Stories from the Vault - Postponed

I referenced a couple of stories about my experience with strangers while driving - 2 of them I can think of off the top of my head.  I will write about them tomorrow.

Today, I want to write about 2 families on my mind...I posted a LONG post.  Then came back and curated considerably. 

Relative with stage 4 cancer diagnosis.  She is doing amazing.  Mass in her lung is gone, as are the other tumors in liver, lymph nodes and couple other places.  It is a miracle! 

She can barely breathe, so tenuous her understanding and comprehension.  She says she will celebrate at her 1 year mark...So amazing. 

On the other hand...her son is in his 20's.  Did not know his father.  He is very smart, but just no "gumption".

Relative had some issues in her life, she will be the first to admit.  But she always worked hard.  She had a great father.  At one point she was very successful in her career, making over 6 figures.  But after some relationship issues, a big geographic move and some job insecurity...ended up essentially scraping by job to job, no savings left, and barely kept her house, which is pretty run down and too big for her to properly care for. 

Well, when she got ill.  Her family has tried to be supportive.  We all tried to be there for her and J her son.  We all tried to gently comfort J while simultaneously encouraging him to "man up", the brothers tried to mentor him.  The problem is...we are all located distantly, busy working/caring for our families and have not been around him enough to naturally foster such personal relationships.  It is hard to "start" now from many miles away.  Any ideas?

At one point, she even encouraged us via group text to not let him feel abandonded, should she die.  I have tried a couple of times, not really knowing what to do and not getting any response in return.  What can I do now?  I admit, I feel distant partly because I just don't respect his bad choices.  But I do sincerely pray for and want the best for them both.

Well, evidently now the son and his mother had a falling out.  She explained that after he left in a hurry, she inspected his room and found it covered in trash.  Items she found troubling.  She even texted me pictures - it was shocking to me.  Mom wants to sell this house that is too big and get moved into a smaller place but she worries about J.  J meanwhile is just piling trash in his room and not helping enough.  I told her (gently and with great emphasis on the disclaimer) - I HAVE NO CHILDREN - that she needs to cut the cord for his own good too. 

So, clearly this guy has issues...it is really sad. 

Another sort of related topic...I have a family member whose husband was in a bad car accident recently.  Likely his fault,  their only car.  He is similar in affect to J, smart and wants to tell you how smart he is, sort of anti society.  Well he was hurt badly.  I think the passenger and the other driver are OK. 

Many issues about accident I wont go into...What if S and JD have no money saved up for emergencies?  Oh, these poor choices.  These 2 examples are not isolated...it is sad and scary. 

Lord if someone is hurting today, please visit them and embrace and comfort them.  Amen.

Did I mention that neither J or JD have any spirituality - no experience in nature, no meditation/solitude, no exercise, no artistic outlet.  No humility, I guess.  I think my gumption came from humility, which unfortunately came from humiliation - my father's way of cultivating obedience.  But does it have to come from there?  Do we have to feel small before we can see the big picture? 

Fall Reflection

10/31/17
One of the things I had problems getting done this past weekend was canning 6 quarts of apple pie filling.  It was hard because the recipe I had called for the hot liquid to be poured into the jars over the cut up apple.  So, you have to sterilize the jars and then put the apples in and then make the liquid.  When I was stirring the liquid, it got hot and bubbly and then can quickly boil over.  I had not used many quart jars before and when I had 6 in the hot bath canner, it is REALLY full.  Anyway, I got it done, but had to do the entire process twice because they did not seal the first time.  It also takes a lonnnnnggggg time to bring 6 full quarts to a rolling boil and let it process for a full 25 min.  Whew.  So I tasted the syrup and I think it is going to make some really good pies!  I also froze 3 quarts and another quart of just the syrup.  Hope this works!  I spent a long time cutting and pealing.  My hand was arthritic practically!

Passage from the latest book I am listening to made me have a light-bulb moment last week.  I mull it over a little each day since to let it process.  The book is called Strangers Tend to Tell Me Things, by Amy Dickinson (of Ask Amy column).  She talks about how her father left her family when she was young and she felt that by her father always telling her early in life that she was in his circle and making a big distinction opposed to people that were not in his circle, by leaving, he was poignantly telling her she was not anyone who mattered.  My F did this too.  It made quite an impression on my, walking down the sidewalk, hurrying toward home as the sun was setting last Thursday...