HNY!

This is a special year for me.  This year my DGM made it through an illness and hospital stay just after her 98th bday.  I turned 50 this year and my DH is retiring next year, making 2017 our last full year (& last winter) in this city/state.  We celebrated our 10 year amniversary and 10 years in this house.  It has been awesome, we love our house.  However, we are ready to downsize.

In 2018, i am going to try to stop saying downsize and say rightsize.  I am not into making resolutions to feel bad about not keeping, but I am into sharpening and focusing my intentions.  There is a lot of power into writing down our goals. 

My word next year is "abide".  As we move toward a huge life transition, I want to abide in the present.  I also want to abide in whatever I experience, not tune out with distractions.  But most of all, I have been learning in church to "abide" with Christ in my daily life.

I hope you feel joy and hope as you abide in 2018!  Thank you for stopping by.

In and Out of My Comfort Zone

I work 4 ten hour days the week after a Monday holiday off.  Yesterday I worked 10 hours and then went home and changed and went to a new to me yoga class.  Well, that is after DH and I cleaned several areas where our older male dog had had...er, difficulties with his daily routine...I had noticed Sunday he was having issues when I walked him couple of times, but did not notice the last time I walked him.  Poor guy.  Hope he is ok today. 

Well, the yoga instructor must be a doctor or physical therapist.  He was really good at vocalizing ways to focus our poses.  It was a great class!  I am feeling it today, but that is a good sign.  When I walked in and put my matt down and was doing a bit of stretching, he asked me if I had done "ashtanga" before.  I just looked at him for a second and said "I am really not sure, not sure I know what that means".  Haha.  A woman I recognized from another class said, she was sure I had, as she had seen me in other classes with her.  Well, if I had, I had not much.  But I can see where Ashtanga should be a part of my normal practice.  Wiki defines it as:  "Ashtanga means eight limbs or branches, of which asana or physical yoga posture is merely one branch, breath or pranayama is another."  Basically, he had us hold each position for several seconds, to really focus on all the aspects of each joint/muscle being used and direct our energy there.  The breathing was so natural, it just came with the poses.  He made us do some unusual poses, like to ball up or really open up the chest and continue to make tiny adjustments to be able to breathe in a long inhalation and thus a long exhalation.  He said part of yoga is finding the breath, even when it seems you are too constricted (i.e. backbent or constricted in a ball) and focus on moving your belly butten toward the backbone to get used to breathing when it is hard.  He kept us for an hour and a half!  Oh, well, it was good!

I think everyone should try yoga on some level.  I wish I had started when I was a kid.  Have a great hump day, everyone!

Expectations

A blogger whose blog I read wrote last week about putting pressure on herself and then not meeting expectations.  I related a lot to that.  We spend, spend, spend (time, efforts, resources, money) up to the crazy holidays, then I feel guilty and restless when I just sit still and then the day after expect my checkbook, my weight and my gastrointestinal system to be at normal.  Not so fast!  Then, add in some advertisements about sales, some social media posts where people's outsides don't look like my insides...YIKES.  Let me off the treadmill!  At least now that I am in middle age, I am a little more seasoned in my perspective.  But I do really feel for people who are young and naïve going through this time.  I used to absolutely mourn post Christmas.  Now I LOVE it.  I still do sort of expect a little too much from myself, but I just remember that today is just for today.  Yesterday is over and tomorrow is not guaranteed.  Just enjoy...and put one foot in front of the other.

Cold, snowy and gray today.  Back to work.  Back to sitting and having too much time to think and less distractions.  But I am happy, because my perspective is getting much better with age - just like good leather and wood.  I don't say wine, because I do not drink.

Merry Christmas

I am back at city house, after spending weekend at retirement house.  Had great Christmas dinner with in laws at SIL and her husbands beautuful home.  So enjoyed seeing MIL& FIL with their new puppy.  My husband and his siblings think it will literally make their 83 yo father live longer having a new dog.  It snowed about a half inch whike we were there and it melted same day.

We drive home Sunday Christmas eve in time fir church with my maternal aunts and uncles and cousins.  They light candles at the end...it was magical.  My heart swelled up with happiness and love.  There was a time in my life the sadness crowded out the happiness.  That is distant memory.

