicle was running and there was a man sitting in it. DH said maybe the man was watching his wife jog - I did see several other women jogging. If DH won't/can't keep up with me - I guess I will just have to have him go with me and at least sit in his car and watch me. Crazy isn't it?!
I guess I may try to go to yoga tonight. It is worth the $15 per time. If I cannot walk outside, I just don't know what I would do. I guess in my little small town usa retirement town, I will walk laps around town instead of walking out in the middle of nowhere. But part of the appeal of where I walked here in the suburbs was seeing nature, birds, critters...etc.
I wonder if this is some sort of worry phenomenon or if there really is more young women being followed. This hysteria on the heels of the girl missing and then found dead in Iowa? What do you guys think? I do not walk without protection, I will just leave that at that. But I am still just a middle aged woman, no match for a strong man or men. It really makes me wonder.
Monday, August 27, 2018
Before and During
Kitchen lighting as it is now. I still have to wait to get my under cabinet lighting installed. The electricians are coming back Friday. DH and I going back down for Labor Day, but we had not intended to take another Friday off work, so MIL and FIL will let electricians in Friday and they have a check to pay them, if they are finished before we get there 5ish.
Here are couple photos. 
At the top, slightly left of center, you can see the one of the old can lights. They have plastic trim rings which have turned dingy gold yellow. We replaced the trim rings for $5/a piece and LED bulbs for $8 each and there were 5 of them. They are so much brighter now!
We took down the old pendant over the sink and put brass pendants. They are full size, with clear globes. We thought they would look cool with the old time looking bulbs. They are not terribly bright, but the can lights are, plus we will have LED strings under all the cabinets, including the range hood and they will be on single wall switch, so I can just flip them on easily. Should really help brighten up my workspace.
The walls in the kitchen were a light dingy pink, original from 1996 or 97. I painted them a warm gray which contrasted nice with the white cabinets, but does darken even more. So, the lighting is a big deal in the kitchen. They brighter flooring (that we had not planned on, LOL) helps brighten it up too.
We also took a can light out and added a pendant over the breakfast nook table and wired it separately, so we can sit there with just some nice ambient light if we want.
I just love them. Someday if we need really bright lights, we can switch out for traditional LED lights and have up to 100 watts in each pendant.
Well, back to work this morning. Gotta pay for all this. Hope you have a great Monday!
At the top, slightly left of center, you can see the one of the old can lights. They have plastic trim rings which have turned dingy gold yellow. We replaced the trim rings for $5/a piece and LED bulbs for $8 each and there were 5 of them. They are so much brighter now!
We took down the old pendant over the sink and put brass pendants. They are full size, with clear globes. We thought they would look cool with the old time looking bulbs. They are not terribly bright, but the can lights are, plus we will have LED strings under all the cabinets, including the range hood and they will be on single wall switch, so I can just flip them on easily. Should really help brighten up my workspace.
The walls in the kitchen were a light dingy pink, original from 1996 or 97. I painted them a warm gray which contrasted nice with the white cabinets, but does darken even more. So, the lighting is a big deal in the kitchen. They brighter flooring (that we had not planned on, LOL) helps brighten it up too.
Well, back to work this morning. Gotta pay for all this. Hope you have a great Monday!
Sunday, August 26, 2018
Grain Moon
The Old Farmers Almanac gives the Native American names for each month's full moon. The Native Americans named them to track the seasons. Tonight is Grain Moon.
The corn here in the midwest is tall and close to harvest, but not quite ready. It is still green, so it is also known as The Green Corn Moon.
We spent some time admiring the corn as we drove home to the city to get in another week of work. We also have enjoyed seeing the moon this weekend. I came home and went to the store, grateful my food gathering is as easy as driving to a store. I can imagine for the Native Americans, it was time to gather as much as they could to both process and preserve it, along with the wild game they hunted to get ready for the fall and winter.
I walked after I fixed dinner and fixed lunches for Monday and Tues. I cut it close, sunset is now 8pm. Days start to get noticeably shorter now.
DH and I both had headaches this weekend, fatigue and aches and pains...sort of grouchy we both were. My back is also giving me fits making me think I need to tighten up my diet and get back to yoga soon. Native Americans and early settlers did a lot of physical labor and moving around. Today, our culture benefits from so much convenience, they we have come too far the other way. DH and I sit long hours at computers at our jobs. We need to keep moving. My 5 mile walk felt wonderful.
Going to bed, so my body can rest up. Happy Grain moon to you.
Saturday, August 25, 2018
Retirement Practice
Went to bed early to be ready for yoga, but just could not get up this morning. I decided it is OK to relax. I have barely relaxed the last 4 years, so I intend to learn.
Today we are gonna take it easy and drive the convertible over to see the golf course we will be using most down here.
Later we will go see the in laws!
Everybody have a great Saturday!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)