Today is just DH and I enjoying our last Christmas in CH.  I am roasting a pheasant gifted to us last year and i bought a few other treats for us.  We are going to enjoy a quiet day...then go back to work tomorrow.  As much as i am sad when the holidays are over, I am getting to the point I enjoy getting more balanced diet and scheduke back...and the white, cold, dark quiet of January.  Sort of a clean slate. 
I hope if you read this, you can get a clesn slate feeling for the time after the holidays.  Sort of like when you lay in a fetal position after yoga...to let it sink in.  Namaste 2017.

End of year golas/budget

End of year goals/budget

I am funding my Roth for 2017, so that feels good. I should have saved a lot more...I wish we would have decided to retire in 2018 earlier this year...maybe i would have saved more!  For now, I am working on living in the moment and enjoying all my city and CH has to offer.  This is my last winter this far north (not that I am that far north - just the farthest north I have ever lived).  Tomorrow is the shortest day of the year, winter solstice.  Then the days start to lengthen again.  Hallelujah!

I got on one  yoga class so far and I am doing another tonight.  I will either walk Fri or Sat and then I will have at least moved around 3 times this week!  I just go to work and was thinking of how this time last year I was going through a lot of tests still.  My specialist finally diagnosed me with IBD.  Inflammatory bowel disease.  I am doing ok, but I ate a piece of home made bread late and woke up twice coughing and gagging from acid in my  throat, so I will never do that again.  I had my typical protein smoothie last night around 6:30, but I will still hungry so I ate a piece of bread.  I had to get up and take about 6 tums during the night.  This week I was trying intermittent fasting to give my system a break and to avoid overeating.  Essentially I have been skipping breakfast and then eating a good lunch and maybe another snack in afternoon and then my smoothie evenings.  Well, I think I can do this better if I keep busy.  But my job is so boring and tedious, it is harder than weekends when I am busy.  I just sit here at my desk and think about what I can eat!

Today, my actual employer is coming to town to bring us lunch.  There are a few of us here at this location, we are all temps.  We work AT a big business, but we actually work FOR a firm that places us here.  We are excited to see what they bring.  Last year it was pizza (2 of us cannot have dairy) and year before that it was Italian (I can usu have salad and chicken and make it work) and year before that it was bagels and cream cheese. 

More about year end.  I do not have any paid time off as a temp.  So, a couple years in I started my own vacation fund.  I have been supplementing this fund with proceeds from stuff I sell.  I have made it a point and shown my husband that stuff that had meaning to him that he has sold I have put into this fund and have used it to make improvements/buy appliances for our RH.  This past summer we took out an unvented fireplace and put in a giant picture window looking out over our back patio and back yard.  I did 200 hours of overtime and bought a new range, (will buy) a range hood, and dishwasher.  I also bought my anniversary bands out of this.  I have enough left to fund my Roth and pay for the tile work we will have in our master shower (the contractor says February - my fingers are crossed, I have had the tile sitting in my garage for over 2 years).  I also started a tax fund and I fund it 75-100 every week.  I just paid all our pers prop taxes in RH (we moved couple cars/motorcycles down there 2 years ago - rate is much cheaper than city we work in).  And last week I paid city pers prop on the single car we have registered here in city.  I will keep funding this same fund until March, then I should have enough for pers prop in retirement town for vehicles and for our real estate.  Once we move (I am calling them in January), we will get our $350 homestead tax credit back.  Once DH turns 65, our real estate taxes will be locked in and never increase. 

We will not miss the following about city we work in:  taxes!  They are really high here.  Our family in retirement town figured their taxes were bad until I researched it and learned that our real estate taxes are almost double and our pers prop taxes are 3 times higher in the city than in the retirement town!  So we moved 3 cars (we have 4) and our motorcycles to retirement town and saved approx. $3k.  We will not miss the commute - we live on the other side of the river from this city.  We have to cross the river twice a day.  When there are accidents, it is horrible.  When it snows, it is horrible.  When it rains, it is horrible.  We will not miss living in a patio home where we have $200/month (not quite, but is going up now to $190!) HOA fees.  We will not miss having to bundle up, put our yapping dogs on leashes and walk them outside 3 times a day.  We will not miss the stairs in our house.  We have a basement and we have 3 steps down to the garage - I told my husband the other day, you know you are getting old when 3 stairs down in the morning is considered a hassle.  HAHA.  We will not miss the main living area of our house (living room/master bed room) being on the southwest (hottest) side of the house.  We will not miss our front steps being in the shadows on the north side (when it snows our ices - these steps take forever to thaw, making it treacherous to walk on them).  We will not miss paying $90/month for parking - my husband.  I park 2 blocks away, saving myself the $100/month parking where I work.  In March, I will have been here 10 years.  If I paid 100/month for 10 years, that would equal = $12,000!  I have literally saved $12,000 by walking 2 blocks from free public parking.  But I have fallen down on snowing sidewalks/parking lots, I fell once in the rain this summer and I avoid all morning appointments if possible, because I don't know if I will be able to find parking.  We will also not miss our jobs.  DH has been in his position 20 years, works to help indigents and the disadvantaged.  So, that part is good, but there are really negative/sad aspects to what he has to see and is exposed to and I know he will not miss that.  The entire system is so broken...well, that is a whole other topic.  And, it is not my story to tell.  It is his and his co workers.  People who do what they do, not because they wanted a cushy government job to lounge, but because what they do is critical to our system of justice.  My job, well...I had burnout pretty early in my career...more on that another time.  But my current gig is very boring, the pay is not great, I have no benefits, I have not had a performance review in 10 years and we are either sitting still doing very little bored out of our minds are we are on multiple projects, everything is a crises, we are expected to jump in and "figure it out ourselves" while being yelled at and talked down to like we are 5 years old.  The main guy who has been here at this firm all the years I have been here is good to us, respectful and really does try to take care of us and keep us on projects as people come and go.  Over ten years I have been part of a core group of about 25 who have been here 8 - 12 years.  We have had projects come and seen 50-100 people hired and we have seen most of those people let go.  Summers can get slow, but for sure, in this industry things slow to a crawl at Christmas/year end time.  There were years I was very nervous if I would be let go at this time of year.  Some of my long time co workers have been let go for a couple of days, to a couple of years, only to be brought back as projects dictated.  The partners at this firm are wonderful, nice and gracious, giving us praise and credit for our hard work.  Also, the associates, senior project managers and paralegals are nice.  The people I work with on a day to day basis who have awful are 1)  paralegals, 2)  junior project managers and 3)  staff attorneys.  I don't know if it is just because these newer in their careers people are just so stressed and busy, they are short tempered and under pressure and take it out on us or if they resent us because we are just "temps" and we get paid as much or more than they do and we can leave at 11 on Fridays.  Sometimes we hear this in a "joking" way when we are leaving at 11 and I always reply the same way..."I will trade you my uncertain temporary position with no benefits and Fridays off at 11 for your salaried position with vacation and sick days".  They just smile and waive. 

Today, I try to focus on the things I love about my working city:  There are lots of wonderful people here, Midwest people are very polite and welcoming and love their sports and their food and their guns and their heroes (sports, political, religious and historical).  This city is a city with a rich tradition of history and commerce.  There is a  big sense of "community" here.  I lived for a time out west and the people there were mostly transplants and really lacked this sense of pride and community.  My city has a lot of arts and attractions to see, lots of great shopping and restaurants.  We can go to all the concerts and live music we can find time and money for. 

We have a lot of family here.  DH 2 brothers and my 2 maternal aunts and their families and my paternal aunt and her family.  My dear grandmother (DGM) lives here.  I honestly cannot yet comprehend how we are going to be separated...I just have to avoid thinking of it, really.  Last time I was at her apartment, we were going through and arranging some of her santas.  I asked her where her cute little scarecrow for her door was...she said "I threw it away".  I usu take her seasonal stuff home or store it up high in her closet.  I asked what about next fall?  She said "I will be dead by then..."  Then she laughed and said "I hope".  This is not the first time we have had this type of conversation, we talk about death pretty freely.  I feel like if I make it to 98, I hope I have someone I can talk about death with.  More on that later too. 

Have a great mid week.  We are leading in to the Christmas weekend.  Enjoy your family and friends.  Hug people because they need it, not just you.  Do a random act of kindness.  Budget in a donation to a charity, it will make you feel every bit as good and a useless trinket you buy for yourself or someone else that will just end up in a landfill.  Enjoy the moments...I am working on that too.  Thanks for stopping by!

Midday Monday

I will prob play catch up from being so lazy yesterday, so close to Christmas.  Oh well.  I am still going to try to get in 2, maybe even 3 yoga sessions since I did not walk yesterday.  It was cool and windy/drizzley most of the day but when I walked my dogs at 4:15 I realized it was dry enough I prob could have gotten in a walk - darn!  Oh well, it feels good to ease off just a bit.  Until I can't fit into my carefully cultivated wardrobe!  Ha.

So, today I am ticking off a check list of all the stuff I have to do 1)  before we go to RH/state for Christmas, 2)  what I will accomplish before we come back to the city and 3)  prepare for Christmas Eve and Day in the city.  That means, I will have to buy couple more grocery items before we leave so that I will have plenty of time to unload the car, take a walk and get ready for 5pm chuch when we get home (after 4 hour drive) Sunday!  Oh well, life is good - too much family/friends/activities and food...will be like a blur when we look back in cold/quiet January.  I always have liked that part of the year as I have gotten older - quiet January.  I time of really backing off and being quiet and intentional.  I wonder if this transition feeling will change next year when we are retired/semi retired?

So today I mailed off a large poncho I got a few years ago at a festival.  My friend remarked about the sizeable box I carried (we park and walk in together most mornings - 2 blocks in the cold/dark morning).  I explained that I no longer give in to the thought of buying an object that basically serves one purpose.  A poncho.  A blanket is a blanket and can be a poncho too.  But a poncho is just a poncho.  So, gone!  Out the door.  I did not sell anything else, but I am not surprised - only a week out from Christmas.  At this point, I have been selling on PM for exactly one year.  I remember last year it was quiet right before Christmas but surprisingly busy very soon after - all seemed like it was all through January.  People are spending Christmas cash I guess.  So, I have pretty much decided that I am going to continue through Jan and then wind down.  It takes a lot of activity to get stuff seen/sold/packaged/mailed on any forum - but especially lately.  Last year it seemed to happen much more easily, now I have to share/share/share and list/list/list...just getting tired of it.  I have decided that good quality clothes that are useful...I will store in plastic totes under guest room bed - that is ALL I will store!  The rest will fit in master closet/dressers and overflow/dressy/seasonal in larger guest room.  Anything more than that - we DO NOT NEED!  The smaller guest room will be used for craft/office closet.  It is a tiny walk-in that has shelves that cover 2 walls (and 3rd wall up high - that I put in).  I will store little used fabric up high and down low I will literally make an office "desk" and I am going to take the doors off and store them in the attic.  The room also has built in drawers that hold craft stuff and I put in a sleeper sofa and a chair.  I plan to use that room for company overflow and for a sitting room if one of us wants to sit and watch a different TV show, or read and just have a bit of privacy.  It is small!  But cozy.

Other than that - not much frugal/projects/clearing out got done this past weekend, but it felt great to sit and relax all afternoon.  Have a great Monday!

Sunday Surplus

Relaxing at home after having early coffee and buying couple gift cards/delivering couple gifts/church.

Then came home and finished up some leftovers for lunch.  Sure was glad I braved WM after the museum Saturday, even though it was crazy busy yesterday.  I will avoid WM and Target until well after the holidays now.  I will go to Aldis or reg grocery now...maybe Sams, but I try to avoid WM and Target right before/after Christmas/New Years.  I just stress over crowds and rude people, but add in the crazed commercialism and my anxiety just increases!

After the museum, and after WM shopping last night we had soup I had in crock pot and bread I made in our bread machine.  It was good!  I used some frozen gr beef and half the frozen turkey stock from TG and added taco seasoning, ranch seasoning, can tomatoes, can kidney beans, frozen corn, can rotel.  The bread made the house smell great!  I bought my bread machine in 1990 and used it regularly since!  Mostly limited to winter only.  I cant believe it has lasted so long. 

So our neighbors let us know, their daughter passed 2am sat morning.  She was only 49.  A year younger than me.  A year older than my mom was when she passed away.  My DH went over and started their truck and let it run for about 15 min.  He said it was reluctant to start.  Before we went to museum we bought a trickle charger to keep it on and keep battery charged.  They are good people, we wish we could do more, but obviously we cannot.  They are going to have their daughter's services in her state she died in, where her daughter still lives.  My neighbor texted to say they will stay for a while longer.  The past year and 4 months, they have driven 8 hours one way about once a month, sometimes a couple times.  This last trip they have been there since well before TG.  they are in early 70's.  I cannot imagine how exhausted they must be.  I have been through the process too...more than once...the vigil to see a lived one's life ebb and flow...more on that someday.

Never again will I complain about the holidays...God please confort T and R and J's children as only you can...Amen.

Thursday, Can we Talk?

My husband and I talked last night about Net Neutrality.  In February when my 2 years is up, I am going to WM mobile phone plan.  My friend at work has it and pays $40/month unlimited 3G.  We pay $100 a phone now!  We also pay $50 for internet and $100 for cable.  If net neutrality is overturned and internet goes way up, like $100 - we will chose between internet and cable.  My husband has not been able to cut the cord yet, but if internet goes up to what cable costs (and cable has been increasing too), we will choose.  I could tell he is leaning toward cutting cable.  He does not think how we could do without internet.  I think (other than reading and writing blogs) I could wean myself off.  Pay bills through the mail with checks and get off social media.  We could go to the library.  I could use 3G on my phone and spend some time that way, but I think I am also leaning toward cutting cable.  Reading, Amazon Prime, gardening, walking, sitting outside...I think we can manage. 
Well, it is still fairly mild weather for Dec, it was really windy yesterday, but temps in the mid 40's.  I had really quiet Tues and Wed this week, went home early and hung out with DH.  Started watching a new show on TV, Knightfall on History channel.  So far it is pretty good.  Going to meet a friend after work tonight for coffee.  Then tomorrow after my half day, I got to help Granny with her books.  I am going to try and remember to take her some of the cookies I made last Sat morning.  if I don't make efforts to segregate and wrap a bunch of them, DH will eat the majority of them and that is not good for him.  I guess it is a good thing we are not going to RH this weekend, so I can work on distributing some of these!  I told him Sat that I want to go to one of our city's museums Sat and maybe eat at our favorite Thai place, which is about 50 miles on other side of the city.  I don't have much Christmas stuff to do at all.  We don't have children and we already gave his parents their gift (a puppy!).  I usu buy my Granny something to eat, because she is frail and needs nourishment and encouragement eating.  Otherwise, I have toned down my Christmas spending every year and when DH retires next year, we will really cut down.  Have a great
Thursday.  Thanks for reading!
P.S.  I have given 4 more things away (plastic cups to my MA1) and sold 3 more things out of my closet!  Woooo hooooo.  Not big things, not expensive things, but things out!

Tough Tuesday

Well, last night was my last hot yoga with my yoga instructor that I like so much.  She is moving to another location where she will have mostly day classes and possibly be able to work into something  where she can use her nutrition training.  Today I am really sore.  It was such a good class.  I am really going to miss it and miss her.  She is really sweet.  I know my GF (T) who recently had neck sx is sad she was not there to take one last class. 

So, I returned a classic white dress shirt I ordered online today.  I decided that if I ever do need a classic white button down shirt, I will find one but I don't need it now.  DH and I were talking to his brother and my SIL Friday when we met the new puppy and we were all talking about getting to be in our 50's and making career changes.  BIL is selling his beautiful new truck that he loves because he is making a career change and they are even considering downsizing their house.  DH is 63 and he thinks even finding a PT gig when we retire will be challenging.  I thought about it more and decided that I did not want to work 50-60 hours a week PLUS commute 45 min each way while DH sits at home.  He is 13 years older than I am and I don't ever want to look back and have regrets.  Our budget might be slim, but we think we can manage.  So, I feel comfortable and excited to sell me car in the spring.  I do not want to work to pay for a car.  It is crazy the switch DH and I are having as we think about this new possibility.  I am kicking my downsizing wardrobe into high gear now and even more so when winter is over.  So, about March we will be entering super-purge phase, prep'g house for sale and we will list my car.  WOW.

This past week I did some more spot deep cleaning, packed up another load to take to RH 12/22.  Listed 7 suits and a tuxedo DH owns, gave SIL a raised/covered cake plate, may have found a home for my cat (2 people who really want a cat are considering) and donated 2 large boxes of Christmas decorations/ornaments/gift bags/bows.  I also threw away a bunch of used bows and gift bags/confetti stuffing for gift bags that I have collected since late 80's.  I felt ashamed that i have wasted time/space/energy with such useless and stupid stuff.

Feel great.  I have not had dairy (again) for over a week and I think that was what was making me sick again.  Before an "experiment" trying it a little bit, i had not had it for over 2 years.  At least I am more convinced that it really is a problem for me.  Oh, well. I will deal with avoiding it.  I hope you have a great rest of your Tuesday!  It is getting really cold here, but DH took a brisk 4 mile walk with me Sunday and i loved the Vitamin D!

RIP Rusty

My DIL (dear in laws) dachshund, Rusty, has been sick all summer with allergy type symptoms.  He has deteriorated this fall, having anemia and pain/lethargy.  He even had a transfusion.  He died Sat morning.  He was only like 7.  I know how attached to him my FIL in particular was to Rusty.  Sweet dear Rusty, cross the rainbow bridge and be free of pain and run again in the field with Barney and all the other dogs.  You did your job well here on earth.  We love you and we will miss you.

It has been so sweet to see how much my DH and his brothers and sister love and worry for the pain they know this has caused their parents.  So, right away the 3 brothers began telling their father he should get another dog, if not puppy.  FIL did not say no and did not really say yes.  This was while Rusty was still sick and deteriorating.  The kids did not want to be too pushy or rush things, but they were very concerned because of how close FIL was with Rusty.  So, the search began and a pup was found a couple weeks ago.  A picture was texted to SIL and she showed her phone to her parents.  They agreed the pup was cute.  The pup was obtained by DH brother and his wife.  They were not supposed to get him for another week, but once Rusty passed they agreed to let him go a week early.  We went over to meet "Buddy" Friday after work, before they took him to DIL home in nearby state (in same town as our RH).  The report was that Buddy was very much loved and readily accepted and was the perfect antidote for idle hands and idle heart.  He even woke them up the next morning 5am sharp needing outside to potty.  DH can tell by his parents' voices they are pleased with Buddy.  So sweet. 

DH and I have 2 dogs and a cat.  We are trying to find a home for the 11 y/o cat.  Our other cat was elderly and passed this summer and the kitty is lonely.  My female Chihuahua does not like the kitty and barks at her.  The kitty instigates it because she is needy.  it is not an ideal situation.  My male Chihuahua is about 11 years old and has a hear murmur, so we worry about him.  As he was beginning to slow down about 3 years ago, my DH told me we should get another and he was instrumental in making us go look. 

When I walked in, DH really was drawn to the big dogs, be we know that our small male is not crazy about bigger dogs.  He went and looked at each big dog and I really struggled.  I encouraged him to go and look in the small dog room.  We walked in and the door opened right to left.  I was on left side, DH was on my right.  When the door opened up, it partially blocked the pens to our left.  I looked left and DH looked right.  When I saw little C, she nervously approached the cage and quickly licked my hand and then ran back to the back of the pen and was withdrawn and cringing, she was so nervous.  By the time I got DH attention, she was in the corner, refusing to look at us or come over to us.  I told him what she had done and told him I had a feeling about her.  DH was not too impressed.  The staff had us take her outside and we sat around (we brought our boy CO to meet her to be sure they would be compatible).  CI was so nervous, that she just stuck to the staff and would not come to us, even for hot dog bite.  Then I showed her a toy and she was interested, but still would not come to me.  Then I sat down and she crawled into my lap.  That is all it took!  We brought her home and we have had her now for 2.5 years.  She is my delight and so runs our entire household. 

Animals bring so much joy into our life.  I feel they are a gift from God for sure!

2017 Coming to an End Soon

I like the end of the year where we reflect and recall what happen during the year.  I am either trying to avoid getting sick or trying to get sick, I havent decided yet.  So I have tried to slow down a little bit and have had some moments to think. 

The beginning of 2017 had me worrying about one of my long time friends. She had gotten in a heated argument with her male friend and found herself in some trouble.  I helped her through that.  Then my DGM got sick and went into hospital and spent her 98th and my 50th birthday there.  She went to rehab mid March and finally home late April.  Late June I did overtime until October.  July I learned another childhood friend was having some mental instability and has been in the psychiatric hospital twice.  All my classmates turned 50 this year with me, we had a lunch at my house in Aug.  I went to the lake to celebrate my cousins 50th birthday.  I have watched a relative (PA) move and two others have cancer tx (MA2 and cousin S).  Another (BIL) learn he has slow cancer that does not require tx and have seen my SIL and her husband deal with his moms death and hourding for nearly a year.  I have seen a relative have substance abuse issues, another 2 have financial problems, I have seen cousins struggle to care for elderly parents, deal with abuse issues (a revelation revealed to me at a wedding) and I have received 2 baby shower invites (bought for 1 so far).  I have bought about 6 graduation gifts this year, given several monetary donations for animals and natural disaster victims and felt sad with the rest of the country as the hurricaines and wildfires raged this year.  While I happily received 2 wedding invites for next spring, i was sad to learn a relative is divorcing after one year and another relative is struggling with their marriage.  Finally, i have stood by helplessly and watched my dear neighbors while they watch their 49 yo daughter slip away from colon cancer.  At this point, her pain is so bad, I dont know what to pray for, except for God to comfort her and her family.

Current events are crazy, the entire world seems full of anger and hate.  But I have about as good a life now as I have ever had.  I have a wonderful husband, I have a great yoga class I love, a great group of friends and I have a job  and a roof over my head.  I do feel really overwhelmed at times with so much going on around me.  Now more than ever, I am making a daily effort to have daily contact with God.  I have been going back to church regularly and I know I have a God that looks over me.

Monday Start Over

I worked 60 hours last weekend.  I did not get enough of a break this weekend, skipped church to rest and get stuff done at home.  I did feel OK later Sat (just skipped lunch).  Went to dinner and a program with a couple of good girl friends.  DH stayed home.  I could tell he was missing me, texted me sev times when he was off and playing golf with his brother Friday and then I worked all day and did not get home till 9 Sat.  We spent Sun together.  I cooked and cleaned, the house was neglected after Thanksgiving being gone and then working so much last week.  Laundry.

We did get our bikes winterized.  I filled mine with gas and left it in driveway while he cleaned out corner of garage to fit them in enough to be able to bring his car in for winter, so its not iced in the mornings when he goes to work.  I always have mine fit in, on left side.  Plus, my car is an expensive new car, so we try to take really good care of it.  I had planned to sell mine next year if I can't find work in my new state.  The more I think about it, the more I think I will just plan to sell it regardless.  We could use the extra savings.  It is sort of stressful having a nice car, lots of hazards and people seem to just slam their doors into it and it just kills me.  It is starting to own me.

When we rode to get gas, just a couple of miles we saw about 10 bikes.  Everyone enjoying the mild weather before it drops to 20's tonight!  I hurried and did a nice walk yesterday while hubby put the bikes in garage, put gas additive in the tank and put them on trickle chargers.  Today I am SORE and have a head ache!  Stomach is better, but not great. 

I am not optimal for a Monday, but I have decided I am going to hit "restart".  I will decide how this week goes!  And it is going to be great, even if I am a little tired!  I heard a saying this morning that inspired me.  "Life is short, but it's also wide".  After all, I have a great DH, food cooked in the kitchen, toys winterized, hot yoga and super moon tonight (I thought it was yesterday), an overtime paycheck coming, great friends, dogs I love...life is good!  Have a great Monday!

What I did to simpliy this past weekend:  cleaned lower cabinets and cleared out corner of garage (DH did), we got rid of a huge Rubbermaid storage thing w/no lid, I sold a pair of shoes and a purse and I am giving away a vest (maybe).  I also cleaned out a bunch of pottery off the tops of my cabinets and cleaned out basement linen closet and stuff stored in the basement bathroom vanity.  It's not much, but it is something.  I have pretty much gathered the next load to take to RH in 2 weeks. 

Super Moon

Dear TV people of hollywood, please give us more shows as funny as the Carol Burnet show.  Amen.

Planning in seeing the super moon when we walk the dogs at 9.  Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Thirsty Thursday

This is from yesterday ..I feel restless today.  Not sure why.  Maybe because I am in limbo on a few things and my ability to control stuff is compromised.  I am still making progress toward the goal post, but I need to be grateful in the moment.  Not just put it out there for a few days around Thanksgiving and then move on full speed to unbridled Christmas.  Although, now that I am really not into Christmas, so that might give reason for my malaise. 

I am back on overtime, but just for a couple of weeks.  Yet, it intrudes into my housekeeping and workout and that affects my anxiety a little.  I have a couple of other projects I have to abandon too, so there is the shuffling and my DG does not get the attention she deserves.  I will just try to focus on the positives, remember it is temporary and think of the extra cash!  I will just have to do a little more after work in the evenings and try to focus my workouts on Sun/Mon night yoga.  When I was working OT this summer, it wasn't so bad because it does not get dark until 9-9:30.  Now that it gets dark at 5:30, I am ready to go home and crawl into bed. 

I haven't sold anything despite listing a lot more since Sunday.  But the real progress is that I have found several more things to list.  It really is like a floodgate, once you tap into that feeling, stuff just becomes so easy to let go of.  Crazy!